Just Buried Page #3

Synopsis: Oliver is destined for an uneventful life until the day he and his brother Jackie breeze into town to attend the funeral of their estranged father. To everyone's bewilderment, Oliver inherits his father's estate-a funeral home. Oliver learns from the handyman Henry that the home is on the verge of bankruptcy. That night, his life gets increasingly complicated when he takes a drunken drive with the bewitching mortician Roberta and collides with a hiker. Roberta cleverly disguises the fatality as an accident, providing Oliver with his first paying customer and launching the duo on a merciless killing spree that evolves from accidental to intentional. As they scramble to stay out of jail and keep the funeral home in business, the body count rises steeply and their victims expire in increasingly bizarre and brutal "accidents". Trying to remain one step ahead of the local law (Roberta's father, Chief of Police Knickle, and her boyfriend, Constable Richmond), Oliver is torn between the affec
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Chaz Thorne
Production: Liberation Entertainment
  2 wins.
 
IMDB:
6.1
Rotten Tomatoes:
33%
Year:
2007
94 min
Website
22 Views


Pickles?

You tryin' to save on

your light bill or somethin'?

Where the hell?

You in there?

Oh! Goddamn prostate!

Come on!

Oh, there she goes!

So, how do we cover

this one up?

I guess this is why he didn't

show up for crib last night.

It looks like he fell

from that tree house

directly onto the spy glass.

How's about you leave

the detective work

to the professionals?

What do you think, honey?

I agree with Oliver.

What's the matter with you?

I just can't believe it's him!

I mean, ever since

I was a little boy...

I'm just gonna need a minute.

Oh!

Wayne Snarr is in your office.

Who?

He called me "Chief"!

Am I wearin'

a headdress and moccasins?

Come on.

My deepest and

sincerest sympathies

over the loss

of your father.

He was a good man.

Thank-thank you.

Take comfort in the fact

that he is in the warm embrace

of our Lord and

Saviour Jesus Christ.

Right. So how

can I help you?

I'm here for Mr. Pikula.

Didn't your assistant

in the hallway there

give you the message?

You must be a very patient man,

Mr. Whynacht,

'cause those people can be...

Uh, which people?

Anyway... Mr. Pikula!

You probably knew him

as Pickles.

It's a damn shame!

I'm conducting

the funeral service.

You are?

His sister saw my website

and requested

that I do the services.

Uh, what's this?

Well, you must

be getting tired

of the funeral business now

and, uh, me, well, I'm just

so darn busy I need to expand.

Now, it's not a huge offer

but it's the best one

you're gonna get.

Why don't you take the money

and head on back to the city?

Surely you have

a more interesting life

waiting for you back there.

Wayne Snarr.

Oh, I am so sorry.

Take comfort in the fact that

she is in the warm embrace

of our Lord and

Saviour Jesus Christ.

He poached our funeral.

You don't use a computer?

Well, this here is the way

I've always done it.

Almost 20 years

with your father

and another 10 or so

with the former owner.

This can't be right.

The Imholz funeral- it's huge!

Well, that's paying off debt.

How long till we close?

A month.

Barkeep?

Alright, um...

to Dad...

To Dad.

...for bequeathing me

his bankrupt business.

Cheers.

At first I thought

we could just, you know,

keep instigating

these accidents.

But then, after

Snarr came in today,

I thought:
why don't we

just take care of the problem

in one fell swoop?

What? What are you

talking about?

Oh, Snarr!

He's a bigoted ass.

And he's our only competition!

Uh, Hey! Uh, no.

Absolutely not!

Well, why not.

Just think about it, Oliver!

I- I'm- I'm selling

the home to Snarr.

What?

I, uh...

I'm sure he'll keep you on.

I don't want

to work for Snarr!

I want-

I wanna work for you!

I'm selling the home to Snarr.

Luanne?

Luanne?

Oliver?

Oliver.

Oliver.

They- they-they came and

they took all the furniture.

They just- They just-

They came in and they took it!

Ollie. Oliver.

I'm so sorry I didn't tell you

about Rollie's finances before.

It's OK.

Sit here. But you-

You'll get things

working again, right? Hmm?

Right?

Right.

Because I cannot go

back to the trailer park!

I- I- I can't!

Oh, Ollie!

Mmm! Ollie!

Ollie, you're so funny!

Oh, Ollie.

Oliver, this isn't

your first time, is it?

Oliver!

It's just- It's just that-

You know, ever since

I was a little boy...

Whynacht,

glad you could come.

Some job, huh?

That's beautiful work.

Tried to talk his sister into

the Shelby 387 with brass trim,

a full ceremony and burial.

but she insisted on cremation.

You know what it's like with

these immigrant families.

They're used to just

burying their loved ones

in their backyards.

I'm barely clearing

$5,000 on this one!

The Egyptians believed that

death was the true beginning

and that all of life was

just preparation.

Did you know they

used a long hook

to smash in the brain

and pull it out the nose

before embalming?

Uh, no, I didn't.

You see that sign?

Naugler was my

mother's maiden name.

Mom was an only child like me,

so she took over the family

business after her father died.

Dad never liked it.

He tried to get her

to stop after they married.

The real reason he didn't

like it is because he found out

she was having an affair

with one of her employees.

When I was 6, Mom died

and Dad sold the home to Rollie.

I will never forgive my Dad

for doing that.

It should have been mine.

OK.

OK?

We'll do it.

Snarr?

Uh, Roberta,

I don't think

this is the right

place for this.

Who's your dirty girl?

Who's your dirty girl?

Uh, you-you are?

So, uh, any ideas

on how we do it?

Ow!

I've been collecting

these for years.

What is that?

A pacemaker.

They have a lithium battery that

explodes in high temperatures.

That's why we have to take

them out before we burn them.

Just one of these suckers

will destroy

an entire cremation chamber.

So, I figure a couple dozen

will make a really nice bang.

Yeah, lithium.

He's the last one.

How do we know

Snarr's still in there?

The crematorium chimney.

Look who's next in line.

His left eyebrow

is way too high.

Yeah, you're

definitely better.

Hmm.

We need to

make room for the pacemakers.

Will you hand me

the rib separators?

Oh, OK.

Rib separators...

Yes!

Yeah, yeah! Come on!

Oh, it smells awful.

I need your help.

Get a bag. Come on.

Let's go! Let's go!

Pacemakers! The Pacemakers!

Wayne Snarr.

Jesus!

Take comfort in the fact that

she's in the warm embrace of our

Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Just leave it!

These were my mother's!

We should get outta here.

Are you sure it worked?

I think you must be bad luck

for my county, Mr. Whynacht.

Lot of folks been dyin'

since you got here.

Don't be ridiculous, Dad.

Accidents happen.

Firefighters

got the remains out for you.

I-17.

I-17.

B-8.

B-8.

O-63.

O-63.

Bingo!

Oh, my god! Bingo!

Bingo!

It's good.

The next game will be 4 corners.

You're playin' for this here

beautiful quilt

made by Annie Welsh.

I dropped by last night.

I thought he works

late on Fridays.

He took it off.

We haven't made love

in ages, Roberta.

I know, I know.

I'm sorry.

Charlie's been taking

some time off work

to look into Pickles'

death on his own.

He found the tissue you left

in Pickles tool box.

He gets the lab results back

on Monday.

So?

So, it's got yours and

Pickles' blood on it, Oliver.

So what do we do?

I don't know, Oliver.

I have to go.

Charlie's waiting.

OK, well, um, tomorrow-

can I see you tomorrow night?

Please?

We should talk about-

Charlie and I are going

camping tomorrow at Juniper Park

after he finishes his shift.

We really need the getaway.

I'm sorry, Ollie.

Well, little brother you got

everything you could ever want.

New truck,

the house, the girl.

Which girl?

The blond one

you're living with

that looks great in spandex.

Do you think it's weird?

Hmm. She's hot.

What-what do you

think of Roberta?

Isn't she with that cop?

No. Well, she's like, "ish".

What do you think of her?

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Chaz Thorne

Chaz Thorne (born 1975 in Bridgewater, Nova Scotia) is a Canadian actor and television and film director. He graduated from the National Theatre School in 1996. He has appeared on stages across Canada as well as in numerous film and television projects, including The Event and Lucky Girl. Thorne founded Toronto’s Jack in the Black Theatre in 1996. His first film projects as writer and director were two half-hour comedies for CBC television: Table Dancer and One Hit Wonder. His first feature film screenplay was produced in 2006 as Poor Boy's Game, co-written and directed by Clément Virgo and starring Danny Glover. The horror film Just Buried was Thorne's directorial film debut. His film, Whirlygig, was featured in the Atlantic Film Festival in Halifax, Nova Scotia. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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