Kate and Leopold Page #12

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KATE:

That's simplicity in it's purest

form. It speaks volumes in it's

nothingness. Whiteness representing

emptiness. Hopelessness. It's bleak.

Bleak!

Leopold eyes the painting skeptically. They move to the next

object d'art. A toilet.

LEOPOLD:

Aaand this represents...?

They burst into giddy laughter.

KATE:

Absolutely nothing.

They round the corner, moving to the next room. Leopold's

smile fades.

CLOSE UP:
A painting of privileged Victorian society.

Shaken, he gazes at a painting in a dream-like state.

LEOPOLD:

(very quietly)

I'd almost forgotten how beautiful

it was. Truly. Beautiful.

Kate smiles sadly at Leopold. They slowly walk out.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

We hear keys in the lock and laughter outside as Kate and

Leopold enter.

LEOPOLD:

(laughing)

M & M's, CBS, FBI.

KATE:

VIP, VHS, VCR.

They collapse on the couch.

LEOPOLD:

Ah, JFK, PDQ, XYZ.

KATE:

I don't know. K.D. Lang.

LEOPOLD:

I don't know how you keep up with

it. I'm exhausted.

KATE:

So am I.

LEOPOLD:

I'll tell you what. Why don't I

prepare dinner tomorrow night? I

never have before. I mean even before

I hit town. "Hit town" How's that? I

can't imagine what it'll taste like,

but I don't think it will be any

worse than your cooking.

KATE:

Leopold, I have a date tomorrow night.

LEOPOLD:

I see.

KATE:

A blind date.

LEOPOLD:

Oh, I'm so sorry.

KATE:

No, that just means I haven't met

him before. It was set up through

friends.

LEOPOLD:

Ah!

KATE:

A hazard of single life... I'm turning

in.

Kate gets up. Leopold automatically stands.

LEOPOLD:

Another time then.

KATE:

I'm sorry.

LEOPOLD:

It's quite all right.

As she gets to the door, she stops.

KATE:

Leopold? I had a wonderful time today.

I can't remember the last time I

took the day off and just played.

I'd forgotten how beautiful this

city can be... I want to thank you

for that.

LEOPOLD:

The pleasure was mine.

Kate smiles at Leopold and goes out.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Charlie, in a tie, is standing with Leopold at the dining

room table. Kate wearing too much makeup for her date, runs

into the bathroom in a BRIGHT RED DRESS.

CHARLIE:

It's a very fancy restaurant, Leopold.

Are you sure you can teach me

everything there is to know?

KATE:

(from the bathroom)

Just don't swipe the silverware and

give yourself away.

CHARLIE:

Nobody's talking to you.

LEOPOLD:

It is very simple. I will be your

date. Just behave as you normally

would and I'll correct you along the

way. Now, escort me in.

Charlie and Leopold move across the room. After a beat,

Charlie magnanimously gestures for Leopold to go first.

Leopold gives his approval. Kate rushes out of the bathroom

in a tight BLACK dress.

Leopold and Charlie elegantly walk to the table. Charlie

sits down, pleased. Leopold remains standing, incensed.

CHARLIE:

Now what?

Leopold takes a cloth napkin, hits Charlie upside the head.

Hard.

LEOPOLD:

Pull the chair for a lady! Clod.

KATE (V.O.)

No name calling.

LEOPOLD:

(to Kate)

Well, really!

Charlie stands up and pulls out the chair. As Leopold sits,

Charlie pushes the chair in to hard.

LEOPOLD:

You're not shoveling coal into a

furnace, Charles. Glide the chair in

gently. Gently. Try it again.

Charlie gently glides Leopold to the table. He remains

standing, not sure what to do next.

LEOPOLD:

Well, sit down!

CHARLIE:

Now don't burst a vein or anything,

but there are quite a few knives and

forks here. How do I know what each

one's for?

LEOPOLD:

Merely start from the outside and

work your way in.

CHARLIE:

What kind of beer should I order?

LEOPOLD:

Beer!

CHARLIE:

I WAS KIDDING!

KATE:

How do I look?

Leopold and Charlie stand. Kate poses in the gown picked out

by Leopold. Leopold smiles brightly.

LEOPOLD:

You look exquisite, Katherine.

KATE:

(almost sadly)

Thank you, Leopold.

She looks at Leopold not knowing what to say. Finally

CHARLIE:

This is a tie I'm wearing.

KATE:

You look very nice, Charlie.

CHARLIE:

Yes. I know.

The doorbell rings.

KATE:

That must be him.

LEOPOLD:

Your bland date?

KATE:

Blind date.

CHARLIE:

Remember to breathe, Kate. And don't

use to many big words. You'll scare

the poor slob away.

KATE:

(moving to the door)

This is always the scary part.

(she sings)

"Open the door to my, Mystery Date."

She opens the door and looks straight up. Leopold and Charlie

peer in closer to get a better look. In the doorway stands

LARRY, great looking, very tall, a winner.

LARRY:

Hi. Kate?

KATE:

Larry?

Kate turns back to the others with a frozen smile.

KATE:

Well, I'm off.

LEOPOLD:

(giving Larry the

once over)

Kate, may I have a word with you?

KATE:

Now?

LEOPOLD:

Yes.

(as they cross the

room)

I DON'T like the look of him.

KATE:

What are you talking about?

LEOPOLD:

Cad. I can spot one a mile away.

(he helps her with

her coat)

I shall escort you out myself. I

will act as your chaperone.

KATE:

That isn't necessary. I'll be fine.

LEOPOLD:

It is no trouble.

KATE:

Goodnight, Leopold.

LEOPOLD:

But...

KATE:

Goodnight.

She is gone. Leopold stares after her, dejected.

INT. SPORTS BAR - NIGHT

Kate and Larry are led to their table. Larry sits down. Kate

remains standing.

LARRY:

(friendly)

Sit down.

KATE:

(sighs)

Thank you.

(she sits)

LARRY:

So. How am I doing?

KATE:

I beg your pardon?

LARRY:

How am I doing? First date. You

pleased? You disappointed?

KATE:

Undecided.

LARRY:

I see.

He snaps his fingers to get the waiters attention startling

Kate. She laughs nervously.

LARRY:

So. What did Jeannie say about me?

KATE:

About you? Ah, she said you were

tall.

LARRY:

6'3.

KATE:

And nice looking.

LARRY:

Thank you.

KATE:

Thank her. And that you persevere

ardently on Wall Street.

LARRY:

Well, I work there...

KATE:

(after a beat)

That must be very interesting.

LARRY:

(laughing)

You've obviously never worked on

Wall Street.

KATE:

(laughing along for

the hell of it)

No.

Their laughter subsides. After a beat:

LARRY:

What else did Jeannie say about me?

INT. THE FOUR SEASONS - NIGHT

The Maitre d' of this very fancy restaurant shows Charlie

and Patrice to their seats. Charlie motions Patrice to go

first just as Leopold has instructed.

The Maitre de pulls out Patrice's chair. Charlie gives him a

look to back off. Charlie effortlessly glides Patrice to the

table and takes his seat.

PATRICE:

Have I told you how much I liked

your painting?

CHARLIE:

(beaming)

Twice.

PATRICE:

If you get tired of hearing about

it, let me know. I have to admit I

was sort of surprised when you called.

I didn't think you liked me, Charlie.

CHARLIE:

When I first saw you, I thought...

(he makes his jaw

drop down to the

floor)

PATRICE:

What do you think now?

Charlie smiles and places her hand over his heart. Then he

makes his jaw drop again. Patrice laughs happily.

INT. SPORTS BAR - NIGHT

Kate and Larry are eating their dinner.

KATE:

Aaand that's about all Jeannie said.

What did Jeannie say about me?

LARRY:

(smiling)

She said you were enormously sexy,

had a great body, but you don't put

out.

KATE:

Quite a compelling portrait.

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