Just Go With It Page #12

We gotta have the sweet sex.

What? Okay? Come on.

Okay. Congratulations, though.

I'm trying them on as we speak.

I know, but I just bought them.

I had some with me and the one

I have on is pretty amazing.

Michael!

Nincompoop!

Nincompoopenschtic!

Michael, the crap is the stinking...

Hello?

Hey, you up?

Hi. Yeah. Glad you called.

Are you?

Um...

Yeah, I was, uh, just checking flights

for your parents tomorrow and I found...

No, no, no. You don't have to do that.

Her parents aren't coming in

and she wants it to be kind of elope-y.

Elope-y.

Got it.

Okay, uh, so, are you all set

for what you need to wear tomorrow?

Do you think this is a good idea?

What? The wedding?

Yeah, the wedding... Just the whole Palmer thing.

Well, that's why we came out here, right?

I guess.

You don't think it's crazy?

Um, Danny, you don't need my permission.

Okay? You're a big boy.

I know, I just...

I know if I do this that...

Just, things could get weird

between you and me at the office, so...

Well, you're not gonna have to worry about that.

You going to New York?

Yeah. I just, you know, I mean...

As much as I was looking forward to you, um,

reconstructing my face,

I really just need to start fresh, you know?

Hello, are you there?

You understand?

I guess.

It's an awful lot of guessing

coming through this phone.

I've been divorced, I have two kids,

I don't have time for guessing.

Got a big day tomorrow, Doc, all right?

So why don't you just get yourself some sleep?

So that's it. You have nothing else to worry about.

We have the flowers, the music and the location,

which is ha-wowie, by the way, you're gonna love it.

I promise you it is going to be

the most wonderful day of your life, guaranteed.

Devlin. Yeah.

Oh! Palmer! I didn't...

Well, you just look absolutely beautiful.

Really? Thank you. Yes.

Devlin, can I ask you something?

'Course.

Do you still want to be with Danny?

Wait. What?

Because I think that

he still may be in love with you.

Really?

Why would you think that?

He's always glowing when you're around.

And he laughs at your jokes. He doesn't laugh at mine.

Palmer, trust me, there is nothing

between me and Danny.

We're just, you know,

we're familiar.

And you are the girl for him.

He even told me that last night.

My God, Devlin, this is such a relief

because I could never stand a

chance going up against you.

Turn around. Tell me if this fits.

Put the hanger up your nose.

Stop!

Excuse me.

Here you go. Thank you.

Katherine!

Katherine! Oh, Devlin.

That was so much fun last night.

I know.

I am still trying to work out how you cheated.

I didn't. That's what happened.

So, where's Danny?

Devlin...

Danny's at his wedding.

Come again?

I was never married to him.

All a big lie that I made up.

Why?

'Cause I couldn't stand the thought

of you knowing the truth.

Really?

So, yeah, I'm a single mother.

I have two kids that I love

more than anything in the world.

I drive a Honda. Still have dial-up internet.

I got a 2.7 GPA in college, not a 3.4.

And while I'm at it telling the truth,

I named my kids' poop after you.

And I work for Danny. I'm his assistant.

That's it.

Really, I would never have guessed this.

I mean, you two had a real connection.

He's great. He's the greatest guy.

And I might even be in love with him,

but that doesn't really matter at this moment

because he is getting married

to another person right now.

lan and I are breaking up.

What? What happened?

Well, for starters, he's gay.

He's gay?

I mean, look at him.

That's a strong muscle right there.

I'm squeezing.

Devlin, I gotta tell you,

last night, with the ass grab of the coconut,

little bit of a red flag.

I've seen him do that with the soap.

What about the iPod?

Oh, he didn't invent sh*t.

He didn't?

No! He made his money suing the Dodgers

after he got hit by a foul ball.

Oh, God! That's so... What?

Well, this is different.

Yeah, why didn't we try this truth-telling thing before?

I don't know.

Hey. Hey.

What?

That's nice.

It's nice to tell the truth. That's good.

The truth is fun, isn't it?

Like, were you telling the truth

when you said you might be in love with me?

I'm gonna leave you two. Okay.

I'm gonna go get a divorce. Good luck.

Wait, where are my kids?

Palmer took them out for ice cream.

So, how was the wedding?

Okay. All right.

So, we're standing on top of this beautiful cliff. Uh-huh.

I start looking out into the Pacific,

and I think to myself,

"Wow. I am about to start my life

"with the one I love."

And the only problem was,

the one I love was not with me.

She wasn't?

She was not.

So you didn't?

I couldn't.

You couldn't.

I mean, don't we have something extra

happening with us?

Danny, I...

What happens when we're not on fake-cation

and you wake up and realize this is real?

You are the only real thing I've ever had in my life.

Danny, come on, man. I don't...

She's beautiful and she's... I'm not twenty-three.

I'm not that.

She's good, she's very nice,

there's only one problem. She's not you.

She's not you.

I have two kids.

I can't just drive them off a cliff. You know?

I love those kids

more than anything in the world, Guv'nor.

No, I wanna be with those guys like 23 hours a day.

What about the other hour?

Good job!

That's what I'm talking about.

Whatever!

Well, everything turned out

pretty good for everybody.

Squirt got to swim with the dolphins.

Palmer met some tennis player her

own age on the plane ride home,

who's an even bigger fan of 'N Sync.

And Maggie's about to start a three-week acting class

with the actual Dolph Lundgren.

And what happened for me?

Well, I'm finally wearing my wedding ring for real.

And now when women ask me about it,

I'm gonna tell them I'm married to a woman

who doesn't beat me, doesn't cheat on me,

doesn't drink... Well, doesn't drink that much.

And who I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with.

A woman named Katherine.

Would you like to dance with

your wife, Doctor Maccabee?

Yes, I would, Mrs. Maccabee.

Yeah, it's okay.

One more.

You were right, Soul Patch is going hard on that bass.

What did I tell you? Uh-huh.

Hey. Encore, man. I'm just kidding. Stop.

I get it. It is long and it's gross.

You don't need wind for that thing to swing around.

Rate this script:3.3 / 3 votes