Kabluey Page #2

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I'll come right back.

You are okay. It is okay. I will be right back.

Calm down, calm down.

Just relax. We will be right back.

Excuse me.

- What are you doing?

- Have you kidnapped these kids?

What? No, no, no.

Their father is my brother.

All right, whatever.

Because I'm just being safe.

You would be surprised how many people

bring juvenile hostages into grocery stores.

And then it is, "Hello! AMBER alert".

Sir, we can't have you tying your child up

outside the store. It looks very bad.

They are not his kids.

Apparently he is their uncle. Or so he says.

Please, just untie the child.

This is a family store.

Or go over to the Shopway.

Hold this. Cameron! Come back here.

Cameron, Cameron? Cameron?

All right, that is enough. Now let us go.

Now we are going home.

Hey! Hey! What? Stop it. Stop it.

- I hate you!

- Now Cameron, that is enough.

Now let us go. Come on.

I am going to kill you.

- This is not working.

- Yeah. Well, I tried...

Mommy, mommy,

look at this beautiful flower I drew for you.

That is nice Cameron, but I'm talking

to uncle Salman right now. Okay?

I love you, mommy.

I love you too.

I'll look at it later on, all right?

You know, your son there

threatened to kill me today.

- Why would you say something like that?

- Because it is true.

He told me he was going to kill me.

And you know, he had this

incredibly cold look in his eyes.

And for a minute I just didn't know.

Mommy, mommy, I drew you a princess.

This, I mean, this right now.

This, what you're seeing right now?

This is just a spin. This is just a front.

I mean, you don't have any idea what

this kid is like when you are not around.

You know? I mean, he may very well be like

Damien in "The Omen!" That does happen!

- It is possible.

- Mommy, can I sit next to you at dinner?

Okay. That is enough.

Okay, Cameron, dinner is going to be ready

in a minute, honey.

I think you should go back to Nevada.

- I can't.

- Why not?

I don't have any money.

I can't afford to go anywhere.

You are thirty-two years old

and you can't afford a bus ticket?

No.

Even if I did, it is not like I can just get

on the bus and go anywhere.

I don't have any money.

I can't get an apartment.

- So you don't have a credit card?

- Yes.

But it's totally...

Yeah.

- Hi, mommy.

- Hi.

- What are you...

- I came home for lunch.

- Okay. We were just about to...

- I may know of a job for you.

Really?

/- Is it a full time job?

/- I don't know what it is.

/It is with maintenance or something

/in my building at work.

/I just heard they were hiring

/and I gave them your name.

/- Does maintenance mean like trash pickup?

/- I don't know.

/Well, what are we going to do

/about the boys?

/If it is not full time, the boys could be

/in day care for a couple of days.

/- You can help me pay for that now.

/- What is the actual job?

/Salman, look just go down there and

/talk to them. I gave them your name.

/- Okay.

/- Yes. Say, "Thank you".

/Thank you.

He likes me.

There is nothing I can do about it.

I don't know why I should be in trouble

because he likes me.

So I told her right to her face,

"You can't talk to me like that.

I have been working for seven years.

And I don't have to take that".

And I don't. And she knows that.

And he smiled, he looked at me and I just...

So I don't care. I didn't say anything.

She didn't say anything.

That is just the kind of person I am.

Is it my fault the other company's CEO

is flirting with me?

Or if he thinks I'm cute or smart?

Or really good with PowerPoint?

No, it is not. She can't even do her own

PowerPoint presentation.

She can't even print her handouts

three to a page on a color printer.

But you know, because she is the manager,

it is okay.

You know, during the meeting he said,

"Who did these slides?"

Because it is the same aqua color

I use on all my graphs.

And I didn't say anything.

Because I never say anything.

You know, do I say anything?

I never say anything.

I just do my work and keep my mouth shut.

And I don't say anything.

- I have a job interview here.

- Job interview?

Nobody is getting hired here.

I think so.

This Blunexion in this building, right?

Yeah, well the whole building is Blunexion.

What is left of them.

- What do you mean, what is left?

- Well, the market crashed

before they could get everybody moved in,

didn't it?

And who is working there now?

Ten people? Eight?

For one little Internet web site.

No. There are no job interviews here.

Sh*t.

- Are you Trout?

- What?

Trout, the brother of the receptionist, Leslie.

Or whatever.

Oh, yeah, brother-in-law.

But it is Salman, not Trout.

- Salmon?

- Salman. Like Salman Rushdie.

You mean, "Salman Rushdie"?

Jesus. Whatever. Just come with me.

And thank you for your help, Edgar.

Get the door.

Come on. Keep up.

Take a seat.

All right. I am going to be as honest

with you as I can possibly be.

I cannot get you into the 401 K.

Oh, okay.

They are just barely

holding this place together, as it is.

I can't even get a haircut because of

the bullshit I'm tied into down here.

I thought this was a maintenance position.

Look this is the last favor

I'm doing for you guys upstairs.

Now if Lyle wants to come down here

and screw me over, let him do it to my face.

I am legally required to post this job

in the paper for two weeks.

And accept resumes from minorities

and the mentally handicapped.

Now, I will hire you.

But this is my last favor. The last one.

That's it. You got it?

Oh, Jesus Crap Christ. What now?

What the hell you doing, Kathleen?

Who gave you authorization to do this?

If you must know, Ken told me to

get someone to publicize the rental space.

- How much they paying you, dude?

- I don't know.

I'm just trying to bring some revenue

into the building to keep up

with the projections

that were set without my prior approval!

You know what, Kathleen?

I don't need any of your bullshit right now!

You get off my back!

So help me God,

I am going to roast you, woman.

- Just get out of here!

- Don't let her manipulate you, man!

- Okay.

- Eat my mother-loving sh*t!

Good one, Kathleen.

Got me on that one, didn't you?

All right. F***!

Are you ready to get started?

But what is the job?

All you have to do

is hand out flyers on the street.

It is eight... It is six dollars an hour.

And if you get someone to lease

office space, I will give you a two hundred...

I'll give you a hundred dollar bonus.

All right?

Okay. Now, get up and come here.

I have to work every other day.

And then half day on Friday.

- Is that all right?

- Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

We just need to establish a street presence

to get the word out.

- Do you suffocate?

- What?

In small spaces. Do you asphyxiate?

Are you...

Oh, you know, agorerotic or whatever?

- No.

- Good. Okay, just get your feet in here.

The head is really heavy

so we will start with the body.

- Wait. I'm going to wear this?

- Well, I'm sure as hell not going to wear it.

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