Katt Williams Live Page #9

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I'm stronger than the average man.

I'm twice the comedian

your favorite comedian probably is,

and that's 'cause I'm really twins.

You got the story right here at the foot

of historic Christ Hospital.

This is where it all happened.

I can remember this.

I was here since I was five months,

so, you know, the memories

are flooding in on me right now.

I believe I stood right here as a baby.

I think I fell right...

Hold on. Hold on. It's coming to me now.

If you look on that sign over there it says,

"Kennedy Plaza. Includes heat and water. "

So you know you're moving up.

When you come here,

you got heat and water from the beginning.

Then there's a sign over there that say,

"No trespassing,

except residents and guests. "

So unless you live here,

or are visiting, because...

Here come what?

Ladies and gentlemen, you will only see this

in a black neighborhood.

Hey, there. Hold on.

This is why black people don't buy dogs.

You ain't got to buy no dog.

You see the dog just walked up here?

It's a fine dog. Sit.

He's trained. Look at him, watch. Sit.

Yeah, he's sitting. See that?

This is a beautiful dog.

That's a premium shepherd.

- Look at that. Did he sit?

He did.

This is trained. This is why

black people don't have to buy dogs.

'Cause they will run up to you.

Let's... Are you hungry, by the way?

Yeah. Yeah, come on.

Let's find out where you belong.

Let's go. Never a dull moment in the hood.

Come on, boy.

Let's find out where you belong.

It's so sad.

Where you belong, huh?

Where you belong?

Anybody lose a dog?

We'll have to chain this dog to the fire hose,

to the fire department water-fountain thing.

There you go.

It's the best you can do.

What else am I supposed to do, hmm?

We're here live in Cincinnati.

We're getting ready to go to the place

that I lived when I was two years old.

Now, I could lie

and tell you I remember it, but I don't.

I remember didn't nobody ever feed me.

I was hungry all the time.

I was two years old, eating chili.

And it was spicy for a baby.

A baby is not supposed to eat chili.

But they fed me chili,

and that's how I grew up big and strong

right here on these streets.

So, we gonna walk around.

We gonna see what's out here.

Be very careful. Be very afraid.

We might see a pit bull, a German shepherd,

a crackhead. Ain't no telling

what we might find on these streets today.

We come here to play ball.

How did you get into the business?

It was in Tampa, Florida, and, um,

I was, like,

the only black guy in the whole town.

It was right outside of Tampa

in a place called Ruskin.

And so I just did five minutes talking about

me being the only member

of the black community.

That the whole black community was me.

And that people would drive by

and show their friends the black community.

So... But I only had five minutes,

and I only needed five minutes.

So it worked out well.

Well, there's only one way. I mean, you...

Obviously, you have to think

that you are funny going in,

but the audience is the judge.

It's not hard to become a comedian at all.

You can walk on stage

and get booed off stage,

and still call yourself a comic.

What's hard is becoming

one of the great ones.

So, I already knew

that we were facing a touchy situation.

On the other hand, you know,

I'm not affiliated with the government.

I get to come in

as an innocent bystander in the whole thing.

I'm not... I'm not crossing your line.

I'm not crossing this line.

Billy Cunningham.

My guest for the next segment

is the honorable

actor/comedian Katt Williams,

starring in a comedy special in Cincinnati,

September 25, to be filmed

for TV and DVD.

Katt Williams,

welcome to the Bill Cunningham show.

Thank you, sir. 700 WLW.

I understand you were born in Cincinnati,

and now I'm holding a proclamation.

- This is unbelievable.

- Is that unbelievable?

- I don't have my own day, but you do.

- Yes.

"The mayor of the City of Cincinnati does

hereby declare September 24, which is today,

"as Katt Williams Day. "

What did you do to get this, if anything?

...he was down here and I promised him

the next time he comes back to the city

that I was going to make sure

that I give him a key.

Well, unfortunately, the city ran out of keys,

but, as I promised your assistant,

that when they come in

I am going to mail them.

But since we can't give you a key,

what we have done is decided

- to give you a proclamation.

- Much better.

And we're going to proclaim this your day.

BILLY:
What does it mean

when you get a day? What does this mean?

You get to speed? You get to pick up girls?

What does this exactly mean?

Well, I was doing those

on the other days,

so I was hoping that it still continues.

BILLY:
This is something special, then?

I'm gonna read a couple of lines.

I'll put on my glasses in case I tear up.

Exactly. Can we have

a napkin, please? Tissue.

"Whereas Katt Williams was born

in Cincinnati, Ohio on September 2."

That's a... September 2.

I share the same month.

My birthday is on Sunday,

so I'm going to be celebrating,

bringing your birthday in.

And I know Jill's birthday is tomorrow,

so it's great to have

many September birthdays this month.

"Do hereby proclaim

- "that in Cincinnati, September 24...

- That's right.

"... and on behalf of the Mayor

and its over 300,000 citizens,

"do hereby proclaim Katt Williams Day. "

That's beautiful. See that? Look at that.

Oh, I'm so proud right now. This is my day.

I'm gonna be doing some...

Misdemeanors is happening today.

That is such an honor, really,

for him to come here today. It is.

But, you know, I always try to look

at the positive things

and not the negative things.

And it's truly an honor

to have him here today

and really try and overlook...

And moving forward

to the new and improved Cincinnati.

Bye. See you later.

CHRIS:
You know, I applaud you for that,

especially remembering home.

A lot of people don't.

They kind of leave

where they say they're from,

and then they never want to come back

and give back,

which is good 'cause you bringing in

some healing, 'cause I...

Comedy is healing to me.

You know, when I want to go get something

off my mind, I go to a comedy show.

Right.

- You know, 'cause it makes you laugh.

For you to come here

and bring some healing, that's, like, wow.

- You should be applauded for that.

- I appreciate that.

Yeah, I mean, I can't fix the problems.

I just got some Bactine and some Band-Aids.

That's my job.

I can't heal you,

but I can put a little...

I can put a little salve on it for a second.

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