Just One of the Guys Page #7

- Wanna split her records?

- Tell me now or tell me in the hospital!

I'm suddenly remembering.

If I tell you where she is,

you gotta take me with you.

I don't want to miss this.

- Let's go.

- Wait.

It's kind of formal, I've gotta change.

Thank you. Thank you.

Well, as chairwoman of the prom

committee, it's now my pleasure...

...to announce

your prom king and queen.

The envelopes, please.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this year's prom queen is...

Deborah Strowbridge.

Hey, I swear to God, I'm not lying.

Okay, all right,

and this year's prom king is:

- It's Greg Tolan.

- Yeah.

All right, Greg! Way to go, Greg.

Congratulations, Greg.

Thank you, Deborah.

You know,

now that I take a good look...

...they do make a nice couple.

- Normally we have a traditional...

...king and queen's dance, but as

chairwoman of the prom committee...

...l've decided that

that's a stupid tradition.

So everybody dance!

Come on, Rick.

May I cut in?

Tolan, you're a creep.

You son of a b*tch!

I'm gonna scratch your eyes out!

Help!

You dumb ox, you're in trouble!

Help me!

Put me down! Put me down!

Sh*t, where did these guys

learn to fight?

Okay, tough guy,

you want a piece of me now?

My back's not turned the other way.

- Nice tux, you'll look good buried in it.

- Come on.

No pain, no gain.

Hey, Ter.

- Buddy.

- I missed you.

- Terry, are you all right?

- Kevin?

Hey, Sandy!

What are you doing here,

in a tuxedo?

Please go home, I'll call you tonight.

- Who is this guy?

- Terry's boyfriend, who are you?

Just a friend.

We can work this out.

I know you still love me.

No, I don't. I love someone else.

- Whoa, thanks, but no, thanks.

- Look, we belong together. You're my...

Hold that thought. Can I talk to you for

one brief moment? I'll be right back.

- What's going on?

- Wait, it gets better.

Yeah, big night, huh?

- I bet you're a little confused.

- I think I understand.

I know I should have

told you sooner, but...

...I didn't.

- I'm a...

- Terry, I know.

You're gay.

I'm not gay.

Wait a minute, now I'm confused.

I'm a girl. I'm a woman.

Right, and I'm Cyndi Lauper.

Could we please go back

to the prom now?

I'm a female, I swear.

- Wait, are those what I think they are?

- I'm sorry.

Where do you get off having tits?

There was this contest,

and I needed to prove it...

...but then I stayed and I met you,

and you're so wonderful that...

- Sh*t, I can't believe this.

- Rick, I know you're mad.

But I think you're terrific, and your

friendship means so much to me...

...that I just...

- Then this whole thing was bullshit.

Major bullshit.

Rick, wait.

You've gotta understand how much

you mean to me, believe me.

Right, Terrence, because

you've been so honest up till now.

- So how's the fish?

- Great, I put a frogman in the bowl.

And you know what?

They really do love pizza.

- Rick, can't you just forgive me?

- No, I can't.

Rick.

It's okay, everybody. It's all right.

- He has tits.

- What?

Come on, Deborah, let's go.

Whoa, 9:
15 already.

Well, gotta go.

Had a lovely time,

have a nice prom.

Hi.

- You're probably here with a date.

- Yeah.

Thanks, son.

Buddy, why'd you bring Kevin?

Good evening.

Hey, no problem.

Just a couple of nice all-American

kids experimenting with sex.

- You remember Sandy, the fish girl?

- Hi.

Hello.

You know, my voyage

of self-discovery...

...has ended in despair.

Hey, that's so interesting, really.

Could you shut the light off, please?

I'm seeing Julian

again this weekend.

He is so cool.

- I can't believe I finally lucked out.

- Denise, he is the lucky one.

Hey, Terry...

...is it true you broke up

with that college guy?

- It's true.

- You wanna go out Saturday night?

I'm sorry, but I'm really not ready.

What about Sunday,

you think that's enough time?

Thanks.

Terry, you have to snap out of this.

I will.

Just may take me a couple of years.

Terry.

I really liked your article.

Especially the part on how you can

be cool even if you don't dress cool.

I feel the same way.

You wanna go out sometime?

I'm really not ready yet.

Thanks anyway.

Shelley, wait up.

Terry, could you come

in here please?

Mr. Raymaker.

Come into my office.

I read your article in the Sun-Tribune.

- Congratulations on winning.

- Thanks.

It was real good.

- And I'm sorry I misjudged you.

- You don't have to apologize.

I wouldn't have this job

if it weren't for you.

You forced me to fight for

what I wanted...

...and I will never forget you for that.

Thank you.

I learned a lot too.

What about that kid you wrote

the article about, Rick?

He hates me.

Well, that's too bad.

You really like him, don't you?

Why do you say that?

I read your article.

Don't worry, I'm a stunt driver,

I do this for a living.

Swift parking job, Bud.

- And you're late.

- Yeah, I ran out of gas.

But don't worry,

I put a buck's worth in, on me.

Terry, it's summer, smile.

My face hurts when I smile.

Listen to me, O sister of my loins.

I've got a driver's license

and a sex life.

You've got the job of your dreams

and a chauffer.

Life is sweet, let's get an ice cream.

It's for you.

You look very good in a dress.

Very good.

I thought you hated me.

I missed you.

I read your article. Do you...

...still feel the same way about me?

Yeah, I guess I do.

Why don't we go out

and have some fun?

You know, maybe we could go

dancing Friday night?

Wait a minute.

I'm the guy here.

Let me just try this, okay?

Why don't we go out dancing

Friday night?

What an original idea.

- Hey, you wanna go for a ride?

- Yeah.

As long as I get to drive.

Come on, Buddy.

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