Kangaroo Jack Page #7

Charlie!

Grab that rope. Grab that rope!

Charlie!

Grab the belt, Louis.

I can't reach it, Charlie!

Grab the damn belt!

It's now or never, Louis!

- Pull me up!

- Louis.

You have really got to cut back on the pie!

Don't you let me go, Charlie!

Don't you let me go!

Go, go, go! Up, up!

Pull, Jessie. A little more!

Come on, Louis!

Jessie, a little more!

Come on!

Charlie! I'm slipping!

I'm gonna name my first son after you.

"Crazy-Ass White Boy."

Let go of me!

Let go of me!

This is from Sal Maggio.

Frankie, we got the money back.

We got it back!

We got it!

You don't get it, do you, Charlie?

Sal's not disappointed because

he cares about the money.

He's disappointed because

you two aren't dead!

What do you think he was paying

Smith 50 grand for?

We traveled halfway across the world

to pay for our own execution?

Yeah, you two guys were

the bagmen for your own hit.

Pretty clever.

Not on our part.

Say good night.

This is Senior Sergeant

Jimmy Inkamala, Australian Police.

- Mr. Jimmy?

- Drop your weapon and...

Hey, Frankie! Go long!

- I am bolo man.

- That's what I'm talking about.

Yes, Mr. Smith was one of our

most notorious contract killers.

We got a tip from the FBI that he was

involved with the Maggio family.

Yeah, and when Frankie Lombardo called

looking for a guide, I was waiting.

I'm just glad I made it in time.

You pansy-ass retards are dead!

You hear me? Dead!

I'll slaughter you like veal!

I'll wear your eyeballs like jewelry!

I've always found the Brooklyn

vernacular fascinating.

Quite colorful, really.

Hey, Frankie?

Can I have your Yankees tickets?

There you are! They were full.

They're radioing Alice Springs

to send another chopper for us.

What's up, man?

Charlie.

Something really important

happened here today.

You saved my life.

- Yeah, I know. So now we're even.

- Exactly.

You don't owe me anymore.

You're rid of me.

What are you talking about,

I'm rid of you?

Come on, Charlie, guilt was the glue

that held this friendship together.

- You never needed me.

- You're wrong, Louis.

I've always needed you.

You know when you call me up,

and you're, like:

"Yo, Charlie, you gotta help me drive

some greyhounds up from Florida."

And I make out like I'm doing you

this big favor?

Truth is, you're doing me the favor.

Every story in my life worth telling

starts with the words Louis and I.

Come on, get away from me

with that, man.

You think we're friends

because you saved my life once?

You save my life every day, Louis.

Come on, man.

Guys?

Can you hold on a second?

We're having a very intimate,

non-gay moment.

Take a look.

- What are you doing?

- Hello, Jackie Legs.

Here you go, boy. Here you go. Yeah.

That's a boy.

Good boy. Here you are.

Hey, there, little guy. Yeah.

There you go.

It's okay. It's okay.

Let me just grab this.

There you are. Good boy.

There you go.

So long, Jackie Legs.

Hey, would you look at that?

- Louis, your lucky jacket.

- I don't think so!

Hear me out. If you hadn't

put the money in the jacket...

...and the jacket on the kangaroo...

...we would've delivered the money

to Smith and he would've killed us.

Your lucky jacket.

Gimme my jacket! I told you. Didn't I

tell you this was my lucky jacket?

Look, Louis, he's back.

And he's got a family.

Hey, you must be Jackie Junior.

You're a cute little guy, aren't you?

Oh, my God! Are you all right?!

So, that's my story.

Well, not quite.

Frankie and his goons

were put away for good.

As for Sal, he used all his high- level

connections to avoid going to prison.

And you know what?

It wasn't enough.

Jessie? She ended up marrying

some filthy- rich tycoon.

Hey, honey.

Hi, honey.

Yep, the filthy- rich dude, that's me.

Louis and I used the 50 grand

as startup money.

And now Snakeskin Lily Berry

Shampoo...

... is the biggest thing

since Vidal Sassoon.

Got the latest numbers in from Europe.

Think you'll like them.

I love numbers.

Hey, partner? I got the new numbers.

Partner? Partner?

Look out below!

- Louis!

- Just trying my newest idea:

Waterproof mousse! How do you like it?

So that's me, Charlie Carbone.

The one with the beautiful girl,

all the money I could ever want...

... and my best friend Louis...

... who saved my life more times

than he'll ever know.

Wait a minute!

The movie is called Kangaroo Jack!

It should end with me!

I'm a serious,

classically trained actor!

I can sing, I can dance and I can jump

out of the way of explosions.

Yeah, no, that gonna leave a mark.

And I can do impersonations.

Come on, people.

Throw me a freaking bone.

I have a son.

I shall call him Mini-Roo.

Now, that should be the way you

end a film. With the star.

Someone call my agent!

That's all, blokes!

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