Kidulthood Page #3

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- As much as you wanna give.

- Not a problem.

But I want some E's today

and maybe some coke.

The weed I can do for free, but,

coke and E's is gonna cost.

I haven't got no money on me.

Who needs money?

- Get your knickers off then.

- In your f***ing dreams.

- What, you're not gonna let me f*** you?

- No.

- What about a blow-job then?

- F*** off.

- Wank?

- Keep talking and you'll get a smack.

Oh, come on, Al,

we'll make dollars when we sell it.

Do you wanna shop or what?

- Yeah, but...

- Stop being such a boring b*tch then.

But I'm not gonna suck it, okay?

What is that?

- How old are you?

- I'm old enough, blood.

"Blood", you're too young

to buy these beers.

- What? Oh, shut up, man.

- Oi, come back.

- Come back!

- Come back or what, man? Shut your mouth.

- I'll have you arrested!

- You ain't gonna do sh*t, man.

- Get out of my shop.

- What?

- You're banned!

- Man, I'll leave when I wanna leave, man.

What? Come.

- D*ckhead.

- F*** off.

Bastard!

I ain't f***ing with her no more, man,

after she got banged by Sam.

F*** that, you get me?

She's any girl to me now. F*** her.

Bloods, I wouldn't care whose baby

it is, yeah, but I'd still bang that.

Hey, bloods, where's yours?

Had to dash it at that guy,

isn't it, man.

- He was shook, though.

- You're a bad man.

Let's dust, man.

I ain't standing on the corner like

a f***ing rent boy all day.

- So what, which way are we going, bruv?

- Let's roll this way, isn't it.

What's wrong, man?

What are you looking at?

Sam lives over there.

- You wanna get your GameBoy back?

- Yeah.

Yeah that, I'm on that, man,

let's do it. Come, come.

Let's not be stupid, man.

- So, what are we gonna do?

- Sam's gonna be at school, blood, yeah?

Only our year's got the day off.

We'll just go up there,

say we're his friends...

and we're picking it up,

isn't it? Simple.

Or, we ding the bell,

get through the main door...

and boot down his f***ing

front door, isn't it.

No, man.

That's some police sh*t.

Look, blood, there's three

of us alie...

we'll just go up there, yeah,

ask for it back.

And if he's gets brave, blood, we'll

handle it at school together, isn't it.

- Standard, let's roll.

- But he rolls deep, man!

- Hey, f*** it, man, let's do it.

- Oh, sh*t.

What the f*** is he doing at home,

man? He's gonna kill us.

- Hey, don't worry, man, he's gone.

- What if he comes back, though, like?

He won't, man. What's wrong with you?

What you scared for, man?

I'm not, man.

I think we should just duck, man.

- Just shut up, man, you're scared.

- I'm not.

- Hello.

- Hi.

We're Sam's friends. We've just come

here to pick something up.

Sam's not here.

He's just gone to the shop for me.

Yeah, we saw him downstairs, he told

us to come up and wait for him.

He just left, right?

Hey, that must be his room.

- That's where your GameBoy is.

- Is that my GameBoy, bloods?

Oh sh*t, sh*t, oh sh*t.

What if he comes back now?

What the f***

are you lot doing here?

Sam jacked my sister's GameBoy,

yeah, I'm just here to take it back.

- Hold this boy.

- Hey, Moons, hold him. Hold him, man.

He told me he bought that,

he's such an arsehole.

Yo, what's out there?

Balcony, where he stashes

his weed and sh*t.

Come and take this boy

outside, man.

If he's such an arsehole,

why are you with him?

I don't know, he's older,

more mature.

Then why you cheat him?

- Blood, you can't take his weed, man.

- F*** that, man.

- Hey, Jay, man, we got him.

- Just give me one minute, man.

I don't even know

why you're with that boy, man.

Look...

you could be my girlfriend.

It's just, he sad f I leave hm,

he'll tell everyone I was a sht f***.

No, no, I know you're not sh*t,

I bet you're cold in bed, man.

I don't know...

He says I'm not that good

and I've only slept with him, so...

Yeah, well, let me be the judge

of that then, isn't it.

What?

- What, has he got any rubbers in here?

- Yeah, in that drawer. Why?

Not now, Jay, man, his mum said

he only went down the road.

- Maybe you lot should go.

- You know what, don't watch that, man.

Oh, no, no, no, low it, man.

- I'm sorry, yeah, this don't normally...

- It's okay.

It's because you're so buff,

yeah, and like you're good, man.

In fact, yeah, you should leave

that pussyhole and be my girlfriend.

- What do you think, yeah?

- What if he beats me up or something?

No, he ain't gonna do that.

Look, you know what, darling.

- Come with me. Come.

- Are you done?

- One minute.

- You f***ing know about it.

You let the side down!

What's up, man? You don't even know

about sex live, man.

What the f*** you lot doing

in my yard?

Look, blood, you took

my GameBoy, man, I just...

Are you dizzy, blood? You're gonna

come up here like you're bad.

You see, yeah,

I'm gonna f*** you up, blood.

And you, see, you, Claire, I'm gonna

shove this bat so far up your p*ssy...

Sh*t.

Hey, f*** you, you f***ing prick.

- F***ing idiot!

- Hold on, hold on, man.

Oh, sh*t!

Come on, lets go.

Run, blood!

I can't believe

what you lot just done.

Hey, f*** him, man,

he deserved it.

Hey, you know

he f***ed Alisa, isn't it?

No, I didn't.

Sam's gonna kill me.

He ain't gonna do sh*t to you, man.

You know why?

Because you're my girl now,

you get me?

Yeah, man, let him come, man.

You see my uncle I'm checking today?

He's a proper bad man. And if Sam

thinks about doing anything...

my uncle will murk him

on the spot, standard.

You keep talking about your uncle

that's gonna do this and that, yeah?

But we ain't even met him, man.

I mean, what...

are you sure my man

even exists, like?

He comes like the invisible man

or something, blood.

- Yeah. Hollow Man, rude boy.

- I'll slap you, you know that, Moons?

Just wait till we need him

and he'll be here.

If he's there, I'm there. I'll jook

some up, blood. I don't business.

Shut up, Moons man,

you ain't gonna do sh*t, man.

I can't believe you swallowed

that guy's spunk.

I hate it, it tastes like

salty egg whites.

Yuk, but what

if he's got something?

You can't catch nothing like that.

All the acids in your stomach kill it.

- Did you like wanking that guy?

- No.

Was you wet?

- Yeah, a little bit.

- A little bit?

- Yeah, but his thing's so small, man.

- I bet you was mad wet, I was.

Well then, why didn't you

just f*** that Rupert friend...

and I wouldn't have had

to wank him.

You just said you liked it.

Anyway only my man gets the p*ssy.

Unlike you, obviously.

You sure you know whose baby it is?

- Don't try it, Becky.

- Yeah, well, I couldn't have that in me.

If I was you, I'd want to rip it out

with a coat-hanger.

- F***ing hell, man!

- What, blood?

Didn't I tell them no onions?

Yeah, you did, man,

you did say no onions, blood, man.

Didn't I say no onions?

Fool.

- Oi, what's going on?

- We got money, relax yourself.

Drive, man.

So, what, are me and you on

or what now?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm your girl.

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