Katt Williams: Priceless: Afterlife

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He's the undisputed king

of underground comedy.

You've seen him

in "Friday After Next,"

"The Pimp Chronicles

One and Two,"

"It's Pimpin' Pimpin',"

"American Hustle,"

"Kattpacalypse,"

"Katt Williams:
Live,"

"Wild 'n Out," and more.

He shut down the Internet

single-handedly.

He's knocked out everyone

from 108 to 308 pounds.

He's back

and better than ever.

Ladies and gentlemen,

let's get ready

to chuckle!

Presenting Katt Williams!

This sh*t

is legendary

Trip like Jason Terry

P*ssy pink

as Katy Perry

This sh*t came

from nowhere

Drama,

please don't go there

P*ssy Michael Jordan

No hair,

bald, had no hair

Bandz a made her dance

20s will bring

her friends

Cities,

a change of plans

Boy, I came here

off Gramps

For a dollar, you'll do

all this for a dollar?

Play, make you think

she a scholar

Accent like

she super proper

Lick the swimming pool

Make her say,

"F*** all the rules"

Don't mind

if she get used

That poor nigga say,

"F*** school"

So I made

this foreign type

Aw, yeah,

now I'm so in tight

I said she married

to the moola

Show some

motherfucking rocks

Hallelujah

This sh*t legendary

Trip like Jason Terry

P*ssy pink

as Katy Perry

This sh*t came

from nowhere

Drama,

please don't go there

P*ssy Michael Jordan

No hair,

bald, had no hair.

Man:

You go, Katt!

Is the IE in this b*tch

this evening?

I had to get here,

'cause there's a lot

of sh*t going on,

not just in the world.

There's a lot of sh*t

going on with me.

I don't know

if you checked it out.

I was going through

some sh*t.

They arrested me five times

in five cities in five days.

What the f***?

B*tch,

I am not the international man of mystery.

What the f***?

They arrested me so much,

soon as I see the police,

my body just automatically

assumes the position.

Just...

See how I made

the hog-tie available?

'Cause they know

I like to fight.

It's f***ed up.

I got arrested in a Target.

How the f***

do you go to jail

in an electronics

superstore?

A white man at the Target

caught me off guard.

He called me a p*ssy

and a n*gger

and a p*ssy and a n*gger

and a p*ssy and a n*gger.

And I said, "I am not

fixing to be one of these."

Bam! "What the f***

did I just do?

What the f***?"

See, life has a way

of sometimes

sending you

subtle wake-up calls.

Anytime you are standing

next to Suge Knight

and you are the person

going to jail,

that is a wake-up call

for your ass.

I'm in the pictures

like this.

Get my sh*t together.

It's f***ed up.

I said to myself

I don't know

what the f***'s going on.

We going to have to figure

this sh*t out.

Used to be

if I had some problems,

I could go to my therapist

at the weed place.

Yeah, Ontario's still

got weed places.

Couple over here.

Couple over here.

Couple over here.

I was in LA.

Ain't no weed places in LA.

They got a dispensary.

I don't know what the f***

that sh*t means,

but I think it means

"big as f***."

You are just in that

motherf***er, just...

Why do I have

a shopping cart?

I'm just saying you are

not supposed to have

500 different types

of deliciousness

in the same place

at the same time.

Got niggas overdosing

from smelling too much weed.

"Mmm, that is blueberry.

That's blueberry for real.

That is fresh as sh*t

right there.

That... white fire?

I ain't never even smelled

real fire before.

That is delicious.

Girl Scout cookies?

I love them.

Do you have Thin Mints?"

It's f***ed up.

And I should have stayed

out there where it was safe

with the leafy products,

with the bud,

but they got a room

in the back.

That's right. They got

a "this sh*t right here, nigga,"

they got one of them rooms

in the back.

You got to be careful

in that motherf***er.

All they got back there

is concentrate,

spackle, sparkle,

wax, butter,

dabs, or whatever the f***

you want to call it.

You be thinking to yourself,

"Much motherfucking weed

as I done smoked,

I ain't scared of sh*t.

I don't give a f***

what type of

motherfucking weed it is."

That's what you be saying.

Then they come over

and put that little thing

on there and walk off,

and you be like, "That little

booger right there

can't hurt

no-motherfucking-body."

Don't you believe it.

It's like hitting 300 blunts

at the same damn time

at the same damn time.

I f***ed around

and got my high high.

Do you realize how difficult

that is to do?

You know when you done got

too motherfucking high.

You, "Uh-uh.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

Uh-uh.

Uh-uh. F*** that, nigga.

I got too high. Uh-uh.

F*** you. I saw where

the Illuminati live, nigga.

Get me the f*** up out

of here. Where's my car?"

F***ed up.

But no matter what the f***

was going on with me,

I couldn't be depressed.

We Americans.

If you motherfucking

watch the news,

America don't give a f***

about a tragedy.

We are the sh*t.

I'm not saying

we the greatest country

in the world...

Man:

Yes, we is!

...but we the greatest

country in the world,

and everybody knows it.

Not because we're better.

Not because of that.

Tragedy happens

to everybody.

But as Americans,

we don't give a f***

about tragedy.

Our motherfucking motto

should be,

"F*** outta here."

Soon as we get a tragedy,

we, "F*** outta here.

That's our sh*t.

F*** outta here.

That's..."

So proud of America.

First time we saw it

was the Oklahoma City

tornado.

I ain't never seen

no sh*t like that.

That changed

my motherfucking life.

I don't give a f***

what's going on.

It's your house.

Nothing is worse

than getting to your house

and your house

is not there anymore.

Your GPS keeps saying,

"You are here."

"Bullshit. I left

a house in this b*tch.

I remember that sh*t

specifically."

That's some f***ed-up sh*t.

How the f*** do that feel

for you to wake up

and your whole city be gone?

Like you done missed

the Rapture or some sh*t.

You just wake up to...

"Jesus, you couldn't

have woke a nigga up?"

It's f***ed up.

'Cause black people know

we ain't ready for that sh*t.

We just figured out

what to do

in case of eviction.

We just figured out

if the police show up,

act like they

on your side, just,

"Thank God

you showed up, Officer.

Could you hold

that microwave?

Thank you so much.

Kids, get on out of here

and let this officer

help us."

It don't matter,

though.

As America,

we too gangster.

We don't care.

America is

too motherfucking gangster.

And it don't take

a whole bunch of Americans

to represent America

neither.

It can be one white woman

in a field

by herself,

missing teeth...

and she can represent

America just fine.

They'll be

right in the field,

just, "Ma'am,

a tornado just came

and tore down

your whole city.

What are you going to do?"

"We going

to f***ing rebuild.

I was goddamn born here.

I'm going

to goddamn die here."

Some American sh*t.

Why is America that strong?

'Cause of all of us

that's in the room tonight.

Not because white people

are better

or Hispanics are better,

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