Kapgang Page #3

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We pour vodka on... the sauna

and that kind of stuff.

You're too young, of course.

Bon apptit.

Say hi to your dad.

I want to talk to you, boys.

Your mom handled your upbringing.

I don't know the first thing about it.

So I thought...

You're big boys now.

Let's agree

that we're three adults now -

- and we'll look after ourselves

from now on, all three of us.

You're getting off easy.

You keep saying

you want to make your own decisions.

You don't even feed us properly!

But you love fast food.

Yes, and Jens...

It's time you took off those glasses.

That's for me to decide,

because I'm an adult now, right?

Yes.

- What if...

- Stop defending him, Martin.

- We could take turns in cooking.

- I can't cook, and neither can you.

- I have cooking class at school.

- No...

We could buy frozen dinners

and heat them.

I hear there are some

really good ones on the market.

Jens...

Dad...

What are you going to do with them?

I'm going to burn them

on the heap of stones.

I can't keep them.

You could give them

to the amateur theater at the inn.

No, then Frede the paramedic

and Mona the hairdresser-

- would goof around

in Mom's clothes.

Are you going to do it yourself?

I daren't ask Jens to.

I'll do it.

Then I'll buy you a beer

after your confirmation.

So, are you going out?

She owes me a kiss.

We could go to Pelli's.

Ever been there before?

Your mom just died.

I'm game.

- Okay, let's do it.

- Coming? It was your idea.

Let's go.

Hi, Jan.

Kim?

- Massage.

- Alright already.

Hi, Martin.

You've never been round here before.

Hi.

I was sorry to hear

about your mom's death. She...

- She was a very beautiful woman.

- Thanks.

You'd have liked some of that,

huh, Pelli?

No.

Anyway, she's dead.

- So, Jan, you want a massage?

- Don't spit.

- I'm not.

- You're drooling over Martin's mom.

- Creep!

- Don't, Jan.

- Sit your asses down.

- Yes, do.

There are lots of mags.

So you want a massage, Jan?

A little massage, huh, Jan?

Kinky, huh?

My mom saw your dad

at Mona the hairdresser's.

When he left,

Mona went around in panties.

He fixed her fridge.

- I heard my parents talking about it.

- Whispering like girls!

She's horny. You can tell

from her hard nipples.

So, Martin,

want me to pudwhack you?

No, Jan!

What are you doing?

- Don't... Be careful...

- Let go of me!

- You two in love? Like two pussies?

- Stop it!

- Come on, Kim.

- Stop it!

- No, Kim!

- He's thinking about Kristine Hjort.

- Kristine Hjort's tits.

- Her wet p*ssy.

- He's got a boner! Too much for you?

- Now... don't. Be careful.

- I mean it! Stop!

- What the f*** is this?

Give me that.

- Let go of Martin.

- Are you bossing me around?

- Ordering me around?

- No, no.

- Want me to pudwhack you?

- No, not that, Jan.

Wait...

No pudwhacking.

- He doesn't like it!

- You bet your ass he does!

- Yes, yes...

- Gross!

Martin, get a paper towel.

Get a paper towel.

So, do you want

to come back some time?

See you.

It was your idea to go.

- Now you know what pudwhacking is.

- Yeah, thanks.

Have you ever been in love?

With more than one at the same time?

You can only be in love

with one at a time.

Let's do that thing again.

- I can't anymore today.

- Come on.

Go to Kristine Hjort's. Catch her

before she starts masturbating in bed.

- That looks good.

- Do you take milk?

Was it tough to get rid of the clothes?

Kim and Long Jan helped.

You're pretty.

You're the only one who's never

teased me with my braces.

Sorry, but have you puked?

Not really.

Because of your mom?

I have to go to the bathroom.

- Ever seen birth-control pills before?

- Are they yours?

No, they're Nina's.

Diaphragms are a nuisance,

coils hurt and boys hate rubbers.

And the pill makes you fat.

Yeah well,

it's not an issue yet.

Want me to rape you?

Silly boy.

- Want me to pudwhack you?

- What's that?

How about a pudwhacking?

Hey, you're ticklish.

Ticklish, huh?

Kiss me.

Gently, Martin.

Mit Gefhl.

- Are you my girlfriend now?

- You move too fast.

Kim says my dad is seeing

Mona the hairdresser.

Kim shoots his mouth off.

If I hear something,

will you go spying with me?

Maybe they're just friends.

See you.

Bye, boyfriend.

Did you screw?

Tell me when you have.

Tell me!

Hello, class.

Sit down, back there.

The school calls me Miss Friis,

but you can call me Helle.

I will be substituting

for Mrs. Simonsen.

She has had a healthy boy.

Isn't new life great?

I moved here from Viborg,

and I live opposite the electric store.

Your dad can take her

instead of Mona the hairdresser.

Would you like to share that with

the rest of us? What's your name?

Kim.

I just told Martin

that you're neighbors.

- Hi, Kim. Hi, neighbor.

- Hi.

Lizzie is my friend,

so I've heard all about you, Martin.

Are you done soon?

Who did that?

Who took Mom's stuff?

I did.

- Don't do it without telling me.

- Dad told me to.

- Did you want Mom's old perfume?

- I wanted to do it with you.

I'll go get her clothes then.

What the f***?

Did you do that too?

- Did you?

- I burnt them.

You didn't think

I might want to do it with you?

- But Dad said...

- But Dad...! Is that all you can say?

- Stop!

- Jens, stop that!

- Get out!

- Jens, calm down.

- This won't do.

- Get out!

Jens, calm down.

Get out!

Get out.

Come on.

Come on, Jens.

Take this, Jens.

It's Mom's, and it will make you sleep.

Drink some water.

There.

Sleep tight, Jens.

Good night.

- Get on.

- You took your brother's moped?

He isn't home.

The car's here.

- Let's go home.

- Scared, Kristine?

Kristine, I'll go first. In case

they're doing something really gross.

Martin...

If you call that screwing,

I'd rather not.

What else do you want to call it?

- Martin, you saw he was inside her.

- Yes.

Martin's dad isn't screwing.

He's just unhappy.

- You can screw and be unhappy.

- Shut up, Kim.

Anyway, screwing is a nasty word.

It's called doing it.

When are the two of you

going to do it?

- Oh, shut up.

- It's none of your business, Kim.

How about you, boys?

When are you going to do it?

Funny, huh?

I think I'm right

about what Martin's dad is doing.

He's being consoled.

If that means taking your pants off,

you can console me anytime, Kristine.

It's time you slept upstairs again,

Hans. You'll get ill down here.

I know. Martin keeps telling me, too.

He even made my bed.

- I went to see Mona again last night.

- Oh no, Hans.

I know I shouldn't,

but I can't help myself.

Men need their p*ssy

in bad times as well as good.

- What's wrong?

- I sat on the sauna heater last night.

It burns.

Half my ass is bacon. Look.

Rolf will throw a fit

when he comes home to that ass.

Christ, Lizzie.

As long as you can laugh at other

people's misery, it's not all bad.

Did you know men need their p*ssy

in bad times as well as good?

- Who says that?

- Lizzie.

Are you going to do something

about Mona the hairdresser?

I don't know.

You haven't got the guts.

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