Just Jim Page #2

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down past the river,

then back to the finishing line.

Any questions?

- Are you a p*ssy?

- No, sir.

- Are you'!

- No, sir.

- Jack'?

- Yes, sir. I don't have my gym kit.

On three, everyone say Jack is a p*ssy.

One, two, three.

(All) Jack's a p*ssy.

Ha-ha, hey!

What's happening, sh*t pants?

Stop where you are.

Take a bath, you smelly f***.

Every time I see you,

you look depressed.

I am depressed.

Come on,

let's get the f*** out of here.

(Tyres screech)

- I stole from here once.

- Really'!

What did you steal?

Just a knife.

That's pretty f***ed-up.

Yeah.

- Seriously?

- I know.

Girls?

You don't want

to die nameless, do you?

- No.

- No!

OK, see, the key...

is to be mysterious but also open.

Hey, girls.

Seen you here a few times before.

Er, what are you...

What are you doing here... this time?

Buying food.

Buying food, yeah.

My... my name's Jim.

I'm, er... a male.

I'm legal, of legal age.

- And, er...

- (Dean) What the f*** are you doing'!

I had a dog once, but he's dead.

And I'm up for most things.

I'm mysterious, but I'm open.

- I've been thinking about your problem.

- I don't have a problem.

That's right, you don't.

You're just surrounded by friends.

I can help you

put an end to this sh*t.

How'?

By making you cool.

It's not going to work. I'm already uncool.

You can't erase that existing image.

Yeah, we don't, we change it.

- Is this really necessary?

- Yes, it is. Shoot him.

Wait a minute.

Right side's the gay side.

- Shoot him in the other.

- No, no, wait, wait!

Girls like Jilly like tough guys, right?

- Jackie.

- OK, fair enough.

What you got to do is,

you got to be able to step up

and show her that you're willing

to break somebody's dick.

(Dean) 'Let's say I'm a bully,

'and I say something to you bad,

really bad.'

- What do you say'!

- I'd probably say, "Don't say that."

OK.

Let's just say that... I push you.

What do you say?

I'd say, "F*** up."

- F*** up?

- I meant to say, "Shut the f*** up."

OK, well, don't say that.

That doesn't make any sense.

What you do is

you push that f***er back.

(Dean) 'Harder.

'Don't ever take any sh*t

from anyone, ever.'

Harder.

Again!

Put some snap into it.

Yeah.

(Laughing)

Don't act suspicious.

You f***ing run.

(Dean) To your new balls. Cheers.

Cheers.

You know, this doesn't...

This doesn't feel so good.

- It looks infected.

- Ll is infected, but it's badass.

The four dots are the walls

and that's you in the middle.

People are gonna think

you've done serious time.

- They will'?

- Yeah.

And what about these?

These are acceptable? These are in?

Yeah, dude, really in.

- You just don't have yours pierced.

- Yeah.

I've decided I'm gonna

help you win this race

cos you're not capable.

- You have the coordination of a cripple.

- I'm ready.

I don't think you are,

but I like your confidence.

- What about my face?

- What about it'?

It's very round.

It's all good saying, "Be confident,"

but you have a structured face

to back it up.

There's nothing we can do

about your face.

You're a solid four.

You're actually a three, OK?

But I'm not gonna f***ing lie to you.

If you were to stay yourself

with that face, you'd be f***ed.

When you talk to people now,

you look like you're taking a sh*t.

You're right, I do.

I'm not ready.

I don't wanna do this anymore.

I want out. I'm just me.

I'm still me. I'm not "not me" enough.

I've just got an infected tattoo

and my ears pierced.

Hey... stop being a b*tch.

Right, guys, this is it.

This is what we've been waiting for.

Now, I'm done with speeches

so how does this sound'?

You win or I'm gone.

- Whose school are you with'?

- Yours.

We're in the same school.

- Everything all right?

- Yeah.

Good luck.

F*** you, bug eyes.

(Whistle blows)

(Shouts of encouragement)

This could end really badly.

Turn around, you little f***ers!

(Squealing and shouting)

(Clapping)

(Cameras clicking)

Bloody hell, son.

You're miles ahead of everyone.

- Where are they'!

- I won, I won.

Jim.

There's no way that f*ggot won.

Ll was a fix.

- Hey, you shut up. He's a winner.

- Dad, a man chased us with a gun.

Don't be so childish

and don't be a sore loser, Leon.

- Hi.

- (Leon) That was a f***ing piss-take.

- I just won the race.

- (Computer game sound effects)

Can I ask you on a dale?

Maybe.

Pick me up at the Grippins.

Mam, Dad,

this is my new friend Dean.

Hello.

I had some pretty crazy times back then.

- Sounds like it.

- Sounds great.

But what about you guys,

you guys must've messed around,

experimented, right'?

I bet you went wild as wolves.

Not so much.

I did a lol of drugs in my early 20s.

So much so, I ended up

in a pretty sticky situation with two guys.

Here's to Jim being

the fastest kid in the county.

(Mum) We couldn't be prouder.

Speech, speech.

Er, I won.

End of speech.

So, Dean, where are you from'!

- Pennsylvania.

- And what brings you here?

The truth'!

I'm on the run.

I am... guilty of murder.

Ah!

No, I just wanted to come to a place

where the people look miserable

but sound happy.

Hm, well. And your family,

are they still in the States?

Well, I was dealt a bad hand

when I was young.

They're dead.

This bread is f***ing great.

- Did you make this yourself?

- No.

Sun, good pick.

So, how about you guys?

What do you do? What's your story?

Let me guess. Model'!

Close. Nurse.

I was a golfer, semi-professionally.

- Were you?

- Yeah.

I used to play a lot

when you were a kid.

- I don't remember.

- We should grab a game.

Yeah, I'm in.

Hey.

To my new neighbours

and friends.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

( ANDY FAIRWEATHER LOW

"Life Ain't No Competition")

If the big wide world

keeps treating you bad

And God's coincidence

drives you mad

Well, little by little and bit by bit

Better use what you got

cos this is it

Remember, life

It ain't no competition

Life

It ain't no TV show

It ain't but a mess of hard time,

religion and tradition

And anyway you do,

anyway you don't

Everywhere you go

Remember, life

It ain't no competition

Everything OK?

Right as rain.

Noticed your gate was hanging off

so I figured I'd fix that f***er.

Hey, buddy-

Michael, right?

- Yeah.

- All right, listen, dick weed.

I need you to do something for me.

Stay away from Jackie.

- She's my girlfriend.

- Wrong.

Do you want me to sh*t

down your neck? Cos I will.

My buddy Jim likes her now

so you're gonna slay away.

If you don't, I'll kill your mother

while I'm f***ing her

and then I'm gonna come back,

chop your dad's dick off

and feed it to him.

And if you still don't do something,

I'm gonna come back

and f***ing thump you with my car

and your f***ing body's gonna fly

over the f***ing hood

and I'm gonna take a knife and

I'm gonna shove it up your f***ing arse

and I'm gonna cut you

up your f***ing back,

open up your f***ing ribs,

take your f***ing brain

and f***ing stomp on it.

You got that?

OK, good talk.

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