Kabluey Page #3

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Look, we had a shitload of luck with this

thing at a company picnic a few years back.

It is not like you have to dance around.

You just hand out flyers.

Now get your foot in there, okay? Come on.

- I have to get my other shoe off.

- Well then, let us do it.

- Okay, other foot. That is it.

- Feels kind of weird.

Oh this thing is going to be hot.

You are not a diabetic, are you?

Come on!

Let us go, Kabluey!

Come on, you can do it.

Just follow the sound of my voice.

Listen to me clap. Hear that?

Just follow the clapping.

Let us go. One, two, three, four. Hey.

Whoa, whoa, Nellie, whoa. There we go.

- Where are we going?

- I'm going to take you out front.

You have to be out

where people can see you.

- Okay.

- Now, I'm going to

have to put you in the front of the car.

That suit is not going to fit in the back.

- Is that your dog?

- Yeah, that is my dog.

We will get to know each other on the drive.

Get into the car.

- Okay. You okay?

- Yeah.

All right, here we go.

Don't give any flyers to a**holes

who don't look serious.

I don't want to be up all fricking night

Xeroxing a whole big bunch more.

Okay, here we go.

This is good. This is fine.

- Okay, got the door.

- Okay, but...

I have you, come on. It is real simple.

Here we go. Here we go.

Now, if it is too slow out here today,

- we will move you further out tomorrow.

- But...

Okay. Wait, you don't want to forget these.

No point in being out here

if you don't have these. Here you go.

- Okay, but...

- Okay.

- Here, just hang on to them.

- I don't have any hands.

Oh, for Christ sake!

There you go. There you go.

Now you are good. You are fine.

Okay. Now if you need me...

Oh sh*t! My dog is puking.

- Well, if you need me, just call me.

- I don't have a cell phone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You need a ride back at the end of the day?

- Yes.

All right, I'll come back and get you. Jesus.

Bastards!

You Blunexion a**holes!

You steal my practice! You ruined my life!

How could you do this to me?

Give me back my life savings!

A**hole!

Flyer. Flyer.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Help!

What the hell is that?

What is that?

- What is up buddy, what are you doing?

- I'm working.

Are you guys interested in

renting some office space?

You are renting parts of this field

as office space?

Oh, no. No, no, it is...

It is a building down the road. I mean,

I don't know if you can see it from here.

God damn, this is trippy.

It is back over there,

and if you're interested, that would be great.

Hey, you hot in there, man?

It is like mad hot today.

- Yes.

- You want something to drink?

Oh sure. That would be great. Thanks.

Jay, give me one of those brews.

- Dude.

- That echoed.

Here, hold out your hands.

Here, hold on. There you go.

Squeeze it, man.

- Can you feel that?

- Yeah.

- Good luck, man.

- Okay.

- Good luck, bro.

- Thanks guys. See you later.

Bye. Thanks for the beer.

I will be here hanging out.

So, how was it?

What are they having you do?

Hey!

What the hell are you doing?

- How do you know it was him?

- How do I know it was him?

Who else would it be?

Oh, and you should have seen today.

He was totally checking me out again.

But he can't make a move, because

data streaming is a very small community.

And everybody would know.

But he was checking me out.

So I just went up to him,

"We should have lunch sometime".

Just like that. Totally casual.

You should have seen him.

Oh, he will call. He will. I know he will.

He is such a catch.

Oh my God, is that a deer?

So, it's like you live nearby.

And you could, like, get in your car

and drive to the office.

And you have some office space.

And then come in every day.

Office space for rent.

Are you alive?

What do we do?

You are going to be okay.

We can't call your mom. No, you are okay.

You know, it is not like he can ask me out

even if he totally wants to.

Which he does. Trust me.

You look kind of strange today.

Kind of greenish, are you okay?

Because I don't want to get sick.

Listen, can I ask you a question?

Are you a clown?

What? What do you mean? No.

But do you do children's parties?

I don't know.

Well, as you can see,

I have a bunch of kids who love you.

They will only let me drive them home

on this road just to see you.

Anyway, we are having a party

at our house this weekend.

So, I was wondering if you are available?

- Yeah. But I don't...

- $50.

- Oh, I mean...

- $75.

It's not that I... No, you don't have to.

$100. Final offer, okay?

The ponies are ridiculous.

You know what, let me get you my card.

Actually can you put it in my hand?

My real hand.

Oh, really? Okay.

- Thanks.

- Call me. If you are not interested.

- In fact call me, either way, will you?

- Sure.

- Hey, sorry do you know what time it is?

- 6:
27.

Really? Because my ride

was supposed to be here at 5:45.

- Talk to you soon.

- Okay. Bye.

Hello? Hello!

Hello?

Great.

Hello?

- What was that?

- I don't know.

Hello?

/Coalition forces there

/have recovered two bodies.

/We are going now to APN's Leslie Newton

/who has covered this story in Baghdad.

/And Leslie, could you describe

/the scale of the search

/for these two men

/over the last several days?

/About eight thousand American forces,

/as well as Iraqi security forces

/are involved in this huge effort

/to try and find the men from there, about

/fifteen minutes after the attack took place.

I am going to kill you.

/And now, Leslie, we are told

/their bodies have been located.

/Which leaves us with many questions.

/Some of which you may be

/able to answer today.

/And some of which you may not.

/Who took them?

/How were they treated? Were they tortured?

/What condition were they in

/when they were found?

/Where are the bodies now? And have

/the families of the soldiers been notified?

- I want ice cream!

- You have had enough sugar today.

No I haven't!

Whoa.

Would you like to try

our delicious new fat free Gouda?

Would you like to try

our delicious new fat free Gouda?

Yeah!

Listen, will you run in there and get some

plastic wrap and sandwich bags?

Okay. What are you guys going to do?

- We are going to get our faces painted.

- Okay, over there?

- Yeah.

- All right. I'll go in, buy the stuff

and meet you back right there

in two minutes.

I'll be right back.

All right, come on you guys, let us go.

All right, don't step in it.

Sandwich... Sandwich... Sandwich bags.

Oh, excuse me. Could you reach

a few boxes of that tin foil for me?

Yes. Here you go.

Thank you very much.

Hi.

That will be $8.09.

I don't have any money with me.

Can I just run outside,

and I'll be right back?

You want to just take it?

What? No.

It is okay, our inventory system

is totally screwed up.

- No.

- Hey, you want some watermelon?

Not that bruised. Pretty tasty.

No. I'll just... My sister-in-law...

I'll be right back.

And where do you think you are going?

Get your butt back out there.

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