Kavkazskaya plennitsa, ili Novye priklyucheniya Shurika (Kidnapping Caucassian Style) Page #2

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if I couId take part in it.

Listen, where can we find it...

Look around at what's going on.

No, in our region, the oId ways

and traditions are dead.

Perhaps high up in the mountains,

you might find something

for your science,

but not down here.

- Then I'II go up there.

- Right. It's yourjob, isn't it?

You've come here

to record fairy taIes,

and we are working here

to make fairy taIes reaI.

Yes?

I've brought the toast.

FeeIing bad, eh?

- Who gave you permission?

- You toId me to bring three copies.

Life is grand, isn't it?

- And the grand Iife is even better!

- You're right!

Administrator of RegionaI Economy

B.G. Saakhov

Aren't you ashamed ofyourseIf?

You'd cheat a poor orphan?

She got nobody but her uncIe and aunt.

Twenty five.

I respect your niece,

but there're Iimits to everything.

- Eighteen.

- Have you got no shame?

After aII, you're getting not a goat,

but a wife, and what a wife!

A student, a KomsomoI member,

an athIete, a beauty...

And for aII that I'm asking 25 sheep.

It's a reaI bargain!

That's bad apoIiticaI reasoning. You

are bIind to the poIiticaI situation.

You see Iife through the windows of

my personaI automobiIe.

fuIfiIIed the pIan in meat and wooI?

Don't mix up your own sheep

with those ofthe State.

By the way,

my dear DzhabraiI,

I'm pIaced here to keep a watch

over the State's interests.

Sit down for now.

Where were we...

- Twenty sheep.

- Twenty five.

Twenty.

I'II aIso give you a refrigerator...

A certificate of merit...

- And a free trip somepIace...

- To Siberia.

- AII right.

- AII right.

Let's see now.

The bridegroom agrees...

Her reIatives agree, too.

But... the bride herseIf...

Yes, young peopIe today are brought

up badIy, yes, badIy.

They have siIIy views

on marriage.

Why must we ask her opinion?

Put a sack over her and... whoosh!

That's a good idea.

A very good idea.

But I can't be part of it.

Don't worry.

It'II be done by outsiders.

- Yes, and not from around here.

- Trust me.

Dancing SchooI. Price based on tariff.

Tariff:
1 rubIe.

This is the twist, not the Iezghinka.

Watch me again.

With your right toe,

you crush the butt of a cigarette.

Like this.

Another butt...

you crush with your Ieft toe.

Now you crush both butts.

Dancing SchooI. Price based on tariff.

Tariff:
1 rubIe.

MuItiboard Game. Price based on

tariff. Tariff:
1 rubIe.

You Iost.

- You soId her?

- None ofyour business!

Wait a minute... weII...

I bet it passes...

A bit to my right...

There.

Forward!

The sheep in the stabIe,

the fridge in the house.

Where are you going?

Get back in the house.

You won't get away with this.

- Kidnapping such a wonderfuI girI...

- An athIete, a KomsomoI member...

By the way,

in my town a man kidnapped

a girI who was a Party member.

Shurik, you're making

a great deaI of progress.

- Oh, it's nothing at aII.

- Nothing at aII?

ReaI nothing. I was secured.

WeII, I'II have to give you

a harder task.

What is it?

Hop into your sIeeping bag.

As quick as possibIe.

- Just a second. We'II time it.

- Right.

WeII, get ready. On your mark...

Go!

Time!

Are you going to sIeep standing?

I'm timing you.

Watch out!

Shurik! Stay where you are!

I'II save you!

There're two ofthem.

- The third one's got a taiI...

- Don't count the donkey.

- The second one is one too many.

- A witness.

And what if...

- We can't murder him.

- We'd better wait.

Right, we'II wait.

You deaI.

- What is this? Is it foIkIore?

- No, it's a student song.

A song about bears.

- It couIdn't be usefuI to you.

- It can. It's students' foIkIore.

Come on, sing it.

AII right, Iisten.

Somewhere in a distant corner,

In the frozen North,

Bears rub their bodies

Against the axis of Earth.

Passing by them are eras,

SIeeping are the seas ice-bound.

Bears rub their bodies,

The earth goes spinning around.

The earth goes round and round.

They turn the earth around

With aII their bear's might,

So that aII the Iovers

Sooner couId meet and unite.

So that one sunny morning,

One year earIier, or two,

He couId say, ''I Iove you'',

And she:
''I Iove you, too.''

After an ApriI shower,

Sooner wiII come the dawn.

And for the two happy Iovers,

As the time goes on,

The sun wiII shine forever,

The days wiII aII be fair,

The fog wiII curI in a vaIIey,

Snow-white as a bear.

Somewhere in a distant corner,

In the frozen North,

Bears rub their bodies

Against the axis of Earth.

Passing by them are eras,

SIeeping are the seas ice-bound.

Bears rub their bodies,

The earth goes spinning around.

The earth goes round and round.

The earth goes round and round.

Goodbye, Shurik.

You go that way,

and I'm heading for the camp.

It's been fun.

- Goodbye, Nina.

- Goodbye!

Nina!

- Wait, Nina.

- What is it, Shurik?

I'm going to take you

to your camp.

You didn't Iive up

to the trust I put in you.

- It was impossibIe.

- You set us an unattainabIe goaI.

Ifyou ask me...

it was voIuntarism.

Watch your Ianguage in my house!

What did I say?

Aha! Fine!

There's your money!

We quit!

Take your money!

Take it!

- Here's your money.

- Wait a minute.

Listen... Everything wiII be fine.

The one who's in the way,

he wiII heIp us.

- That changes things.

- Then we agree.

Get ready.

- Come here.

- Come on, you idiot!

Whose shoe is it?

Mine. Thanks.

Let's go.

You'd better go. It's getting Iate.

You won't Iose your way, wiII you?

Good night.

- Oh, heIIo, Shurik.

- Good evening.

- What'II you have?

- Nothing. AIyosha, a bottIe ofwine.

- You're a Iucky man.

- Why?

- You wanted to see an oId ceremony?

- Of course, it wouId be great.

- At daybreak tomorrow.

- Do you reaIIy mean it?

You'II be abIe not onIy to see it,

you may aIso take part in it.

I don't know how to thank you.

- WouId you Iike some juice?

- No.

- What exactIy is this ceremony?

- Bride kidnapping.

Don't think it's something bad.

The bride dreams of it.

Her parents have agreed, too.

Of course, they can go get registered...

- But first the bride shouId be stoIen.

- StoIen?

A beautifuI tradition.

And what do I do in aII this?

- You'II be the kidnapper...

- Kidnap?

- Carry her off in a sack...

- In a sack? Is this the tradition?

It's great!

- You must carry her, guess where?

- To the groom, I guess.

No. Carry her

to his friends.

To his friends?

- That's the custom.

- I see.

- I'd Iike you to meet these friends.

- Sure.

- The groom's friends.

- Shurik.

Shurik.

Shurik.

PIease, join us.

They don't speak a word

of Russian,

but they understand everything.

What does he say?

He says, ''Bon appetite''.

Go on, eat.

Thank you very much.

- What did he say?

- He says, ifyou refuse...

They'II kiII you.

Just a joke.

Ajoke.

Ajoke...

AII right, I'II do it.

Good.

Nina wiII be gIad.

- Nina? The bride's name is Nina?

- Yes, Nina, my niece.

You mean Nina is engaged?

They're so mad about each other.

Oh, I just remembered.

Tomorrow I'm busy...

You must excuse me.

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