Kidnapping Mr. Heineken
- R
- Year:
- 2015
- 95 min
- 170 Views
So you've decided
to make your own luck.
I can understand that.
I made Heineken
Me. On my own.
I did that.
And not by sitting
on my ass either
waiting for the stupid
money fairy
to hit me on my stupid
damned head.
You know
that what you're doing
is completely stupid.
Unless, of course,
you pull it off,
in which case it can be
completely brilliant.
Yeah. I suppose
if I were in your shoes,
I would do
exactly the same.
[baby crying]
(Cor)
Ah, there he is.
What are you doing?
Huh?
(Cor)
What are
you doing?
You can't bring
a kid to this.
He can wait
outside with Brakes.
[sigh]
This is f***ed up.
[several shouting]
Listen, it's
not f***ed.
It's fine.
Cat, can you put
the kid down, please?
Just give him
to my little brother.
Right. Now,
is everyone ready?
(Cat)
Yes.
Is everyone ready?
(Spikes)
Yeah!
Alright, let's do this.
(Cor)
Well, it's a pleasure
to finally meet you,
Mr. Iverson.
My name is Cor Van Hout.
This is Mr. Holleeder,
Mr. Boellard, and Mr. Meijer.
We're here today
in the hope
of asking you
for a loan.
A loan?
(Willem)
Yeah.
It's a business loan.
And what particular
sort of...?
Construction.
(Cat)
Yeah, we
were doing well.
(Willem)
Yeah, really well.
You've been running
a company employing
a hundred men?
Yeah, well, we were
all equal partners,
yeah, right down
the middle there.
Um, Mr. Boellard here
is a master carpenter.
Mr. Meijer has a...
if these numbers
are real,
you're in
fine shape.
Surely, if
you've been making
this kind of money,
you must
have investments
that you could stake
as collateral?
(Cor)
Uh, well, we had, uh,
you know, cars,
and we had boats
and we had
some race horses but...
Equities, bonds,
pension funds?
When the recession hit,
we cashed in.
The cars,
the boats,
the horses?
It's for paychecks, uh,
for guys living
from one Friday
to the next.
I think
you can understand
that their kids
can't live or eat off IOUs.
I think, maybe,
what you haven't heard,
Mr. Big Manager,
is that, uh,
there's a world
of hurt out there
right now...
Oh, believe me,
I know.
Well, we still got
a building.
Great.
What's the address?
Uh, it's Leidsegracht.
Six six three.
Hold on.
Leidsegracht?
The commune?
Commune?
It's a bunch of punks
that don't pay their rent.
It's hardly
a f***ing commune.
Yes.
Squatters.
We're in the process
of evictions.
Government says
once they change
the locks,
they've got rights.
So that means lawyers.
I do see your problem.
But you're
welcome back
when you solve it.
[shout of frustration]
[baby crying]
(Cat)
Guys like him
don't lend money
to guys like us.
We'll get the punks
out of the building.
Yeah.
How are you
going to do that?
(Cor)
Yeah. I got
an idea.
Alright, listen.
You're going
to love this.
(Cor)
it's time to go, boys!
Hey, what's going on?
Time to go!
(Spikes)
Open up!
(Cor)
Cat, get in through a window,
not the front door!
[banging]
Open up!
[shouting]
(Cat)
Come on down!
(girl)
You don't
scare me!
You f***ing stink!
[shouts]
Whoa!
I'll come back
for you.
Get the f*** out!
[banging]
Coming!
[banging continues]
F***ing coming!
[shouting]
(man)
Oh, sh*t!
(girl)
Get out of here!
Sh*t.
(man)
Oh, sh*t!
Oh!
[shouting]
(punk)
Get the f***
out of here.
Oh, sh*t.
[shouting]
You going
to go?
Go and get
the f*** out of here!
Get the f*** out!
Go on!
[police sirens]
(pothead)
Now you're in trouble!
Go! Go!
Everyone out!
(police officer)
Go, go, go!
(Spikes)
Hey, this is
our building!
We own this place!
(man's voice)
Fuckface!
Police! Police!
Everybody go!
You want
to do this?
No.
No, I think
I'll pass.
P*ssy.
Hey!
Whoaaa!
(man's voice)
Charge!
[shouting]
(man)
Get your f***ing hands
off of me now.
(Cor)
I hope... well, f*** it.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Fine. Thank you.
Bye.
What'd he say?
(Cor)
Well, he said
if we lived in Texas,
they'd throw us a parade.
But here,
well you know
how that is.
Yeah.
Anyway, good news.
Squatters aren't going
to press charges.
How kind
is that?
Whooptiedoo.
Happy days.
(cop)
Cornelius Van Hout.
Yo.
Thank you.
Only Van Hout.
(Spikes)
Huh?
Hey.
Bad news. You guys
resisted arrest.
Plus, not only do they
get to stay in the building,
we got to pay
for the sh*t we busted.
Yeah, including
the fish!
F*** the fish.
Sonja?
Hey.
Uh-oh.
[chuckles]
No, no, no.
Listen. I can explain.
L... Sonja,
please, will... Son...!
[lock clicks]
Sonja, what
are you doing?
[vomiting]
You alright?
What's going on, Son?
[baby gurgling]
[chuckling]
What are you doing?
What are you doing
hiding in my kitchen?
Hey, who are you?
Who are you, huh?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know who you are.
I just worked it out.
Yeah, that's right.
You know what?
You are way
too good-looking
to be Karin's boy. Hm?
Oh, hey, Karin, hey.
Hey, how you doing?
I was just joking...
if you had any idea
what's been going
on with Sonja,
then you wouldn't do
as you do.
[toilet flushing]
What do you mean
"going on"?
Sonja, please, wh...
what's going on?
I'm pregnant.
Ah. Ah.
What?
Ha.
Wow.
That's, uh...
[chuckles]
Really?
That's unbelievable.
You're f***ing pregnant?
Yeah.
I'll leave you two
to it then.
Bye!
See you, Karin!
Hey, come on, you!
[door closes]
(Willem)
Happy New Year!
Hey!
Hey, Ma!
Look at your hair
and your dress,
you look
like a model.
Thanks.
(Ma)
Hey, be careful!
Yeah, your sister's
knocked up.
Yeah, I know
it's great.
He doesn't greet
his old man...
or even have
a beer with him.
You know
I don't drink.
Especially Heineken.
Look at me
when you talk to me.
[deep sigh]
Heineken beer
and Heineken money
paid for this house
and for your upbringing.
You see that?
The man
is my friend.
But he fired you
and I don't think
he remembers your name.
You owe him respect.
Okay, let's go.
(Mom)
Oh!
(Cor)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bye, honey.
Happy New Year.
Bye, Mom.
Bye.
Bye.
Take care of her.
Thank you.
Alright. Thank you.
Invite him round
next time, Pa.
We'll all
kiss his ring.
Well, that was festive.
Oh, come on.
Let's have some fun.
Let's go to Karin's.
Aw, come on, Sonja.
You know
what we got to do.
Hey? Come on.
I'll look
after him.
Come on.
Come on.
It's tradition, alright?
Yeah, go.
You don't mind?
No!
No?
Alright,
I love you.
Love you, too.
Go!
Have fun!
(Cor)
Here's to making
this year count.
Alright, to getting
our old lives back.
(Willem)
Yeah, some f***ing
New Year.
We've no money,
the company's bankrupt,
and no one's going
to give us a loan.
So how are we going
to get our old lives
back? Huh?
We could get jobs.
Yeah, that's the
alcohol talking.
Ha.
I'm not getting
a real job.
No, I'm not going
to bust my ass
every single day
to go
absolutely nowhere.
I think this year
I refuse to be miserable.
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"Kidnapping Mr. Heineken" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/kidnapping_mr._heineken_11737>.
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