Kidnapping Mr. Heineken Page #2

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Actually, that's, uh...

that's why I want

to talk to you guys

about some business.

Cor, we just

got out of jail.

I'm not talking

about that kind

of business.

I'm talking about

smart business.

So what type

of business

you planning?

I'm planning

something organized,

something big.

How big?

Big enough that we

never have to grovel

to another

a**hole banker again.

Yeah, right, man.

(Willem)

We betting?

Or we talking

about a crime?

That's all crime is.

It's a wager.

(Cor)

Right?

Think about it.

You bet your liberty

against the payoff.

All I have to bet,

all I have left...

is my liberty.

And that's all

you guys have.

That's all you've

got left to bet.

So if you're going

to bet that,

I guess you're going

to have to bet it big.

How big?

Sixty million.

[laughing]

Sh*t.

Sixty?

Who are you

going to kidnap?

Kidnap?

Come on, man.

Sh*t.

Man, I thought

you were serious.

Idiot.

You're an idiot.

He's serious.

I'm serious.

He's been talking

about this since we

were f***ing kids!

Grabbing anybody

is easy.

Collecting the ransom

and getting away with it

is impossible.

(Cor)

It's not.

It's not impossible.

Who do you

want to kidnap?

Got to be a local.

It's got

to be a guy.

I'm not messing

with women

or children, eh.

He's got to be

stinking f***ing rich.

You're out

of your f***ing mind.

(Cor)

It's like I said...

let's make

this year

count, huh?

[boom]

Woo!

(Cor)

Happy f***ing

New Year!

[rain falling]

Hi, there.

Guys, look

what I've got. Huh?

Cat, this is

specially for you.

Oh.

Wow.

What is this?

Who do I

look like?

What do you think?

I don't know

if I love these

or hate these.

They're scary, eh?

I look like Willem.

No, you look

like a f***ing pervert.

Where's Willem anyway?

I'm not wearing a wig.

We got to find

a place so we

can hide him

where no one's

going to look.

My workshed

would be perfect

but there's an office

full of bean counters

next door.

Guys, we can't just

dump him in the shed.

No. But we could

build a room

inside the shed.

(Spikes)

That's good.

It's perfect.

I found

a boat we can steal.

It's f***ing fast.

Was a boat

on the list?

No.

So why are we

talking about a boat?

I'm trying to think

outside the box.

Come on.

Yeah, well, don't.

Whoa.

(Cat)

Guns are on that list.

Right?

Okay.

Yes.

Now be careful

with that, please.

World War II?

Safety's a little

edgy on that!

[gunshot]

F***, Spikes!

Man...

[loud knocking]

Shhh.

What?

Hear that?

[knocking continues]

Sh*t.

We're good?

We're good?

We're good?

Yeah.

Here I go.

What the f***?

(Cor)

it's okay.

(Willem)

What was that?

Yeah, it was just

f***ing Rambo

over here.

Listen, man.

Where have you been?

I've been thinking

about how we

grab Heiny.

We've been trying

to come up with

some ideas, too.

What you got?

If we're

going to do this,

we have to make sure

that the cops look

in the wrong direction.

That they have to believe

that whoever took Heiny

he's, like, some

big swinging dick,

like... Baader Meinhof?

Or Red Brigades?

Mafia?

And those f***ers

they don't mess

around. Yeah?

For a job like this,

they would have

military grade

weapons, radios.

They would have

a safehouse

to hold him.

They would have months

of preparation, months

of observation.

They would spend

at least a hundred grand.

Same old story, man?

Want to get rich?

You got to be

rich already.

Yeah.

If you want to do this

on a shoestring, fine.

But the cops are going

to look for a bunch

of local jerkoffs

and they're going

to nail us f***ing flat.

Oh, f*** it.

(Cor)

Let's pay another visit

to the bank.

(Cor)

Remember:
shoot

at the ground.

We know.

Okay, guys.

Let's go.

Now!

On the ground! Now!

[shouting]

Go, go, go!

Come on!

Go! Go!

[police siren]

(Willem)

Put your gun down!

[shouting]

Sorry!

Look out!

[girl screams]

He's gone

to the next canal!

That's it!

(Cor)

Cat! Get ready

to cut the rope!

Go, go!

I'll cover you!

[gunfire]

[shouting]

Come on!

Hurry up!

Come on!

Shoot at the ground!

Shoot at the ground!

Get down!

Sh*t!

[shouting]

Get out of the way!

Look out!

Hoo!

Woo-hoo!

You sure it's clear?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Cor.

Wow.

Now who's big

swinging d*cks?

Alright, it's time

to get down to business.

(Sonja)

How was your day?

(Cor)

Yeah, it was fine.

It was good.

Somebody robbed

a bank.

Yeah, I know.

I heard that.

With machine guns,

like, Al Capone.

They shot

hundreds of bullets.

[chuckles]

Hardly.

I don't think so.

It was all

over the radio.

And the TV.

Where have you been?

With Cat.

I was helping him

with his boat.

Where?

What do you

mean "where"?

At the, um, marina.

Up in Newlake.

Does he ever pay

you for stuff

like that?

Yeah. Yeah,

he does.

[paper wrinkling]

Mm.

Okay, okay.

Nice.

[sigh]

Amazing thing

about that robbery.

Mmm.

All that gunfire.

They didn't hit anyone.

Yeah?

Yeah, really.

Yeah, that's good.

Mm.

[distant chatter]

Thank you.

[distorted]

I've been waiting

for you, Obi-Wan.

That's good, right?

I'm going

to take that.

[distorted]

How much

do I owe you?

Hmm.

I'm going

to need a couple.

(guy)

May I ask

you something?

You're not from

around here.

No, I'm just, uh,

passing through.

Here's my private

telephone number.

I can show

you around.

(Cat)

I weighed it.

Thirty five million

is all we can carry.

Maybe the wood blocks

that were heavier

than the money.

No, they're not.

I checked.

It'll all have to be

small denominations.

(Cor)

Yeah, and

different currencies.

I've carried

twice as much.

Oh, aren't you one?

I already picked

out my Ferrari.

A Ferrari?

Yeah!

You couldn't handle

a Ferrari.

You can

barely handle

a scooter.

F*** you, man.

You want a Ferrari

because you got

a small dick.

F*** you, man.

[all laugh]

Ahhh!

[silence]

[click]

(shouting over machine)

Ahhh!

I didn't hear anything.

Yeah, well.

I'm surprised.

Well.

Yeah.

We have to test

these as well.

[click]

Cat?

Oh.

Cat?!

(Cor)

Where is everything?

What happened

to the cells?

What's going on?

What...?

What's going on?

Where is everything?

(Cat)

I want you to think

of the Anne Frank house.

(Spikes)

Oh, yeah.

Anne Frank!

F***ing brilliant.

[clapping]

You're a genius.

Come again.

You're a f***ing genius.

Where's the door?

Ask and you

shall receive.

We did do

a door, right?

[laughter]

Ah, good job.

[typewriter clacking]

"Respond to our

ransom demand

"by the deadline

"by running

the code word 'Notice'

"in the newspaper

or you'll never see

Heineken or Doderer

ever again."

[clacking ends]

Okay.

Take it.

[rubbing]

[rain falling]

[rhythmic flapping]

Can you f***ing

stop that?

Okay, it's time.

[police radio

man's voice]

Sh*t.

No, it's nothing.

You don't

know that.

Look, it's nothing.

It's just

a coincidence.

There's always an excuse

if you're looking for it.

If we're

going to do this,

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