Just My Luck Page #5

turns to crap.

Okay, Ashley,

calm down, all right?

For some reason, the fates

have dealt you a lousy hand.

But the wheel always spins back.

Right?

You're fired.

Oh, my God. I need

to borrow some clothes.

Hello! Open up!

- Hello!

- Yoo-hoo.

- Yes?

- You have ruined my life!

What? Ugh, it's you.

Everything in my life was

perfect until you came around.

Wait a minute.

Was it really perfect?

- You know what?

Don't you psychoanalyze me!

- Whoa.

Okay, just work your voodoo

magic and give me my luck back.

Fine. Concentrate.

Gosh.

All right? It's back.

Now, please, go home.

- I got an early day tomorrow.

- No, no.

Do not patronize me, okay?

You and your cards screwed everything up!

Now you have to fix it.

I tried to warn you,

sweetheart.

Look, did anything unusual

happen at that party?

Well, besides the fact

that I tore my dress...

nearly choked to death

and the felony charges, no.

Yikes.

How about before that?

Well, I mean, I kissed a cute guy,

but that's hardly unusual.

Wait a second. You said that I could

lose it to someone else, right?

So does that mean that

he took my luck from me?

Maybe he needed it

more than you.

So he stole it? That little

whack-kissing bandit!

No, that is just my luck, okay?

And you're gonna help me

and tell me how to get it back.

Me?

Well, let's see. Uh-

If he took it from you with a kiss...

then it stands to reason-

What?

So wait. We're talking

20 professional dancers?

One of these guys' lips are the key

to getting my life back, guys.

- I don't believe it.

- Whoa!

- Hey, get off the sidewalk!

- Take it eas'!

- What am I, a target?

- See, it's ridiculous, right?

You can't get your luck back

by kissing a guy.

I don't believe

how hot these guys are.

Oh, great!

Now you're encouraging her?

Oh, no. I'm just here

to observe and mock.

Guys, I'm just trying to get my life

the way it was again.

Okay, how are you even

gonna know if you kissed the right guy?

Oh, I've got a foolproof test.

Oh! Hey, hey, that's him!

Oh, yeah.

All right!

Oh, my God!

It's definitely him.

Oh, my gosh!

Ashley, he's married!

Ashley!

Michael!

- I suppose that's your sister?

- No, no, muffin, muffin!

Tomato. Sorry.

You ruined my wedding!

Ooh, yeah.

Okay, push, push, push!

- Excuse me. This'll just be a minute.

- Come on.

Sorry.

Here. Here.

Thanks anyway. It's all right.

- Oh, Dana?

- Hmm? What?

Thank you so much.

Feel better.

Please, please, please, please.

Why?

Hi. I'm Dave.

Hey, Lance.

Can you hear me?

Hi. How are you?

Um, okay, here goes.

Oh! Ow!

Girls.

He bit my tongue.

Here.

Oh, come on. Oh.

Ooh! We still have one left.

- Tom Guthrie.

- Spit out the ice, Ash.

- Mm.

- Tom Guthrie.

We've looked for him at, like,

three different addresses already.

Yeah.

You know, you're right.

I'm like the rest of the rabbit

after they cut off its lucky foot.

- I should just give up.

- Come on, Ash. It's not that bad.

Yeah, so you've kissed

a dozen bacteria-ridden strangers.

- You know, you still got your friends.

- Oh, thanks.

But it's probably best

that we no longer touch.

But I love you.

Oh, you love me?

I'm gonna get you.

I'm gonna kiss you.

DAMON:

Not another skunk!

Why did you ever beat me again?

Hey you, Steve,

is this funny to lock up Mr. Hardin?

Hey, I am talking towards you!

You know what, Damon,

this attitude needs to stop!

I knew exactly what you do

and I came for you to be here

for what you done!

You need to relax, Damon!

I'm just the Great!

You ain't the Great!

I'm hopped out of nobody else

who can't control it!

STEVE:

Just don't sit on

the ladder!

Oh!

Damon, these ladders had turned

to a devastated fast mode!

You told me about this time!

You say so, Damon?

DAMON:

Shut up! I need this!

Damn it!

Pancakes!

Hi, kitty.

Hey, Ash. It's me, David.

Uh, big art opening tonight

at Station "A" Gallery.

- David Pennington!

- Meet you there at 7:00? Don't break my heart.

David Pennington. Another date.

- I'm not going.

- Why not? It's a chance with a great guy.

No. It's a chance

to get hit by a bus. Maggie...

your black cat

is crossing my path.

Not good.

Come on, Pancakes. Don't be scared

of the superstitious, mean lady.

I'm not superstitious, but it's true.

I mean, it's bad luck.

Dane, how's my scope?

Leo. Leo.

- "Your moon is in Uranus."

- Ooh.

Doesn't sound pretty.

He could have canceled.

Isn't that proof enough...

that this whole bad luck thing

is totally bogus?

I don't think so.

Ashley, unlucky girls...

don't get asked out by one of Us Weekly's

most eligible bachelors.

Unlucky girls sit and watch their

more fortunate friends get asked out...

while they sit at home and watch Oprah

and eat last year's Halloween candy.

- That's true.

- You're right.

Of course I'm right.

Go get ready.

You know what?

Maybe I'm not cursed. You know,

I'm just looking at things the wrong way.

And these setbacks

could just be opportunities.

- Of course.

- Exactly.

- Because when one door closes-

- Two others open.

Okay. I'm turning over a new leaf,

and my good luck starts now.

Good.

It's okay.

Oh-

Did you just put that

back in your eye?

- It was my last one, guys.

- That's really gross.

Ow! My eye!

But, you see,

I- I'm on the list. I'm "plus one."

David Pennington, plus one.

- Hi, David.

- There he is. See? There he is.

- Oh, hey.

- David Pennington. There.

No, no, no. There.

She's- She's with me.

Thank you. Oh!

Ooh.

I'm okay. Fine.

Come on.

I got a surprise for you.

Oh, my God.

Would you look at that big, ugly...

- brown pile of-

- Uh, Ashley-

It looked like it came out of the rear end

of an elephant.

- Ashley.

- Huh?

Uh-

Meet my mother, the artist.

- Hmm.

- The artist.

Hi, Mrs. Pennington.

You know, you look

so much younger in person.

Not that I mean

you're old or anything.

David, if I'm going to listen to this,

I'll need vodka.

Good idea.

- Waiter.

- Yes, sir.

Sure. Hmm?

No, thank you.

David, darling, that awful man

from the Times is here.

It's him.

- That son of a-

- Excuse me.

Yeah? Oh, um, the waiter.

He was just-

- More your type? I totally agree.

- Wha-

- Mother, please.

- Um, if you two don't mind,

I'm gonna run to the ladies' room.

You! Finally.

- Excuse me?

- You're gonna keep your tongue

in your mouth at all times...

- 'cause this is strictly business.

- What?

- Give me back my luck. Come here.

- What the-

- Let go of me.

- Just- Uh-oh.

From the bowels of this

mortal coil come... the mud men.

- Kiss me, damn it!

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