Juno Page #8

We see that Bleeker is clutching a pair of PANTIES in one

hand, which he slowly releases as the 45 ends.

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

Bren and MAC are seated on the couch. Leah is standing nearby

for reinforcements. Juno paces nervously, trying to suss out

how to break the massive news.

JUNO:

I have no idea how to spit this out.

BREN:

Hon, did you get expelled?

JUNO:

No. The school would probably contact

you in the event of my expulsion.

BREN:

Well, I was just asking. It seemed

plausible.

MAC:

Do you need a large sum of money?

Legal counsel?

JUNO:

No, no, I'm definitely not asking

for anything. Except maybe mercy.

Like, it would be really great if

nobody hit me.

MAC:

What have you done, Junebug? Did you

hit someone with the Previa?

LEAH:

Best to just tell them, man. Rip off

the Band-Aid and let it bleed.

JUNO:

I'm pregnant.

Bren and Mac are predictably speechless.

BREN:

Oh, God...

JUNO:

But I'm going to give it up for

adoption. I already found the perfect

people.

Leah presents the Penny Saver photos of the Lornings.

JUNO:

They say they're going to pay my

medical expenses and everything. I

promise this will all be resolved in

thirty-odd weeks, and we can pretend

it never happened.

MAC:

You're pregnant?

JUNO:

I'm so sorry, you guys. If it's any

consolation, I have heartburn that's

like, radiating down to my kneecaps

and I haven't gone number two since

Wednesday. Morning!

BREN:

(interrupting)

I didn't even know you were sexually

active!

Juno cringes upon hearing her most-hated term.

MAC:

Who is the kid?

JUNO:

The baby? I don't know anything about

it yet. I only know it's got

fingernails, allegedly.

BREN:

Nails? Really?

MAC:

No, I mean the father! Who's the

father, Juno?

JUNO:

Oh. It's, well, it's Paulie Bleeker.

Bren and Mac burst into shocked laughter.

JUNO:

What?

MAC:

Paulie Bleeker? I didn't know he had

it in him!

BREN:

(giggling)

He just doesn't look, well, virile.

LEAH:

I know, right?

MAC:

Okay, this is no laughing matter.

JUNO:

(indignant)

No, it's not. Paulie is virile, by

the way. He was very good in... chair.

Leah fires a be quiet glance at Juno.

MAC:

Did you say you were thinking about

adoption?

JUNO:

Yeah, well, there's this couple who've

been trying to have a baby for five

years.

LEAH:

We found them in the Penny Saver by

the exotic birds section.

Bren looks understandably alarmed. Juno hastily attempts to

make the situation sound more legitimate.

JUNO:

But they have a real lawyer and

everything. I'm going to meet with

them next weekend.

BREN:

Junebug, that is a tough, tough thing

to do. Probably tougher than you can

understand right now.

JUNO:

Well, I'm not ready to be a mom.

MAC:

Damn skippy, you're not! You don't

even remember to give Liberty Bell

her breathing meds.

JUNO:

Once! And she didn't die, if you

recall!

BREN:

Honey, had you considered, you know,

the alternative?

Leah and Juno exchange glances.

JUNO:

No.

BREN:

Well, you're a brave young lady.

You're made of stronger stuff than I

thought. You're a little Viking!

JUNO:

Cool it.

BREN:

First things first, we have to get

you healthy. You need prenatal

vitamins. Incidentally, they'll do

incredible things for your nails, so

that's a plus. Oh, and we need to

schedule a doctor's appointment.

Find out where you're going to

deliver.

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