Killer Christmas Page #2

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F***ing weirdo probably told her

he loves her,

she probably ran off.

Ok, that's mean.

Oh, look, there they are.

[Bella] Having fun?

Yeah, Art was telling me

some stories

from your college glory days.

Oh, yeah, which ones?

All of them.

Wow, and she didn't run away?

That bodes well.

Guys, it's getting dark.

Let's chop some trees down

before it closes.

[Kate] Right!

Is that all? No trees?

I couldn't found

those brats anywhere.

We drove the path, hit the back

lot, and all the side areas.

F*** man, there's the SUV

they're still around here.

The old lady is cooking up

a stew, I gotta get out of here.

F***, I'm not waiting around

for those little shits.

Screw this sh*t!

F***.

- You got this, Ruddy?

- Yeah, I got it.

Just do another lap here,

you don't find them, f*** them.

- I'm getting out of here.

- Give me a ride to the bus.

- Hey, can I get a ride too?

- Hop on.

I got it, don't worry about it.

Have a nice f***ing evening.

- Take it easy, Rud.

- Yeah, you too, buddy.

F***ing a**holes.

F*** these kids, dude.

F*** out of here, I'm leaving.

[child whispering]

Oh, Christmas tree.

Cutler!

- What's up?

- I love it.

So I can leave this one?

Yeah, [unintelligible]

I love when you talk sh*t.

Yeah, f*** the Colorado,

let's get this, we are set.

You got it, babe.

Where is everyone?

So pretty.

- You two are not getting a tree?

- No.

- No, our apartment is too small.

- Yeah, we live in a shoebox.

My room is literally the size

of the walking closet.

Timber!

- There you guys are.

- Hey, you guys see that truck?

- No.

- No.

Need any help with that, Cutler?

I'm a good helper.

I'm good, thanks though.

Looks like everything's

shut down.

[Cutler]

Damn, we missed it.

[Bella]

Free trees, b*tches.

It'll be a b*tch

trying to strap these on.

I think I got rope in my bag.

You always figure it out, babe.

[Margo] Look at the stars!

We're playing a different game.

- All right, moving along.

- My bad.

Have you ever been inside?

That hotel over there.

[child whispering]

Deck the halls.

Oh, no, not for me.

I'd go.

I'd go and see what kind

of sh*t is in there.

Yeah.

Wow, looks great, guys.

Thanks.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this calls for a celebration.

- Game?

- Game!

How about a new game?

I don't know if you will.

Call it, kid.

Exploration.

We're going to the hotel.

- Yes.

- Nice.

I'm not playing that game.

You have to play,

that's how game works.

- No.

- Come on, Bella, it'll be fun.

It'll be so spooky.

You're not actually scared,

are you?

Bella.

I... you better stay beside me

the entire f***ing time.

Babe, don't worry,

I'll protect you, I promise.

Look, in fact, I think mom

got some lights in the back.

Great.

Boom, check it out.

Always prepared.

Yeah, aren't you?

Actually,

I bought some flashlights

since were up in the boonies.

- Look at you.

- On top of it.

These are

quick up there, right?

Ok, guys, now this is a party.

Yeah!

Wow.

Here we go.

Oh my god, this is so exciting.

I don't know, it is literally

in the middle of nowhere.

This is not

the middle of nowhere.

- You should go to New Mexico.

- Or Iowa.

I drink to that.

Hey, don't worry,

you'll be fine, Bella.

There's a clearing over there.

Come on, let's go.

Ah, this place is so scary,

I love it.

So sick, I wonder how many

bodies are in there.

That's not funny.

I think four, what do you think?

I think maybe at least ten.

You guys suck.

They're just kidding,

there are no bodies in there.

- I bet there's one body.

- Cutler!

Hey, you think we can just walk

straight through

that front door?

I don't know,

looks pretty boarded up.

We could probably open it.

Onward, hoe.

Who are you calling a hoe?

- Oh, I just...

- I'm just f***ing with you.

Why are you being such a dick?

Not being a dick,

just having some fun.

[child whispering]

Deck the halls.

[man groaning]

[laughter]

Oh, f***.

Looks like they're definitely

trying to keep people out.

So, how do we get in?

It's like one of those

urban explore things.

Let's look for loose boards

or nails that we can pull out.

This isn't a good idea.

- Thanks.

- Are you having fun?

Oh, my God, yes,

I'm having tons of fun.

I haven't let loose

like this in...

maybe ever.

You know your friends

are completely insane.

I mean, these games are crazy.

They get crazier.

Wait, crazier than this?

Yeah, they love

to f*** with people's heads.

Come on,

let's go around the side.

Look at this place.

They are a**holes.

Hey, why are you being

so uptight?

I'm not being uptight, Margo.

I don't want to be here,

this place creeps me out.

Yeah, that's why

it's so fun, Bella.

Come on, stop being so paranoid.

- So we didn't find any-

- Oh, sh*t!

Sorry.

Jesus, it's not funny.

I'm so, so sorry.

You should've seen

the look on your face.

I hate you.

No you don't, you don't hate me,

you love me.

You love me, that's why

you wear that ugly sweater.

- Your games are stupid.

- My games are fun and funky, ok?

Who doesn't like

wearing festive sweaters?

Girls, I hate to ruin your

little menstruation session,

but we're not finding any way

in here so we gotta go round.

Can we get the hell out of here?

This isn't fun.

[Art] Stop being such a baby.

F*** you, Art!

You're gonna

speak to me like that?

Guys, come on, chill out.

Geez, sorry, everyone, let's go.

Whatever Bella wants,

come on, game over.

Whatever, Art.

Babe, I got you, ok?

So that's how you treat me now?

Why don't you just

calm the f*** down?

Don't talk to me like that.

- I'm just...

- I don't like this game.

I don't like all the games

you play either.

That's how this sh*t works,

you know this.

This place just freaks me

the f*** out.

That's the point, isn't it?

Come on, let's just go.

I bet there's someone in here.

Yeah and he's going

to come after you,

it'll be like freak vs. weirdo.

Which one is Art?

That farmer said

there's the occasional squatter.

Oh my God, imagine,

we could get

two of them to fight

and then live stream it.

We are out of service up here.

No, no, no, wait, we can make

them fight until they're dead

and then we can hang them

on the bridge

and wait for birds to eat them.

Ok, Margo,

this place is scary enough.

I mean, I'm down,

I'd crush a hobo, let's do it.

You guys are f***ed, like,

seriously f***ed in the head.

You don't really think there's

a squatter there, do you?

I don't know, only way

to find out is if we go in.

Let's go.

Let's look for a thick piece

of wood or a branch

and we can pry this off.

So smart.

[Art] All brains that guy.

Don't forget the looks

and muscle.

I'm the total package over here.

Ok, total package,

why don't you find us

a way to get in?

Hey, guys!

Think I found a way in.

Nice find, man!

Here we go.

[Bella] This is stupid

[Cutler] Come on,

just get used to it.

Holy sh*t!

What the f*** happened here?

Oh, sh*t.

Oh my f***ing god.

Oh my god it's an oven.

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