Juno Page #3

Bleeker is startled to discover that Juno is outside waiting

for him. She has somehow arranged the living room set on the

front lawn, and is seated in the armchair, chewing a pipe

officiously.

JUNO:

Hey Bleek.

BLEEKER:

Hey, cool tiger. Looks proud.

JUNO:

Yeah, I swiped it from Ms. Rancick.

BLEEKER:

Cool.

JUNO:

Your shorts are looking especially

gold today.

BLEEKER:

My mom uses color-safe bleach.

JUNO:

Go Carole.

(a beat)

So, guess what?

BLEEKER:

(shrugs)

I don't know...

JUNO:

I'm pregnant.

Stunned silence. Juno pops up the footrest of the recliner

and leans back comfortably.

BLEEKER:

I guess so.

(fidgeting)

What are you going to do?

The Dancing Elk Prep cross country team runs past Bleeker's

house in a thundering herd, wearing a motley assortment of

warm-ups. Their momentum stirs the crackling fall leaves.

They wave and holler at Bleeker and Juno.

JUNO (V.O.)

When I see them all running like

that, with their things bouncing

around in their shorts, I always

picture them naked, even if I don't

want to. I have intrusive thoughts

all the time.

EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - CONTINUED

BLEEKER:

I'm supposed to be running.

JUNO:

I know.

There's an awkward silence.

BLEEKER:

So, what do you think we should do?

JUNO:

I thought I might, you know, nip it

in the bud before it gets worse.

Because I heard in health class that

pregnancy often results in an infant.

BLEEKER:

Yeah, typically. That's what happens

when our moms and teachers get

pregnant.

JUNO:

So that's cool with you, then?

BLEEKER:

Yeah, wizard, I guess. I mean do

what you think is right.

JUNO:

I'm real sorry I had sex with you. I

know it wasn't your idea.

BLEEKER:

Whose idea was it?

JUNO:

I'll see you at school, O.K.?

She mounts her bicycle and waves before riding off.

BLEEKER:

(to nobody in

particular)

Whose idea was it?

EXT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - DAY

Juno pushes her crappy bike into the bike rack and winds a

lock around it. In the background, a group of 3 NERDS play a

live-action RPG.

NERD:

You did not! You don't have the armor.

That Orc Armor you bought from the

wizard doesn't have the power level

to parry my hit!

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY

Juno tries to push through the masses, but the throng of

students is thick and unwielding.

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY

Juno rummages through her locker, which is plastered with

photos of Leah and Bleeker, plus a giant poster of Iggy Pop

in his heyday.

She grabs a dilapidated physics textbook. A few pages slip

out. STEVE RENDAZO (the same a**hole who harassed her as she

walked to the drugstore) passes by in the hallway.

STEVE RENDAZO:

Hey, your book fell apart!

JUNO:

Yeah.

STEVE RENDAZO:

It must have looked at your face.

PWAH!

He high-fives his klatch of buddies and moves along.

JUNO (V.O.)

The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo

secretly wants me. Jocks like him

always want freaky girls. Girls with

horn-rimmed glasses and vegan footwear

and Goth makeup. Girls who play the

cello and wear Converse All-Stars

and want to be children's librarians

when they grow up. Oh yeah, jocks

eat that sh*t up.

We see Steve looking back at Juno for a brief second with

mixed feelings.

JUNO (V.O.)

They just won't admit it, because

they're supposed to be into perfect

cheerleaders like Leah. Who,

incidentally, is into teachers.

We see Leah at the far end of the hallway, talking animatedly

with a paunchy middle-aged teacher, KEITH.

LEAH:

(from a distance)

Me too! I love Woody Allen!

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - SCIENCE LAB - DAY

STUDENTS bustle in, as the teacher, MR. TINKER tries to

maintain order. Juno heads toward her desk and sets down her

bag.

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