Kate & Leopold Page #6

Isn't Willem Dafoe

part of that group?

Yeah, and he did this monologue

about how

all the best things in life are

hidden in people's basements.

Like the Louvre.

I'm sorry.

You were saying, Charles?

Just...

No, what about the Louvre?

Tell us what you

were going to say.

Well, only a fraction of

the Louvre is on the walls.

The rest is in

the basement.

You've been in the basement

of the Louvre?

Oh, yes.

I was an art history major

at Vassar.

Ah.

And so,

what's down there?

Well, that's where

the real show begins.

Unspoiled by dilettante.

da Vinci, Michelangelo,

David, Chardin.

"Allow me to assist you,

Patrice.

"Oh, let me light that

for you, Monica.

"What, this?

"This is my family crest.

"Been in the family for...

Oh, in the basement?

"What do they have

in the basement?

"Why, the works of da Vinci

"Michelangelo,

Chardin, David

all surrounded by great coral

sponges to absorb the moisture."

Just for the record,

I was working it.

I was in the zone

and I would have

gotten her number

if you hadn't turned

the evening

into a guided tour

of the Louvre.

My apologies.

Let's get

one thing straight.

Patrice, she thought

you were cute--

probably gay and cute.

And cute, Leo,

that's the kiss of death.

-Perhaps.

-Perhaps? Certainly.

I believe this

is her number.

As I see it, Patrice has not

an inkling of your affections.

And it's no wonder.

You, Charles,

are a merry-andrew.

A what?

Everything plays

a farce to you.

Women respond

to sincerity.

This requires pulling one's

tongue from one's cheek.

No one wants to be

romanced by a buffoon.

Now, that number rings her.

-Yes.

-So ring her tomorrow.

I can't. She gave

the number to you.

Only because I told her

of your affections.

Wha-What did you say?

Merely that

you admired her

but you were hesitant

to make an overture

since you'd been told

she was courting another.

Sh*t. That's good!

Wha-What did she say?

She handed me the napkin.

Charles, it's quite late.

No, no, no,

she won't be home yet.

I get her machine,

I leave a message

ball's in her court.

You're ladling calculation

upon comedy.

The point is,

to keep the ball in your court.

You're right. You're right.

Okay.

Nothing need be done

till tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Then I make my move.

An overture, Charles.

Make your intentions known.

Think of pleasing her,

not vexing her.

No vexing.

You're intoxicated.

We should retire.

I'm sure Kate

will be home.

I doubt it.

But it's nearly midnight.

You like her, don't you?

-Who?

-Kate.

-You do!

-Oh, Charles, stop.

You like my sister!

Well, you made your

intentions known, right?

-Right?

-You've been drinking.

Leo, Commune...

right around the corner.

We could stop in, you could

give me a couple of pointers

pull out a chair or two--

you could throw out a

gesture here or there.

Yeah, see, it's one

thing with Patrice.

You don't give a sh*t.

It's a whole other

ball of wax

when it's a girl

you like, huh?

Yeah, who's the

merry-andrew now?

You want to vex

my sister!

I have to confess

that I'm a little bit confused.

Um...

No. Thank you.

When you asked me

to dinner tonight

I was under

the impression

that we were here

to discuss...

The merger.

Yes. Right. Yes.

And a possible promotion.

Yes.

Yes, that, too.

And, well, dinner

is winding down

and we haven't

really discussed

anything even

remotely relevant

to what I thought

we came here to...

I don't believe I've ever

seen you this flustered, Kate.

You haven't even kissed me yet.

Yeah.

Right. Well...

I like you, J.J., I do.

I like you quite a bit.

Um, as a matter of fact

I think you would agree

that a working...

a successful

working relationship

requires a great deal of...

What exactly is our

working relationship?

Kate...

Hi, Kate!

Hi, Charlie.

Well...

what are you doing here?

We just thought

we'd come by

-to say hi.

-Kate.

-J.J., right?

-Right.

Might I have a word with you?

-Now?

-In private.

No! No.

J.J.:

Mr. Margarine.

Please... please join us.

And where did you say it is?

-In Sussex.

-Near Ballmour.

-Yes.

-Built in the 18th century.

Early 18th century.

Really? Are you quite sure?

Yes.

He's got pictures, Leopold.

Perhaps you were swindled,

because I can assure you

as of the late

there's nothing

but farmland near Ballmour.

-You're mistaken.

-That's not possible.

Well, it's quite possible,

Leopold, that you are mistaken.

No, it is not.

...the only manor house

in the county.

I know because

I grew up there.

Leopold, it wasn't...

Leo, do you enjoy opera?

-I do. And do you?

-Oh, yes.

It keeps... keeps me alive.

Do you have a favourite?

Boheme. La Boheme.

- La Boheme.

-I've seen it 12 times.

That's... that's how

I learned to speak French.

You speak French?

Fluently.

Oh.

Ah. Que ton visage

est doux

entoure par la lumiere

de la lune.

What did he say?

"How sweet your face looks

gently encircled

by the soft moonlight."

Oh, I like that.

From the opening scene

of Boheme.

A stunning duet.

Andre sings it to Mimi.

Andre...

I invited Kate

to the Met next week.

She's never been.

Patrone is singing Andre,

and she turned me down.

Can you explain that, Leopold?

Well... La Boheme is one

of man's great achievements

and should not be missed.

But perhaps Kate resists

on moral grounds.

How so?

Should we get the check?

Well, some feel that

to court a woman in one's employ

is nothing more than

a serpentine effort

to transform a lady to a whore.

Oh.

J.J.

This guy's charming, Kate.

The Duke of Margarine

thinks me a serpent.

No, he doesn't.

No, not a serpent.

That's too grand a word.

Simply a braggart and a cad

who knows less French than l,

if that's possible.

And by the way

there's no Andre in

Boheme-- it's Rudolfo.

And though it takes place

in France

it's rarely played in French,

as it is written in Italian.

Good night.

Sorry.

Kate, might I have

a word?

-Morning.

-Hi.

-You want some coffee?

-No, thanks.

You want to read...

you want to read your paper?

No, thank you, Charlie.

I want to go to work

and try and clean up

this mess you made.

You sure you don't...

Uh...

Kate...

Uh, Kate!

-What?

-l-I just thought

maybe you'd want a-a kiwi

for-for-for the subway.

That's a papaya, Charlie.

Oh.

You're right. Okay.

BOB:

But while using the product

too soft to be...

effective.

This, of course, presents

a conundrum for us marketeers.

How do we maintain a soft feel

on the exterior

of a plastic wrap or pack

while retaining

the useful tensile strength

in the sheets?

Now, I'm going to suggest

to the Summer Soft people

to scale back to a limited

release of the product

in the mid-Atlantic states,

where we can refine the product

on the basis of extensive...

Dearest Katherine...

I behaved as an imbecile

last night

animated in part by drink,

in part by your beauty

and in part

by my own foolish pride.

And for that

I am profoundly sorry.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes