Kabluey Page #4

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Oh, you think that is funny?

Okay then, why don't you take second shift

inside Mr. Fromage?

What? Oh, come on Frank. No!

Hey, I need some money for the stuff.

It is in my purse, behind me.

Wait.

Here.

Okay. Thanks. I'll be right back.

God damn. Well, what in the hell

is the service pump?

- Hey, Kathleen?

- What?

Oh, it is you. What do you want?

Are you working today?

Crap, I didn't make any new flyers.

I'll tell you what, just go out anyway.

Just make yourself known.

Do you know anything about electricity?

Actually, I'm not working today.

I just wanted to know

if I could borrow the suit for a few hours.

Borrow the what?

Sorry!

Jesus Christ, relax, b*tch.

Now what did you say?

Can you borrow the what?

The suit. I want to borrow it, briefly.

- For what?

- Well there is this party.

And this woman will pay me to be there

and entertain, in the suit.

You are not going to get jizz on it, are you?

What? Oh, no.

Is this one of those plushy things?

Because I don't know about that.

I mean, unless you want to pay

for the dry cleaning. No. Even then, no.

No, it is just a kid's birthday party.

I'll just be there for like an hour.

I could use the money. And I just thought

I'd ask before I took the suit.

- Just bring it back in one piece.

- Okay.

- And clean... Bring it back clean.

- Okay.

Clean.

Sh*t.

Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't realize

this was a changing room.

Oh. Hello.

- Are you working here?

- Today I am. We are catering this.

- What are you doing?

- I'm the entertainment for the kids.

Just like John Wayne Gacy.

No, I'm just getting paid

to be here for the party.

Look, can you do my zipper

and help me with the head?

I can't get in and out of this thing by myself.

All right everybody, I have a big surprise.

Have a seat. Have a seat.

Are you ready? Ready? Here we go.

Yay!

Come on, let us take this outside.

And my dad, he is on a boat

and he went to the desert.

And there are tanks.

And he can blow up stuff if he wants to.

He can do stuff,

like he can blow up cactuses.

Hey! A pony!

I heard about the accident.

No, I didn't invite them.

Apparently, the neighbors

have some sort of restraining order.

No, it is a lovely party, really.

I just have to get ahold of my locations.

Great work.

Can you stay until after the ponies go?

Here, have a piece of cake.

And don't let me forget to pay you.

Boo-freaking-hoo, I feel so sorry for you

because you have eight zillion dollars

and your company went under.

I mean, I'm just not that sympathetic to him.

I'm good. I'm better. I have been running.

Like twenty five miles a day.

I can probably do a triathlon.

Believe me, I heard it firsthand.

Well, you know, I know it for a fact.

He has been gone forever,

these things happen.

That poor guy.

When does he come home from Iraq?

Well, it was supposed to be

a few months ago.

But you know,

they extended everybody over there.

I saw that graph in "USA Today".

- Oh yeah.

- So terrible.

Do you think he has any idea?

Tell me, tell me...

What I heard was that they have probably

been together the whole time.

Even before he left.

Liz says she is going to leave him for Brad,

her boss. Can you believe that?

If she was smart she would leave him

before what's- his-name gets back from Iran.

- Iraq.

- Oh, whatever.

- And they have two kids, right?

- Yes.

- Oh, Rita! Hi! How are you?

- Oh, my God.

She just turned to him and said,

"I want out of the marriage".

I just don't enjoy myself anymore,

you know?

I can't even answer the phone.

I just sit there in the darkness.

- I need a drink.

- Okay.

What do I do?

Nice seeing you guys. Bye-bye, buddy.

Jamie. Good to see you.

- I wonder where their mother is?

- Oh, where do you think?

Are you going to drive them home?

Please. I'm sure John will, eventually.

You think I can call them a cab?

- Is that inappropriate?

- Oh my gosh, a key.

- You are so bad.

- No, me? Please.

I mean seriously. Don't they have a nanny

or an au pair living with them?

Oh yeah, but have you seen him?

He is totally bizarre.

I can't handle it.

You have to hire good help.

- It is all about good help.

- Poor kids.

Damn it.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Come in.

You were inside there?

Yes.

That thing was you?

- Okay now, are you guys ready to go home?

- Yes.

Oh, hi. I'm here to pick up

Cameron and Lincoln.

- And you are?

- Their uncle.

Right. Well, I don't know where they are.

- Oh, here they are now.

- Here you go.

- Coincidence.

- The head didn't fit in the trunk.

- So I just stuffed it under the seat.

- Okay.

Okay. So, thanks. That is all. Thank you.

Oh. And also, Barbara,

the woman with the thing.

She thinks that you have gained

a lot of weight.

But I think that, that is just because

she was talking to Nancy.

Who says that Jane is sleeping

with your husband.

And you don't know about it. Okay, thanks.

What?

- Hi, Leslie.

- Hi.

Oh... Oh, the party is over.

I know, I'm sorry. How are you? Hi.

- Hi, Leslie. How are you?

- Good.

So, I just came to get the kids.

Are they playing?

Oh, no, no. They are gone.

- That Salamander...

- Salman.

Whatever his name is.

He came to pick them up.

I thought you knew.

I thought you knew.

No, I did. I did. I just wasn't sure.

All right. Well do you want to stay

and have a glass of wine or chai?

I have to get going.

But thanks anyway.

- Say hi to Harold for me, Beth, okay?

- I will.

- Bye, Betty. Thanks a lot.

- Rain check, okay.

- Okay. Bye.

- Bye.

Okay. The fire engine light is on.

And let us see,

we have the curtains half way open.

The teeth are mostly brushed.

And your story book is right here.

I'm not going to read it.

Your mom will do that when she gets here.

I think that is it. So we are ready for bed.

Time for bed.

What are you doing? What is going on?

- We have a question.

- Okay. What is it?

Can you fly?

No.

Well, can you shoot lasers out of your eyes?

What? No.

Melt him. Melt him with your eyes.

Quick before Mommy gets home.

Hey, hey. Hey. No.

I'm not a bad guy.

I'm for good. I'm a good guy.

You are here to protect us?

Yes.

And mom?

Yes. For now.

Here, read us our story.

Okay.

- No, you.

- Let's cover you up here.

Hello? Salman? Hello?

Oh, there they are. Okay.

- Peppie tonight?

- No, no. Here we go, let us put him in there.

I got to the party a little late

to pick them up.

And they were gone.

- No, I got them.

- Well, I figured.

- Yeah.

- Thanks.

- Okay, here you go.

- You go to bed.

I'm going to go to bed.

Do you have their book? The story book?

Yeah. We did that.

Okay, okay. Good night. Good night.

- You.

- Okay, you go to sleep.

And this goes right here.

Okay. Now, which night light?

Anubis, Egyptian jackal god,

or melted football shape?

- Melted football shape.

- Egyptian.

Yeah so, they are asleep now.

And you know I have Wednesday off.

So I thought maybe

I could take them to the zoo. On Wednesday.

I think they would like that.

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