Kickin It Old Skool

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Justin, are you ready for the talent show?

Mom, I pity the fool who ain't

ready for the talent show.

Wasn't that... something?

A round of applause for Jen.

Now we've all-

The Vista Avenue Elementary School-

Hey, Jen.

You were way cool out there.

Radical. Thanks.

Ooh, I got you something.

- Oh, my God. You got me-

- Garbage Pail Kids Series TwoJellyJenny.

- Y-You don't have it, do you?

- Yeah, I do.

Psych!

Jen!

This goober's buying you

Garbage Pail Kids?

- Yeah.

- Well, that's real cool, Schumacher.

I got you something too.

It was wicked expensive.

- I can't accept this.

- Don't be such a spaz.

Come here.

I'll put it on ya.

It's real gold too.

So, do I get a thank-you kiss?

That's it?

Bogus!

- What happened with Jen?

- "Kip-napped."

All you gotta do is

dog him on the dance floor.

Turn that Pound Puppy

into a little b*tch.

I don't know, you guys.

According to my calculations...

we only have 36% chance

of beating Kip's group.

Well, did you factor in

my special move?

- What you talkin' about, Willis?

- Coffee grind and a head spin...

freeze, switch...

and pop into a backflip.

Are you wack?

You'll kill yourself out there!

- I'm not lettin' Kip humiliate me in front of-

- Justin?

Ooh!

Kip thinks he can

buy his way into my bra.

I wanted you to have this.

- Oh.

- It's my good luck charm.

I feel lucky already.

I don't know what you're doin'

after the show, but-

I don't know- do you wanna come over

and maybe watch Blue Lagoon?

We have it on Beta-

max.

Break a leg, Justin.

- I'll see you after the show?

- That'd be smurfy.

Hey, Romeo, man, we up next.

Hello? McFly?

Marty.

Marty. Hurry up.

Justin's on.

- Oh. Oh.

- Jesus. Jesus.

Now, two break-dancing crews will have a battle.

Please welcome the Funky Fresh Boyz

and the Groundbreakers!

- Let's see what you got, Kip.

- Let's see what you got.

- Put it on the floor.

- It's on the floor. You're steppin' on it.

- And I'm dancin' on it.

- Justin!

AppleJack 2012.

Prince Def Rock.

Chilly Chill.

P-P-Popcorn.

Rocket Shoe.

Funky Fresh Boyz. F.F.B.!

Go, Kip!

Ooh!

Justin, don't do it!

Justin!

- Justin!

- Justin!

- Justin? Justin?

- Justin?

- Justin.

- Justin.

He did the move.

Nice play, Shakespeare.

Someone call somebody!

- All right. Slow down.

- I've got it covered.

- Okay. Good. Happy birthday, kid.

- Okay.

Jesus.

I got 20 years

of blisters on my ass.

- Here we go.

- Just put a smile on your face.

Happy birthday!

- Blow out your candles.

- Sylvie.

You do this every year.

Never works!

- Why are you so negative?

- I'm not negative.

Oh, my God. Marty.

- Yeah?

- Marty!

Whoa!

Fire, fire, fire!

Fire, fire, fire!

Mr. and Mrs. Schumacher?

Hi, Dr. Fry.

We have to talk.

Justin's been on unpaid life support

for the last 16 weeks.

I just put 16 checks in

the mail this morning. So-

I understand how difficult it is

to make payments of this magnitude.

Sh*t, I'm still paying

for that damn Ferrari.

But, unfortunately, this hospital

can't afford to foot the bill for Justin's care.

So, wait a minute. Are you-

Are you gonna unplug him?

Justin hasn't made

any progress in 20 years.

And the chances of him reviving

are less than one percent.

Maybe it's time...

to give your son and yourself...

some peace.

Does anybody else smell burnt cake?

Okay. Could you-

Could you just give us a minute?

Yeah. Thank you.

Justin?

It's Dada.

We're gonna unplug you now.

No more electricity.

And, Justin...

just know that your mom and dad

love you very much.

It's a shame we gotta do this

on his birthday, but...

let's get those papers

signed, all right?

Come on.

- Oh, Marty.

- Honey, it's sad.

But the kid's a vegetable.

I know. I'm gonna miss that little turnip.

- Honey, my ass.

- Huh?

Oh. Strawberry.

Hey, we got the '80s flashback

block comin' at you right now...

with a little tune called "Rockit"

from Mr. Herbie Hancock.

What? Where?

Huh? PONG.

Feet must be asleep.

- Justin?

- Hi, Mom.

Justin!

Okay. We're okay.

Welcome home, Son!

We should have paid for

that coma physical therapy thing.

Doctor said he needed it.

No, that's just the doctors

trying to rip us off for more money.

- Justin's fine.

- Dad.

Oh, Justin!

Justin. Hey, watch your legs.

Here we go. Here we go.

That's it. Up we go.

Oh. We got ya. Okay.

- You're okay.

- Wow.

- Okay.

- Gettin' a little heavy there.

There we go.

Oh, big step.

- Up. That's a boy.

- Okay. Okay.

Weebles wobble,

but they don't fall down, right, Dad?

- That's my boy. Oh.

- Oh.

- You should catch him.

- The neighbors. Crap. This'll

be on YouTube in an hour.

Oh. There you go.

Watch some MTV.

MTV? Wicked.

We need to gang up

and do something and get revenge on her.

Mom! The TV's broken.

Supposed to be MTV,

but they're not playing any videos.

It's just a bunch of girls

talking and crying.

It's good to have him home.

Yeah. Okay. Now...

give this to him, take out the garbage,

and then walk the dog.

What is the use of havin' a kid

if I still gotta do chores?

He just came out of a coma.

Yeah. It's always something.

First he's in a coma,

then he just got out of one.

- Sucks.

- You suck.

R2, see what you can do

with deflector shields.

- No, no, no.

- R2.

No, no.

Uh, TiVo.

Uh, Justin...

your mom was saying that the dog

needs walkin' and that the lawn needs mowin'.

And since I've been doin' your chores

for about 20 years...

why don't you give

your old man a rest?

Can I wait until

my arms and legs work?

Well, your-your arms and legs

aren't gonna work all by themselves.

Son, you've got to

work them until they work.

- Mow the lawn, paint the fence.

- Sand the floor?

Dad, is this like Mr. Miyagi telling

Daniel-san to do household chores...

but he's really teaching him karate?

- No.

- Why are we holding hands? I don't-

- Because you'll get-

- I don't want to hold hands. Ow.

- What happened to the mall?

- Nothing.

Business is- it's booming.

- What?

- Just checking. Okay.

I gotta go to the bank.

Why don't you go to the toy store?

Darth Maul?

Jar Jar Binks?

Who are these gay birds?

They're not from Star Wars.

Hey.

- What do you like to play with?

- Huh?

- What's your favorite toy?

- Well, I like Tamagotchi. It's like a little pet.

- Is it like a Chia Pet?

- What's a Chia Pet?

Oh! You know what I got at my house?

I got a Slip 'n Slide.

You know what? You should come over sometime.

We could Slip 'n Slide together.

We have potential trouble

in Glazer's Toys.

Or we could play army. I could play the sergeant.

You could be the lieutenant.

You and I can get in a trench together.

I can get in your foxhole.

Or you can get in my foxhole.

You and me could play cops and robbers.

I could be the cop.

You could be the robber. I could be like,

"You're goin' downtown." Hey.

- No, no.

- Yeah. Come on.

- Don't make me pull out my nightstick.

- Happy camper in Glazer's Toys!

I repeat. We have a happy camper

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