Kickin It Old Skool Page #2

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in Glazer's Toys!

You can come over my house

and sleep over if you want.

You like those foxholes?

Here's a little foxhole.

It's just so damn cute.

I- I don't like- I don't like cute things.

I like boy things!

- Know what they do to b*tches

like you up in prison, huh?

- I'm not a b*tch.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Stop, stop, stop. Let him go.

Justin?

Darnell?

- What was up with those guys?

- Uh, well, they thought you like little boys.

Of course I like little boys.

No, no. Like, they thought

you like little boys.

- Oh, my God. That's so gnarly.

- Mm-hmm.

Ew. Ew.

- You want some chew?

- Nah. Go ahead, man.

You hit your head real hard, huh?

You should come over my house.

I'm hookin' up my Atari.

It's gonna be awesome.

Man, I miss you, dog. I miss you.

You my nigga!

Darnell, that's a bad word.

B*tch, it's 2006!

You been sleepin' too long.

After N.W.A. came out,

everybody's been sayin' it.

- What-What's N.W.A.?

- Uh, Niggaz With Att-

Look, don't worry about it.

It's like "my buddy," or "my friend."

I'm sorry, Darnell.

- I was in a coma.

- Yeah, you were.

You're a good n*gger.

You're the best n*gger I ever had.

Mmm, mmm, mmm!

Nigga, get up, get up, get up.

Mrs. Schumacher, we can't give you a loan.

This bank has already extended itself

for you as far as it can.

I don't- I don't think

you understand, um...

the extent of Justin's

medical bills.

They're gigantic. And, um,

I think we might be losing the house.

And, um,

I can't let that happen.

- I just- I don't-

- Hands are tied.

I gotta pay my parents back.

- Whoa. Is this the new mall?

- This is it.

It's like Epcot Center.

Maybe I can get a job here.

Holy crap!

- What's goin' on here?

- Red leather, yellow leather.

Yellow leather, red leather.

Toy boat. Why isn't

my microphone working?

They're shootin' a TV show. I heard of this.

It's like American Idol for dancing.

America what?

Star Search. It's like Star Search.

For dancing.

Okay. Stretch time's over.

All right, girls.

Let's take it from the top.

Boy, they really didn't

stick that one.

That's better.

Oh-

It- It's Ju-

It's Ju-

Ju-Just-

Oh, my God! Justin! Oh, my God!

I can't believe my eyes!

I never thought I'd see you again.

I never thought I'd-

Oh, my God.

You really grew up.

I mean, a lot.

- A lot, a lot.

- Uh-

- Oh, my God.

- Okay. You have to excuse him.

- I know I'm black, but I'm not invisible.

- Oh, my God.

- I'm sorry, Darnell. I didn't mean to be rude.

- What's up, Jen?

I-I'm good. I'm real good.

I'm the dance consultant for the new show.

Blue Lagoon!

We-We never got to

watch Blue Lagoon.

- Betamax.

- Kapow!

Whoo! Mmm, mmm.

- Kip, you remember Justin.

- Nope.

- Wait. Did you cut my lawn a few weeks ago?

- No.

- Clean my pool?

- No.

You're the jackass that flipped

off the stage when we were kids.

Oh, my God! I thought you were dead!

- Kip.

- What? Honey, he's like- Did you see his neck go-

Like that. Holy sh- I can't believe it.

Hey. Did you show him?

Look.

- Oh, wrong finger. Look.

- Ow.

We're engaged.

You okay?

You look like you just

got punked, beyotch.

Well, it was great

running into you, Dustin.

Uh, here.

Take a flyer.

So, do you have

a new phone number...

or are ya still

livin' with mommy and daddy?

- Still livin' with-

- I'm shocked!

Well, we gotta run.

So, here.

Why don't you say good-bye

to your new friend. Bye-bye.

Use that hand later for something,

huh, you little devil, you. Dick.

Let her go, man.

There's plenty of hiz-os in the hiz-ouse.

- Was he retarded before the coma?

- But Jen was my hiz-o.

Yeah.

But now she's "his-o."

No.

All I gotta do is dog him

on the dance floor.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Justin, no, no. Justin!

Justin. Justin!

No, no!

Oh, God.

He look like a chicken.

Justin, no! No!

Justin, you're still weak!

- Watch this, hiz-o.

- What in the hell is he doin'?

Y'all know him?

Security.

Don't feed the animal.

I mean- I mean, come on.

I hate everyone.

- What are you doin'?

- Killing myself.

- With Pop Rocks and a soda?

- Yeah.

Let me have it, Justin.

Ahhh.

- Hey.

- I'm kidding, Justin.

See? You won't die.

- But Mikey.

- It never happened.

You have a better chance

of slittin' your wrist with this.

Come on, man.

Look at you.

Where's the Rocket Shoe?

Hey, wait.

Did you read this?

"Get 2 Steppin' Crew Edition.

"Compete for the grand prize

of a one-year contract...

with D-Zone Videos and $100,000."

Oh, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no. Hell no.

- Hell no, Justin.

- No, D-Darnell, it's the only way.

We win the contest,

I get the money to pay back my parents...

we stuff Kip so hard

that Jen has to come back to me.

Darnell, you know what we gotta do?

We gotta get the Funky Fresh Boyz

back together.

Ow!

Didn't I say "hell no"?

Why are you so angry?

- No.

- Please.

Will you stop sayin'

"please," please?

Venus, Serena, say hi to Justin

before I beat his ass.

I didn't know you had kids.

- They ain't mine.

- Huh?

Why y'all just sittin' here?

Why y'all didn't clean up the house?

Cockroach!

Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold.

Stop, stop, stop, stop. Relax. Relax.

Relax. Relax.

It's not a real roach.

It's one of my inventions.

You remember when we were kids...

- they had those toys called

the Wacky Wall Walkers?

- Yeah.

You could grab it, throw it against the wall.

It would stick and crawl down-

- Right. You know how much

the guy who invented that made?

- How much?

- A hundred million dollars.

- Get out.

Yes. A hundred million dollars

for a stupid Super Ball with snot on it.

And you think the next

Wacky Wall Walker is?

The Ghetto Wall-Grabber.

Here. Try it.

Throw it right up against the wall.

It just goes-

comin' down the wall.

Wow, that's cool. That sticks.

Wow, it's like a real roach. It-

Yep. I'll sell a million

of those in Atlanta.

So what's stopping you

from making your millions?

$10,000 in seed money.

That's what I need to get started.

And as you can see,

that ain't happening around here.

Every time that stupid girl watch a video,

she have another baby.

Hmm. $10,000.

Seed money.

Hmm. I wonder where

you could get that.

Uh, Justin.

Uh, Justin.

- Darnell.

- Hey, Boo.

You got your hair did.

It looks real good.

- You bring the diapers?

- They're right there. Hey, Tiger Woods!

- Where?

- Right there, sweetie.

Is that all you got?

Boy, this ain't gonna last more than two days.

It'd last a long time

if they didn't doo-doo so much.

- I'm sorry, baby. I didn't have no more money.

- You ain't got no more money.

How come every time

I ask you for something you ain't got money?

But when you need to buy parts and sh*t

for your little inventions...

you got more money than 50 Cent?

Like this.

What is this? What?

It's an automatic jean tight-roller.

Ain't nobody tight-rollin'

their jeans no more, fool!

But, baby, this one's automatic.

I don't care if it's automatic,

systematic, Veg-O-Matic.

I don't give a sh*t-o-matic.

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