Just Go With It Page #6

Why would he do that?

He met you.

He what?

No! Die!

No, no, no, no, no, no! I'm saying that did not...

You misread what I said.

I said we have to go to Hawaii earlier.

Because I'm excited for all of us to hang out there.

We're going to Hawaii!

I can't believe I let a six-year-old blackmail me.

I saw my shot and I took it.

You're angry at yourself

'cause you got us into this whole situation.

I did? You really did.

I think old Mary Poppins with the,

"You can't say no. You can't say no, Guv'nor."

Okay, listen, my tolerance

for these continued shenanigans is right here.

And if it gets up to here, I'm taking my kids,

I'm selling you out and I'm going home.

I am so happy we are doing this, Danny.

Are you kidding me? We're going to Hawaii,

we're gonna swim with dolphins.

It's gonna be so much fun. I was just telling the squirt.

And Seventeen magazine.

You brought that for these guys or is that for you?

It's mine. It's my favorite.

See that? Did you ever read that magazine?

Thirty years ago you did.

And hopefully we're gonna have

time together, right, sweetie?

Wait! Wait!

Danny, wait!

Muffinstein, I could not stand to be without you.

Uh-oh!

Is this him?

I see the Colonel von Generous

right here in front of me.

Okay, I'm confused right now.

I'm so sorry. I've not introduced myself,

we have talked on the phone,

but I am the Dolph Lundgren.

Devlin's man-friendl love monkey.

Oh, kill me now.

Devlin said you had to stay back and work.

I did. She what said?

Nein, nein to the work.

I will work when I am kaput.

You know, I think this is so great

of all of you, so mature.

I would have loved if my parents

had done something like this

when they got divorced.

That's why I was thinking we

should have the man come.

Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad.

It's important for the children

to see us as a unit.

And also I cannot stay away from this potato pancake.

She loves the schnitzel, you know what I mean?

You know what? Tongue feels a little dry.

Let's go get you some water, honey. We'll be back.

That's a big tongue, big tongue.

Get over here, get over here. Ew!

What are you doing here?

I don't know, saving the day. Helping. Hello?

Who are you talking to? What are you looking at?

I can't see in these things.

This is what you're gonna do.

You're gonna tell them that you ate a

bad sauerkraut omelet for breakfast

and that you are feeling like you're

sick and that you gotta go.

Katherine, I can't go. Okay? Why?

Because I texted a picture of my new

equipment to my ex-girlfriend.

Oh, you're disgusting.

And I forgot she's engaged to a UFC fighter.

He wants to punch me in the face.

I wanna punch you in the face.

Hey, guys, how we doing?

I am just waiting for the money for the ticket.

Mmm-hmm. So you are coming? And I am paying?

Yes. Dolph has zero dollars.

Whoops! Okay.

Let me see if I can find my credit card.

Oh, here it is.

That's for sleeping with my wife, pal.

There you go. Thank you.

Hey, hey!

Didn't have time to make any reservations,

but I need two rooms, please.

Oh, of course.

Unfortunately, we only have our suites left.

Oh, boy.

The Waldorf Astoria at $8,000 per night

and the Presidential at $12,000.

$12,000 a night? Mmm-hmm.

Do the Rolling Stones come and

play for me while I'm in there?

What the hell are you talking

about? Why is it so much?

Is it made out of panda?

I've used that somewhere else, but is it?

No, but you've made some terrific suggestions

and I'm gonna jot them down.

Are you a member of the Hilton

Honors Rewards program?

No, I'm not.

Oh. That's too bad. You should join.

Yeah.

Yay!

Just got reamed. I mean, I got the rooms.

Who wants to go to the beach?

Me!

Who wants to start drinking?

Me!

Okay, yeah,

I would create a fake family for that. Oh, my God!

You know what? You're disgusting.

Mumsy, please do come in.

The water's as lovely as Westminster in May.

No, honey, I'm good.

I don't really feel like swimming right now.

What is this from, my Liebchen?

Don't you be intimidated by

her whole thing right there,

which is perfect.

Oh, come on. Like she's intimidated.

I hope when I'm her age I look that good.

Yes, right?

You can look that good

if you don't take the elevators

and only take the stairs like Cary Grant.

Take the stairs. Take the stairs.

Hey, why are we stopped here?

Uh, what's the matter?

I can't look at engagement rings?

Engagement rings? Yeah, you heard me.

Look all you want, but you and I both know that

you're gonna get sick of this hottie

and you're gonna be back on the prowl next week.

Nope. I'm telling you, is this girl not cute?

Yeah, she's really cute.

Is she not the sweetest?

The nicest person I've ever met.

Did you ever see her lips?

I think she has the best lips I've ever seen.

They're like an inner tube and I just wanna sit on it.

You know what I mean? And just, like...

Do you want me to knock you out, or...

No, I'm saying you should sit on her lips.

Anyways...

You know, this whole situation reminds me of a song.

Danny is a big plastic surgeon

Who never had time for a wife

And he's friends with Davy Who's still in the Navy

Piano Man? Why Piano Man?

No, it's "Piano Dan."

That's based on your life. It's a little Eddie remix.

Uh-huh.

Eddie used to have an afro And

pimples all over his face

So he popped and he poked 'em

And Clearasil soaked 'em

But ladies still greet him with mace

I was maced one time.

Five times.

So, guys, we're here to get to know each other better.

Yes. Yeah.

Dolph, let's start with you.

So, what line of work are you in?

Well, Palmer, I am in sheep.

I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean.

I am a sheep shipper.

Oh. Yes.

You know, people, they don't buy the sheep

from the local sheepherder anymore.

Really? They don't?

No, they don't. They go online!

Yes! They go on the Interweb,

to my website, gotprettysheep.com.

And leave this, please. Thank you.

Now, people go on. They see the pictures of the sheep,

and they pick the ones they want.

You know, it's like, "I want that one.

"You know, it's very stylish. You

know, it's a stylish one."

Goes, "Oh, no, I want the shy

one who doesn't want to baa."

Or they buy the sassy one,

who's like, "Hey, I see you, baa, baa."

So, what do the people do with these sheep?

Whatever they want! Sky is the limit.

You know, some have them as pets.

Some have them as security for the house.

A lot of the people...

The new thing is training them

to fight each other in the Sheep Fight Club.

Sheep Fight Clubs?

Yes. All the sheeps, they get together.

They baa, all you hear is, "Baa, baa, baa."

And then you see hoof, kick, hoof, kick,

hoof, kick, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa!

And then he's out.

And that is how we met. She bought a sheep from me.

Really? Why?

Children? Okay, tune out.

Okay, 'cause some secrets are coming

out, all right? Some adult ones.

She likes to shave the sheep

for the pelt for the sex, sexuals, yes.

She has got a real fetish

Rate this script:3.3 / 3 votes