Killer Klowns from Outer Space Page #4

Well...

whoop dee goddamn dee do.

What do we have here?

Well, son,

I think you made a big mistake.

You're in Mooney's territory now.

For me?

I ought to shoot you right now,

you red-nosed freak.

So you want to play games, eh?

Turn around!

All right.

I'm supposed to read you

your rights,

but you're in Mooney's jail...

...and you ain't got no rights.

All right, buster.

God.

Hey, Officer Mooney,

come on, let us out of here.

Are we going to be here

all night or what?

Yeah. We get

one phone call, don't we?

- Right. I'm going to call my--

- Shut up!

Get your hands up.

Get in there.

I don't know who you are,

but before this night's over,

you're going

to be begging for mercy.

What are you in for?

- Mooney!

Police department. Hello?

Mooney?

Mooney, you back here?

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Hey, Dave,

who was the lady I saw

you with last night?

Don't worry, Dave.

All we want to do is kill you.

C.C.P.D.,

this is Marlborough State Police.

Dave, Curt, are you there? Over.

Jack, Jack,

we need your assistance.

The town's gone crazy.

People are being killed. Over.

What's all these reports

about circus clowns?

These clowns aren't people.

They're some kind of creatures,

things from another planet.

Jack, they're killing people.

Officer Mooney is dead.

I know. I saw it. He was

killed by one of these things.

Could you send all available units

immediately, please? Over.

Come on, Jack!

OK, calm down, buddy.

Help is on the way.

Debbie.

Calling all clowns, calling all clowns.

This is Jojo.

Are there any space clowns out there?

You guys, will you

stop fooling around?

Look, Mike, come on.

Cocoons, popcorn guns,

monster shadows.

Ooh! I mean,

what do you think we are?

We're not as stupid as we look.

This isn't the first wild thing

you've tried to put over on us.

Look, you remember Hidden Lake?

Oh, come on, forget Hidden Lake.

This has nothing to do

with Hidden Lake.

We would have to be

total morons

to believe

this clown invasion crap.

If there are killer clowns

running around here,

then I'm Porky Pig.

Get the hell out of here.

Ah!

Ah!

Debbie, Debbie,

it's Mike. Open up.

Mike?

Debbie, Debbie, Debbie.

Ah!

OK, see this white house

right over here?

- Take a right-- I mean a left right here.

- A left?

- Right.

- Right.

No, left! Left!

The house right up...

Holy sh*t. What is that?

Uh-oh.

Wow. Look at that.

Mike!

Come on, we can't lose them!

They got Debbie!

Hey, Mike!

Come on, Rich, we're losing them.

Can you go a little bit faster?

Come on, Mike,

what do you want?

This is an ice cream truck.

Hey, Rich, the cops!

Stop the truck!

Ah!

Sh*t, Rich, now you did it.

I did it? What do you mean?

You told me to stop.

I didn't. I told you to pull over.

No, you didn't.

You said stop, so I stopped.

I meant pull over.

If you meant pull over,

you should have said pull over.

Why don't you say

what you mean next time?

Come on, let's go see

what happened.

Dave, are you OK?

Oh, God.

Oh, f***. What the hell

are you guys doing?

They got Debbie.

Get in the truck, pal.

Gee, officer, I'm really sorry.

I was feeling a little queasy.

Hey, Mike, which way

were they heading?

They went that way,

but now we lost them.

I don't know where they went.

I do. If you were a clown,

where would you hide?

The amusement park!

' - Great!

- - All right!

The park's closed.

I'll have to ask you to leave.

What are you going to do

with those pies, boys?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Everybody stick together.

She's gone.

Wow. Hey, you guys,

this is weird.

Look at this stuff.

Looks like a wad

of melted ice cream.

Yeah, well, it's not.

on, sh*t.

Yeah.

Come on.

Mike, you take this and follow me.

All right, now, you guys,

no fooling around.

Stick together, OK?

What the hell's in here?

Ooh, scary!

Dave,

did you get through for help?

Yeah. Yeah, help is on the way.

You tell them it was an invasion?

I told them,

but I don't really believe it myself.

Where did they come from?

Why are they here?

Why, why clowns?

They're not clowns.

They're some kind of animal

from another world

that just look like clowns.

Sh*t, Dave.

Dave, maybe they're

the ancient astronauts

that came to our planet

centuries ago,

and our idea of clowns

just comes from them.

Well, how come they're not funny?

Maybe they're

from a dying planet.

Maybe their sun pooped out

and they need a new place to live.

Maybe they're using us

for experiments to dissect and study.

So that means they're intelligent.

So why don't they

communicate with us?

I mean, talk to us

instead of killing us?

Maybe they're just

cruising through the galaxy

and stopped here

for a bite to eat.

Yeah. Look, everybody,

let's just hold off

on the talking, OK?

Let's not give ourselves away.

What are we gonna do

when we find them?

- Can we kill 'em?

- Yeah. You shoot 'em in the nose.

Hey, watch this.

Cool.

Whoo!

What happened?

- What did you do?

- I didn't do anything.

Look, don't touch anything, OK?

This place is probably

booby-trapped.

All right now,

look you guys, stay together.

I don't want to have

to find you, too.

No problem.

We can handle it.

Yeah. OK.

All right, let's go.

Where'd they go?

Come on, Rich, Paul.

Hey, look, don't worry

about the Terenzi brothers.

They do this all the time.

Those guys are like cats.

They always land

on their feet.

' Oh! Ah!

" Ooh!

Are you Debbie's roommates?

Wait a second.

I recognize this place.

This is the tent

that Debbie and I were in.

Come on!

Go, Mike.

OK, this is where

we were before.

Oh, this is incredible.

Looks like they got

the whole town.

We got to find her.

What color balloon was she in?

Uh... Yellow.

All right.

Sh!

See anything, Mike?

No.

This is impossible, Mike.

Sh. Quiet.

Move back.

Paul was right, man.

They are hungry.

They're gonna eat everybody, man!

Just calm down.

Just calm down, all right?

We got to find Debbie

before it's too late.

All right.

Hey. Hey, that's the one.

The yellow balloon.

Is she in there?

Yeah, she's in there!

Debbie!

- She's alive.

- Thank God.

How do we get her

out of here?

I don't know.

Careful, Mike.

Damn it!

Debbie. Honey.

- Hang on a sec, Mike.

- Damn!

- What are you doin'?

- Just stand back, Mike.

You can't shoot.

You could kill her.

Well, just back off, all right?

Now, just get ready to run.

Are you all right?

Are you OK?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I couldn't breathe.

It's OK. Hey, Mike,

hang on to her for a second.

Oh, God. We got to get

the hell out of here.

Come on, Debbie.

Come on, come on.

Oh, come on. Come on.

Wait a second, guys.

We can't leave.

There might be other people still alive

in these balloons.

Come on, it's too late!

Dave!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Shoot him!

This way. Come on.

Yeah, come on.

What now?

Everybody, down.

We don't know

what's down here.

Come on, Mike.

Nobody's gonna put me

in a balloon again.

Come on, Mike.

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