Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain Page #2

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I would much rather show you.

Look for yourself, people.

This is my second time coming back here,

and you guys have shown me

nothing but love.

Amazing. Absolutely amazing/

Awesome.

Kevin Hart is the funniest man alive.

You ain't got no daddy

Thank you for the love.

Thank you for the support.

We totally love him. Keep coming!

It was amazing/

I love Kevin.

I f***ing love you, Toronto!

Thank you!

The show was awesome!/

It was great.

We love you, Kevin Hart!

I feel such genuine...

You have no idea how much

I love and appreciate y'all

for the f***ing support that

you guys have given me.

You about to sh*t, ain't you?/

No, no. Ain't no shitting on the bus.

It is if it's shitting on a good bus/

No shitting on a bus.

Downstairs?/

No, ain't no shitting on the bus at all.

I'm calling a team meeting right now.

No shitting.

No shitting on the bus, dude.

I can't, man! I sh*t at

least seven times a day.

When they gotta sh*t,

we'll pull over and go to...

So we can pull over?/

Yeah.

Yeah. We ain't telling

you to sh*t on yourself!

Well, I will.

I got a rule. A nigga sh*t on a bus,

you gotta pay that $500.

$500 to take a sh*t?

That's a fine.

So, how do I say,

"What's up, everybody?"

Okay. Now, how many people

know who I am? Ask them.

I love Kevin Hart!

Let me say something.

I have never been to Oslo in my life.

Never, ever.

And the first time I come here,

you guys welcome me with a sold-out show.

Genuinely, I f***ing thank you.

I loved him in Soul Plane.

Definitely his best work.

Well, Kevin, you're awesome.

It was nice seeing you in Denmark.

Yeah. We'll miss you,

and you definitely need to come back.

All right, all right, all right!

Amsterdam! Thank you for the love.

Thank you for the support.

You wanna see

if niggas is weird or not?

Be on a bus with them for 10 hours.

You're gonna see a lot of sh*t.

We've been driving for eight hours.

We could have been there

in one on a goddamn plane.

I think it was a smart decision.

Man, this is the dumbest sh*t he ever did.

Don't nobody do this.

He's still the same dumb motherf***er

he was goddamn 27 years ago.

Just look like a bunch of idiots

on a double-decker bus.

Either get on a plane

for two and a half hours,

or take a bus for 10 hours and be with

your friends and talk to one another.

Some people on here stink.

There's a stench from hell.

It's just a lot of funky-ass...

It's like gumbo.

...I'll-hygiene-ass niggas on this bus.

It's f***ing disgusting.

That's why I stay back here

in the quarters, you know.

Me and my lady, we lay

back here in comfort.

Hey, the tour bus was a mistake!

Birmingham, you guys are amazing.

Thank you for the love. I'm out.

It was chill!/

The show was hilarious.

I love you!/

That was amazing.

That was a brilliant show.

Kevin!

...all the way.

You gotta see him, you gotta see him.

Brilliant. Excellent.

He's sexy in real life/

All right, all right!

I'm gonna marry you.

Whoo!

Kevin!

Come back to the UK

and smash it again, Kevin Hart.

The guy is good all the time.

Wow! London, this is crazy!

I can't believe this, man.

I came here and sold out.

I appreciate you all. I love you all.

I really feel like Kevin has grown into

the young mogul that he really wants to be.

Kevin was a guy

that was true to his story.

He knew where he came from,

he knew where he wanted to go.

I've seen where we started.

And to see him go from

a hole-in-the-wall bar in Atlantic City

to performing in front of 15,000 people,

you know, you gotta take your hat off.

I mean, he can go into Norway,

and Sweden and Denmark,

and get the reception that he's getting.

He's becoming a global brand.

Everything he's done,

we've pretty much seen on YouTube.

YouTube/

YouTube.

On YouTube, everything.

I then saw him on YouTube

and I thought he was hilarious.

But I've seen his stuff in YouTube,

and I love that, man.

I've seen, like, every show on YouTube.

I've seen all your shows on YouTube, man!

I'm some 1,000 miles away

in other countries,

and the love that this cat is getting...

He's so loyal.

Like, he doesn't want anybody to

feel like he's not there for them.

This is a team.

This has been running for four years

strong, and we all work good together.

God, be that angel in my corner

likeyou always are.

Mom, I know you're watching over me,

and I know you're proud. Amen.

I know I'm in Madison Square Garden,

and this sh*t is sold out.

Y'all better make some f***ing noise!

I'm gonna say it again.

I know I'm in f***ing

Madison Square Garden.

This b*tch sold out.

Y'all better make some f***ing noise!

Uh...

You see my fire? You see my fire?

You got to be a big deal

to have fire, people.

It means I'm a big goddamn deal.

Let me tell you why I got fire.

Let me tell you why.

I went to go see

Jay-Z and Kanye perform, right?

These niggas had a bunch of fire.

I was like, "Yo, this show

is the sh*t, 'cause they got fire."

No comedian has ever had fire.

I'm about to be the first comedian

with some f***ing fire.

So...

Because of that, throughout my show,

you're gonna see a bunch of pointless fire.

You're laughing?

I'm not playing. I'm dead serious.

You think it's a game?

Give fire for these b*tches one time.

There's about to be a

bunch of f***ing fire.

This show's gonna be hot. Literally.

Um...

Lot of sh*t to talk about, man.

I wanna talk about the fact that I'm happy.

I'm happy right now, people.

Uh...

I wanna explain why I'm happy.

First of all, my divorce is final.

That's the first reason why.

Now, here's what I wanna explain

about my divorce.

Everybody assumes that because

you went through a divorce,

you went through a

f***ed-up period of life.

You hate each other.

You're enemies. It's not true.

At the end of the day,

that's the mother of my kids.

I'm always gonna respect her

as the mother of my kids.

She's happy, she's moved on.

I'm happy, I've moved on.

I'm happier than she is, though.

I am.

No, I am. I'm doing a lot of happy sh*t

right now, people. You have no idea.

I took a f***ing walk the other day.

Do you know how happy you gotta be

to take a goddamn walk?

To just go outside

and start f***ing walking?

I knew I was happy because I was

talking to myself while I was walking.

I was like, "You hungry?"

"I could eat."

It was just me, though. Right?

Nobody else was there.

I stopped, I fed pigeons.

That's some happy sh*t!

You gotta be happy to feed pigeons.

Here's a beautiful thing

about me feeding pigeons.

When I was done feeding the pigeons,

I didn't have to lie about it.

See, when you're married,

you lie about sh*t like that.

Because you don't believe

that your wife would ever believe

that you were doing something as dumb

as feeding some goddamn pigeons.

There's not a married man

sitting in this audience right now

that can go out and feed pigeons,

and his wife calls, and she says,

"Babe, where you at?"

And you go, "I'm feeding pigeons."

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