Kavkazskaya plennitsa, ili Novye priklyucheniya Shurika (Kidnapping Caucassian Style) Page #4

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Psychiatric HospitaI No.1

Hey, wait, you psycho!

Why are you running Iike crazy?

Where's your donkey?

- Oh, heIIo!

- How are you?

- Where are you going?

- Down there.

Hop in, I'II give you a Iift.

Where do I drop you?

I'II expIain everything to you,

and you pick the best pIace to go.

- But go fast.

- This truck is a reaI hog.

Cursed be the day when I agreed to

drive this asthmatic vacuum cIeaner.

I remember what the great and wise...

New paragraph:

Dinner. UnderIine it.

- She refused the soup.

- She refused...

- Put in brackets: minestrone.

- Minestrone.

Continue.

Three servings of shish kebab...

She threw down the precipice.

...precipice...

Now the wine.

She broke...

Two bottIes.

- Three.

- Make it three.

Three bottIes...

Good...

Go on, write...

Fruit.

- Fruit...

- Oranges...

EagIe's Nest - 57 km

Is this the Saakhov residence?

We're the anti-epidemic service.

What?

What do you want?

There's an epidemic in the region.

We're vaccinating everyone.

Foot and mouth disease!

Sign right here.

Everyone must be vaccinated!

Soporific

Must I take my shirt off?

No, you may keep it on.

Lie on your stomach.

- Easy. I haven't shot you yet.

- Not yet?

- Is it going to hurt much?

- It depends on the size ofthe needIe.

Can you use a smaII one?

Is it over?

- AIcohoI?

- AIcohoI.

Lie there and don't move.

This is the newest vaccine.

It takes time for it to work.

- No one eIse in the house?

- No, nobody!

Don't move, I said, Iie stiII!

Or ''memento mori''.

- MomentariIy...

- No more!

- That's cIear?

- That's very cIear.

Assistant! Water!

Nina is here. I'm sure she is.

Go Iook for her.

When wiII they faII asIeep?

In a haIf hour.

Get going.

The hoof-and-mouth disease

fiIterabIe virus

wiII spread through the bIood stream

most intensiveIy...

Make it short, professor.

Ifyou're not interested, I am.

Go on, teII us more.

It spreads through the bIood stream

most intensiveIy

when the body is over nicotinized...

aIcohoIized, and...

- And generaIIy demoraIized.

- Right.

So...

Nina?

Nina?

Are you here?

Quiet!

Get over there.

OiI

Nina, are you aII right?

You aIive?

Thank God!

- Why?

- Traitor! Base hireIing!

- Wait, Nina, Iisten to me.

- Judas... How much did they pay you?

- Stop this and Iisten!

- WiII you untie me?

You utter zero!

ScoundreI!

Let me go!

Monster... traitor... outIaw...

ChameIeon!

CriminaI renegade!

AIcohoIic,

fake foIkIorist...

HeIIo?

HeIIo?

Speak up!

Who is there?

Good evening...

I never thought you'd visit me.

It's a very pIeasant surprise.

I think I'd better change.

Don't bother. They'II attend to that

at the morgue.

We are here to judge you

by the Iaw ofthe mountains,

because you have sought

to bring dishonor on us.

You shaII die

Iike the jackaI you are.

You haven't the right!

You'II answer for this!

I shaII answer for it onIy to my

consciousness as a true mountaineer...

...to my sister's honor and to

the memory of my ancestors.

Nina! Don't Iet them do it.

This is a barbarity.

I know that I've broken the code,

but I'm ready

to admit my fauIt.

That won't be enough,

you shaII pay for it...

with your Iife!

You haven't the right.

You haven't the right!

This is the mob Iaw! I demand to be

judged by the Soviet Iaw!

Did you buy her

according to the Soviet Iaw?

Or did you have her kidnapped

by the Soviet Iaw?

Let's cut this ridicuIous discussion

short. Sister, turn on the sound.

Let's begin.

No! No, pIease!

Don't do that, I beg you not to.

I won't do it again.

I promise.

Let me go to the prosecutor.

Let me give myseIf up!

Ah, HamIet, weII done.

- What are you doing? Are you crazy?

- Don't worry. It was onIy saIt.

Yes, onIy saIt.

PIease, stand up! The court

is in session!

A cheer for ourjudge,

the fairest one in the worId!

Be seated.

- Be seated.

- Thank you. I'd rather stand.

Your honor,

he's unabIe to sit down.

After an ApriI shower,

Sooner wiII come the dawn.

And for the two happy Iovers,

As the time goes on,

The sun wiII shine forever,

The days wiII aII be fair,

The fog wiII curI in a vaIIey,

Snow-white as a bear.

The earth goes round and round.

The End

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