Just Friends Page #7

I realize

She's no ordinary girl

Hm-mm-mm...

No ordinary girl

Oh-oh-hhh...

- Where's Chris?!

- I'll never tell you anything!

Oh yeah?

- He's with his lover.

- Deck the halls with bows of holly

Fa-la-la-la-la

la-la-la-la

'Tis the season

to be jolly

Fa-la-la-la-la

la-la-la-la

Dude, Jamie's outside.

What are you doing up here?

I'm getting my butt

kicked by Dinkleman,

that's what

I'm doing up here.

You see him play that guitar?

It's like he has 15 fingers.

Everybody loves him.

I can't compete with this guy.

You can't compete with this...

are you kidding me?

You're Chris Brander!

You're Hollywood. You date models!

He's Jersey.

He skis in his jeans!

It's Dinkleman.

It's Dusty Dinkleman.

- Dinkleman.

- Dinkleman.

- Dinkleman.

- Dinkleman!

- Dinkleman.

- Dinkleman's going down.

Dinkleman...

is going way down.

Atta boy.

Now you get out there

and you tell Jamie how you feel!

- Let's do this.

- Atta boy.

Good ol' Chris Brander,

ladies and gentlemen!

... Iooked down

on the Feast of Stephen

When the snow

lay round about

Deep and crisp

and even

Brightly shone

the moon that night

Though the frost

was cruel

What the...

It's the most wonderful

time of the year...

The jig is up!

Run!

You son of a b*tch!

Samantha!

You're here! Sh*t!

There she is.

There's the little slut

you've been

banging behind my back!

- Me?

- Not you, wrinkles. Her!

- Who are you?

- Oh...

- I'm Samantha James, b*tch!

- Don't shove me!

- You're a whore! Santa's little whore!

- Get off!

- Santa's little whore!

- Cat fight!

- Get out!

- You're gonna pay for this.

I'm gonna get you fired!

Hope you enjoy

unemployment, dickweed!

Get off me, God boy!

But Samantha, What about the words

to your song? "Forgiveness"!

Forgive this, a**hole.

Oh...

I hate this town!

Call me.

- Chris?

- Yeah.

- Little problem.

- Hm?

Duck!

- Ho-ho-ho! Ho-ho!

- No! Not Santa!

Whoa!

Flaming reindeer.

Wow! You don't see

that every day.

Hey Chris, it's Samantha.

I just talked to my sponsor

and I owe you

an apology.

It's Samantha...

Call me...

It's Samantha!

Hello, Joyce?

Joyce?

Go away.

Go away!

Mom, I said

I have a tummy ache.

Well that was

an interesting Christmas.

I'm sorry. I'll pay

for everything.

I'm not here

to collect.

What are you doing here?

I want to talk to the guy

who wrote me this.

Wow.

- Mmm... want some more?

- No. Gallon's my limit.

Oh, excuse me if I'm not

one of your stick models.

"I'm Chris Brander. I hang out

with Good Charlotte and Pink.

- I go to Jay Z's birthday party..."

- Okay, okay. All right.

- Thank you very much. I get it. I was lame.

- Yeah.

Actually, I was nervous,

but uh, more importantly,

does this hat

make me look fat?

So...

is your life everything

you'd hoped it'd be?

I always thought that

if I had a huge career

and famous clients

and tons of money

that I'd be happy.

And the truth is...

I was right.

I love it.

Especially the money. Ooh.

You're so bad!

What about you?

Let's put you in

the hot seat, huh?

Where do you see

yourself in 10 years?

Um, well, I see

myself teaching.

And I see myself

getting married

and raising a family.

What?

It's gettin' late.

Why don't I

take you home?

Or...

I could sleep over

like old times.

God.

- Hi.

- Wow.

- Ahhh.

- Ahhh.

- Here we are.

- Yeah.

Yeah. Hmm.

This is it.

You're finally gonna have sex

with Jamie Palamino.

Oh God, look at that face.

Look at that body.

Why are you smiling

like a friggin' idiot?

Go on, make a move.

Make a move!

What's on your mind?

Bush.

President Bush,

The First Family, really.

Dude, you're killing me!

This is the girl of your

dreams. Ravish her!

But what if she doesn't

want to be ravished?

What if she wants to stay friends? Friends

don't ravish each other?

Friends watch

"New Year's Rockin' Eve."

I wonder who's

hosting this year?

Chris, can you put your feet on mine?

They're freezing.

Yeah.

Hell yeah.

Her feet aren't even cold.

This is it.

Don't even think about

how weird tomorrow's gonna be.

- Chris.

- Oh, God. Oh, God.

What're you doing?

Where're you going?

- Is everything all right?

- Oh, everything's fine.

Yeah. You okay? Uh, you need

another blanket or anything?

- No, I'm fine.

- Ah.

You're not gonna make

a move, are you?

- Good night, Jamie.

- Good night, Chris.

You don't deserve a penis.

God, and we had

this great night

and we were laughing

and we were showing each other

old pictures and...

- Did he try anything?

- No!

- Did you try anything?

- No, but I put myself out there.

I mean, I wore

the sexy white shirt

and I did the whole cold-feet move

and we slept in the same bed.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I mean, why didn't you sleep with her?

- Oh, I know. I had her.

- I mean, are you two

on the same menstrual

cycle yet or what?

I don't know,

I don't know, I don't know.

Maybe I just don't compare

to these L.A. Girls.

Look, the timing just

wasn't right, you know?

I'm... I'm laying there.

I'm about to make my move

and then suddenly

it just hits me.

Where's this going?

What happens after

we sleep together?

Does she move to L.A.?

Do I move back here?

Jesus, Dude. I thought you just

wanted to sleep with her.

Maybe he just wants

to be friends.

Maybe he's gay.

I can't just sleep with Jamie Palamino.

We have a history.

- We're... we're... we're... we're...

- Friends.

God damn it!

I'm right back in high school again,

you know?

I gotta follow my own advice.

I gotta just walk away.

No, put me on the 3:00.

The sooner I get out

of here, the better.

- You sure about this?

- No.

When Janice

smiles...

- Janice?

- I realize

She's no ordinary

Girl.

Hey listen.

I gotta hang out

with my friends

over there, okay?

- I'll talk to you tonight.

- Whoo!

- What's up, homies?

- You tell me.

- What's with the nurse?

- Oh, Janice.

Oof, another bee

in the hive, my friend,

- just another bee.

- Well, what about Jamie?

What about her? I mean, hey,

it's great, right? Two biggest

geeks back in the day

now finally have a shot with the hottest

chick in high school?

- You can't write that stuff, my friend.

- Hey, are you kidding me?

Oh, come on, man.

Cut the nice guy routine.

I know what you're up to

and I am all for it.

I mean it is gonna be

sweet revenge on Jamie Palamino

for keeping us in the friend zone

all those years.

Oh, yeah, you wish you were

in the friend zone.

I was in the friend zone.

Friend zone's mine.

- Dusty, popcorn's ready.

- Copy that, I'm mobile.

- Listen, I gotta run.

- The man's juice!

You guys have a nice time.

It's been nice seeing you.

Have fun with Jamie. I know I will.

Clark, always a pleasure.

- Dinkleman.

- Son of a b*tch.

So we're looking at

day cares.

And Darla's got this one picked

out for TJ and it's great.

And you know, don't get me wrong,

I want the best for my kid.

I mean he deserves

the best

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