Killer Holiday Page #2

Done gone stupid

Well, they done gone stupid

and they keep on getting stupid.

Hey, guys, what are you doing?

Ain't fooling...

- Open the door.

- Ain't fooling...

Guys, come on.

Open the door.

Guys?

Guys, open the door!

Guys, there's something in here!

Guys, come on!

Open the door!

This is not funny!

Guys, open the door!

Open the door!

Get that opened up for you.

Ow .

Adam?

Adam?

Oh, you was in there?

You are so screwed.

Come on, bro,

we were just messing with you.

You good?

- Dude!

- Hey, come on, man.

The darn door give me

a new manicure.

Got paint on my fingers.

- God damn it!

- Splinters on my toes.

Come on, dog.

You ain't even got a good comeback?

I'm kinda jealous.

You guys are idiots sometimes, I swear.

You know,

it's 5:
00 and this is the first--

what the hell is that?

A piece of corn.

I think there that's a piece of corn.

- Come on, bro.

- It's about time!

Jack, I told you not to be

eating that stuff.

Hey, Taylor, I'm driving.

Move out the way.

Move out the way.

Hey, kids!

Hey, kids!

Yo, hey.

What's-- what's up?

Well, I was back there

listening to my CB

and apparently someone's gotten

killed up on the highway.

Got themselves killed.

And now traffic's all backed up

all the way to Corn County.

- Accident?

- Nope, somebody cut him up.

They got cut up really good.

And if I were you

I'd get off this road.

Unless you're not busy

for a month or two.

Hey, guys, somebody got killed.

What? Ew.

Well, killed?

We should probably go.

Well, according

to the freak back there,

traffic's backed up

all the way to Corn County.

I can get us around this.

Let's take the back roads.

I want you to get these

to central, okay?

- You've got it.

- Okay.

- Bodrogi.

- What's that?

Bodrogi.

Oh sh*t.

- Jesus.

- Through and through.

You think.

Where's the girl?

She's on spring break with her friends.

The lake or the hot springs?

The lake.

We got a park ranger standing by.

God.

Heep me up to speed.

I want anything

- the minute you get it.

- You got it, sir.

Gotta feel bad for the girl.

You're already dead.

You're already dead.

Guys, listen, quiet!

Itsy-bitsy spider

Climbed up the water spout...

And washed the spider out.

Damn! Stop messing

with the radio!

God, that was weird!

Sh*t, now I don't have

any cell reception out here!

- Oh sh*t.

- What the hell?

- Huh?

- What was that?

I gotta check the tires.

Weird.

The tires are fine.

What the hell was that?

Guys, I think we snapped it.

You think it was electrified?

There's an end over here.

Give me that.

Look, it's not like

we're on anybody's

property out here.

- Is it?

- Forget the wire. Let's go.

Look, Madison.

Oh!

You think it's open?

Yeah, like 30, 40 years ago.

Let's go check

this place out, huh?

How many places are we gonna stop

before we get to the lake?

- Where is it?

- 4.2 miles.

- We can read.

- Let's go.

- Stop!

- Adam, are you scared?

Come on, Adam,

I'll hold your hand for the ride.

Oh, hold on there now.

Hold on, I say.

Don't you come any closer.

All right.

I want you to take this thing,

turn around

and get the hell out of here.

Look, we're not trying

to bother you or anything.

We're just trying

to go through, please.

What's the matter with you, boy?

Didn't you hear a word I just said?

Turn it around

and get the hell gone!

- What's going on here?

- Get back in the motor home.

Don't make me use this.

Now go on and get

the hell out of here!

Okay, we're going.

We're going. Go!

Well, we're going in the wrong

direction, that's for sure.

Trevor, screw this.

Turn around.

Guys, let's go back.

We should go back home.

No, we should go back

to the old guy and be friendly.

- Bring him some food or something.

- Food?

Madison, he had a shotgun. If he wanted

food, he would have taken it from us.

He doesn't have a right to stop us

from driving. He doesn't own the road.

Guys, the wire's

been tripped, right?

Why don't we just drive past his place

really fast and he won't even know.

Mmm, Derrick's in.

- You know what? I need a drink.

- Hey, get me one.

Seatjack, oooh.

Oh yeah.

Well, hello there!

- Hello hello hello!

- This can't be good.

Well, welcome back.

I'm Henry Lee.

How are you all doing?

You decide to take me up

on my offer?

I want you to take this thing,

turn it around and get

the hell out of here.

Y'all decide to take me

up on my offer?

Hmm?

- Maybe?

- Well

you're going to go down

the road here a ways

and it's going

to veer off to the right.

About a half mile, you're gonna come

across a wonderful little campsite

right across

from the amusement park.

Fire pit, no water though.

You folks got plenty of water?

I thought you were

pissed off at us.

I was just playing with you.

No, uh, you misinterpreted

what I said.

Get the hell gone!

Now go on!

But you're welcome to stay. I can even

get you some water if you want to.

- Well, that's right kind of you.

- Derrick!

You live here?

Uh, yes, miss, I do.

I take care of the theme park.

I keep it clean.

What's left of it, anyway.

Used to have a sheep ranch here,

but, uh--

- I had 5,000 head at one time.

- Baa!

Baa!

You know sheep are just

about the dumbest animals

you'll ever want to meet.

Well, you kids take care now.

- Baaa!

- It's just up the road a piece,

- about a half a mile.

- Baa!

That's right,

and come back for water

- if you need water.

- Baa!

And you can pet my sheep

if you want to.

Yeah, it's pretty hot.

Yeah, knock it off. Seriously.

God.

Yeah, seriously, dude.

Chill out.

Cammi--

- I'm sorry.

- Oh ho ho!

- Bumper cars? Where do we get in?

- This is creepy.

Oh, this is wicked.

Taylor, weren't you born

in a bumper car?

Taylor, weren't you born

in a bumper car?

- How do we get in?

- Hmmm.

Move back. Move.

Scoot. Move.

Oh my God!

- Oh my God!

- Okay, Taylor.

- Okay.

- Hello, it's closed for a reason!

- This place is insane!

- Taylor!

- It's--

- Definitely abandoned for a while.

I think this is where we go in.

You wear contacts, huh?

Yo, guys, we have to check this out!

Come on!

- You want to go in?

- Sure.

- Ew, I don't think so!

- You're not coming in?

- No.

- You guys going in?

We're going to go check out

this other place. Come on.

Whoa.

Damn.

I wonder if any

of these rides still work.

It's so damp.

Dude, really?

These spider webs, man!

What's that smell?

Madison, we are now entering

the Bottle Tree Maze.

This is so cheesy.

- Come on.

- I'm not going in there.

- Maddy, let's go.

- No, it's dirty.

- Maddy, come on.

- No.

Taylor!

Ugh! Taylor!

This is just a trip.

Eww, it's wet.

Tin man walking.

Everything's just left

the way it was when it was open.

Muerto?

Okay, so there's a lot of bottles.

Taylor? Taylor!

Guys! Guys, look!

Guys.

Guys, look!

Guys. Guys.

Guys guys!

Guys, look! Guys!

Guys! Guys!

Guys guys guy-- okay.

Look.

No, guys guys! Wait wait!

One more!

Sh*t.

- Yeah, it worked.

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