Juno Page #7

JUNO:

There are ads? For parents?

LEAH:

Oh yeah! "Desperately Seeking Spawn."

They're right by the ads for like,

iguanas and terriers and used fitness

equipment. It's totally legit.

JUNO:

Come on, Leah. I can't scope out

wannabe parents in the Penny Saver!

That's tacky. That's like buying

clothes at the Pump n' Munch.

EXT. PARK BENCH - DAY

Juno and Leah are sitting at a bench in a park. They slurp

giant blue slushies and sift through a pile of Penny Savers.

Juno has her pipe with her.

JUNO:

The Penny Saver sucks.

LEAH:

Yeah, but it sucks for free.

They turn the pages in silence for a moment. Their lips and

teeth are Windex-blue.

LEAH:

Look at this one "Wholesome,

spiritually wealthy couple have found

true love with each other."

(checks to see that

Juno is paying

attention)

"All that's missing is your bastard."

JUNO:

(reading a different

page)

There's a guy in here who's giving

away a piano. Free for the hauling!

We should put it in Bleeker's yard.

LEAH:

You're not listening to me.

JUNO:

No, I heard you. I just can't give

the baby to people who describe

themselves as "wholesome." I'm looking

for something a little edgier.

LEAH:

What did you have in mind, a family

of disturbed loners who are into

gunplay and incest?

JUNO:

I was thinking a graphic designer,

mid-thirties, and his cool Asian

wife who dresses awesome and plays

bass. But I'm trying to not be too

particular.

LEAH:

All right, how about this one?

"Healthy, educated couple seeking

infant to join our family of five.

You will be compensated. Help us

complete the circle of love."

JUNO:

Yeesh, they sound like a cult.

Besides, they're greedy b*tches.

They already have three kids!

LEAH:

Hey, Juno. Juno! Look at this one.

She points to the paper and motions for Juno to look. Juno

scans the ad silently.

We see the ad. It contains a photo of an attractive couple

with ambiguous Mona Lisa smiles. It reads "Educated,

successful couple wishes to..."

JUNO (V.O.)

They were Mark and Vanessa Loring,

and they were beautiful even in black

and white.

EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - PAULIE'S WINDOW - NIGHT

We see Paulie's bedroom window -- festooned with childish

curtains -- and the light on inside.

INT. BLEEKER'S HOUSE - PAULIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Bleeker lies on his Car-bed in his track uniform, listening

to the same LP from when he and Juno went all the way.

He stares between the pages of his embossed Dancing Elk Prep

yearbook.

We see the object of his gaze is Juno's black and white

YEARBOOK PHOTO. Next to it, we see a sloppy, handwritten

message from Juno. We hear Juno's voice reading the message:

JUNO (V.O.)

Hey Bleeker! Spank off to this with

motion lotion. Just kidding (kind

of.) Your best friend, Juno.

Bleeker picks up the phone. It's the same HAMBURGER PHONE

Juno has. He reconsiders and puts it down.

There's a knock on the bedroom door.

BLEEKER'S MOM pokes her dowdy head inside.

BLEEKER'S MOM

Paul? Are you coming downstairs to

eat?

BLEEKER:

I don't think so.

BLEEKER'S MOM

You ran eight miles today, Puppy.

BLEEKER:

I'm not hungry, oddly.

BLEEKER'S MOM

But it's breakfast for supper. Your

favorite, Paulie. I made French toast

and sausage. Patties, not linkies,

just like you like it.

Bleeker places his hand silently on his stomach.

BLEEKER'S MOM

Juno MacGuff called while you were

out running. She wants to know if

you're coming to her little

coffeehouse performance on Saturday.

BLEEKER:

Thanks for the message.

BLEEKER'S MOM

You know how I feel about her.

BLEEKER:

You've mentioned it about fifty times.

BLEEKER'S MOM

I just hope you don't consider her a

close friend.

Bleeker's mom gives up and closes the door.

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