Just My Luck Page #6

- Let me up! I'm in the show!

- I am a mud man.

- I am a mud woman.

We are mud people...

and he is our mud king.

- Heart attack! I know C.P. R!

- I'm not having-

He's not breathing!

He's totally breathing!

No, he's not.

It's a cardiac reflex thing.

- I need to give him mouth-to-mouth.

- I can't breathe.

Mmm.

He's gonna be okay.

- Sorry.

- Lucky you were here.

Lucky you know C.P.R.

Yeah. You know what?

That's me. Lucky.

You know, I'm feeling

kind of- Oh!

Oh.

Irreplaceable!

It's ruined.

This is ridiculous. It was just mud.

You must have met my twin sister.

She was in here the other night.

She's the b*tch.

I'm the nice one.

- What can I get you?

- Um, can I just have a glass of water?

No buy, no sit. See?

Can I use the bathroom?

N-No buy, no bathroom!

Okay. Great. Fine. Fine.

I'm leaving.

I'm leaving. Oh, are you all

enjoying the show?

You know, the real me

doesn't have days like this.

As a matter of fact,

maybe I'm not even here right now.

This is all probably

a- a dream that I'm having...

induced by a-

a deep-tissue massage.

- Yes. A massage that I won at a charity raffle.

- Shut up.

That looks good.

Are you done with that?

No. That was a joke.

I'm not gonna eat your scraps.

Gosh! Maybe just some bacon.

Mmm! Mmm!

I don't know what she's doing.

Mmm! Mmm!

Oh, my God.

I'm like a coyote.

Perfect.

Oh, not the salt.

Just so everyone knows...

I think what I'm about to do is completely

ridiculous, but it can't hurt, can it?

Come on.

- My eye!

- Oh, my God!

Oh! Oh, my-

- It was an accident. I'm sorry.

- Miss, I think it's, uh...

- time to go now.

- Oh, my God. All right.

I'm sorry.

It was an accident.

- I think we're clear.

- Thanks for that. Sorry.

- I couldn't help but overhear your, uh-

- Oh, meltdown?

- Yeah. Broke. Jobless.

And I just ate le jambon d'tranger.

- What?

- A stranger's bacon. I thought

it would sound better in French.

- Oh.

- Guess not.

You looked a little hungry. I thought you

could use this. Turkey on rye, extra mustard.

Oh. Yes. Thank you.

- Thanks. Um, nice to meet you.

- Okay. Yeah.

I'm gonna-

Look. I know of a job-

if you're looking for one.

Really? What's the scam?

- No scam.

- Well, do you want me to

join your religion or something?

No. No religion stuff.

It's just a job. You know, a bad job.

Crummy pay for crummy hours.

That still doesn't answer

my question. What's the scam?

Let's just say I know

what it's like to be S.O.L.

- S.O. L?

- "Sh*t out of luck."

What makes you think I'm S.O. L?

Just because I spilt the salt back there?

Yeah.

Oh!

Look. Where you are right now,

I've been there.

Been there? I lived there.

I was kind of the mayor of there.

I'm Jake.

Ashley.

- Oh, God.

- Yeah, yeah. No, you got it.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Looks great on you.

Can anything else-

I mean, to be honest...

I'm not really dressed for

a job interview right now.

For this one

I think you'll be fine.

- Okay.

- Wanna check it out?

- Why are you so nice?

- Why-Just- Look. I mean...

sh*t out of luck-

That's my thing.

...put me in this position.

- You're gonna love her.

- This is not fair. Listen.

- She's great.

- I don't need another loser waitress here.

- Okay, Mac. Okay.

You won't be sorry.

- I didn't get it.

- No, no, no, no, no. No, no. It's not that.

You can have the job,

but it's my old job.

So?

Well, see, I- I'd hoped he would hire you

as a waitress or something.

My old gig was kind of a- like a janitor,

food delivery person, toilet attendant.

I'll take it. I'll take it.

Whoa! God!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa. Oh!

Oh!

God.

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Ow! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh.

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

What the-

I'll clean that up.

Come on, boys.

Move it or lose it. Let's go.

There we go.

Before Phillips will release the album,

he wants to see you play a larger space...

- like the Knitting Factory.

- Oh!

See if you can hold a big crowd

for an hour, create some preheat. Huh?

- Yeah! When?

- I don't know.

Guys! Listen. Carley, turn the radio up.

- No way!

- That's it! That's it!

Let's celebrate.

Burgers and fries on me.

All right.

Hey, sweetie. You, uh, scamper up

that ladder and- and fix that light.

- Well, I'm not so good with-

- Thanks.

Heights.

That's McFly,

a new British invasion band-

Phillips will tell us tonight. In the meantime,

we have to focus on fine-tuning-

Whoa.

Track-

See, that's not good.

She should have gone up

without the bulb...

then brought down the old one,

because now she's gonna be juggling-

Eh! Hey!

- You know where the broom is.

- Yeah. I'll-

And she should have turned off the light

first because now she's gonna be-

Electrocuted.

- Oh, my God.

- Hi.

Hi.

So, other than, uh, you know,

getting zapped, how's the job working out?

- Oh, I can't complain.

- That's good.

No. I mean I'm literally not allowed

to complain. I had to sign something.

Oh. I remember that.

- This is cold, so it'll help.

- You're very handy with this stuff.

- Thanks.

- Ah, that feels good.

- Is that toothpaste?

- Yeah. It's an ancient Chinese

remedy for burned fingers.

Yeah. It pays to be prepared.

I've got everything in this backpack.

I have first aid, extra socks.

- Isn't that a bit defeatist?

- No, it's being a realist. You've been out there.

Hey. Let me see your cell phone.

Why?

- What the-What is this?

- Oh. Flip it like that.

Like that.

Address book.

"Bergdorf's, Bendel's and sushi."

Are you nuts?

Unlucky people need hospitals.

Also, never call 911.

They take forever.

Fire responds. They're great.

National Poison Control Center.

Ask for Lou. He's very good.

You know what? Um...

this backpack has seen me through

just about everything.

And...

I think it's time to pass it on.

- Oh. No, no, no. I couldn't.

- No. No. Honestly, I think you should have it.

- Please. You need it more than I do.

- Thank you.

Uh, I better take this.

- Oh, yeah. Sure. Of course.

- Hey, Katy. How's my girl? What?

Your key? You checked the doormat?

Um, okay. What-What if I pick you up,

take you to the new place?

Yeah. You'll love it.

It's huge.

Okay. We'll have pizza.

It'll be fun.

- I gotta run.

- Okay. Uh, yeah.

See ya, Ashley. Uh, it's just a-

It's a girl. Yeah. No.

Hey. Guys. Guys. Guys. Come on.

- Hey, guys. Sounds good.

- How you doing? Thank you.

- What's going on?

- Look, Jake. The Knitting Factory fell through.

- What?

- Oh, you're joking.

- That sucks.

- But "Five Colors" has been

gettin' great radio play...

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