Killing Gunther Page #8

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I converted to islam. My choice.

It wasn't because rahmat

threatened to kill me if I didn't.

But did he, though?

- Yes.

- Yeah.

You are my son now. Hmm?

You know, I've killed many

people. I've taken many lives.

Is daddy being silly?

Is he being silly?

But Ava is the first life

that I've ever given.

And, you know, in a way

she's given me life, too.

Because my dad now

has someone else

to focus all that affection on.

Okay, there she is! There

she is! Okay! Okay!

- Who knew he had more to give?

- Come here!

Where is my little goddess!

Where's my little goddess?

Yes. That face! I would...

she fell from the

sky, into my arms!

Oh, my god! I can't get

enough. I really can't.

Blake? No, I haven't

heard from Blake at all.

No, the only thing I heard about that

night was what you guys told me.

I feel like I betrayed Blake. I

have a lot of guilt about that.

Not only because I...

Failed him...

But because I've actually never

been happier in my entire life.

And I owe that to Blake.

When I got the wedding invitation

from Lisa, i was like... finally.

But... it wasn't him.

It was some other guy.

I met David through one

of our regular clients.

He's great. He's

smart and funny.

He sells time shares.

And he wants a family.

He loves me.

When I got Blake's letters,

I thought that he had changed,

but that night proved

that he hadn't.

I'm not mad. Um...

It's good to have some

closure, actually.

And I don't know what

happened to him.

I don't really care.

For all I know, him and

Gunther killed one another,

because Gunther certainly

hasn't come after me.

Guess who.

Well, I retired from

the killing game.

As a matter of fact, Blake was

going to be my one last kill,

but I just couldn't find

that son of a b*tch.

I planned on killing Lisa, too.

But then I came up

with a better plan.

I said to myself, what would

hurt Blake more than death?

She doesn't know it yet,

but I was the one that introduced

Lisa to her new husband.

And a very special

thank-you to sue,

who set us up on our first date.

But life is great.

I mean, I kind of

took my own advice,

and I started over.

I moved back to my

home country, Austria,

and I bought a beautiful

chalet. Look at this.

And it's still under construction, because

it's two months late with the remodeling.

But don't get me

going on that one.

Now, if I ever change my mind

and want to whack someone,

that f***ing contractor

is gonna get terminated.

That I can tell you.

Now the great thing is,

I'm now running a garden

co-op for retirees.

It's called "reifes alter,"

which basically means,

"ripe old age."

We're growing organic vegetables

and selling it at

the farmers market,

and all the proceeds go to the

pleasant Eve retirement home.

Ow!

And I'm also coaching a

girls field hockey team.

And we ranked number

one in the district,

but we did lose the

state championships.

But of course, we don't

listen to the naysayers.

We never give up.

Boom-boom-boom!

But what I'm most proud of is

that I rediscovered

my first love.

Music.

Country-western music.

I have a George strait kind of a

sound, if you know what I mean.

I even built a recording

studio in my own house,

and I just released my

first single online

under the name of cord billmont.

I'm coming for

you, Brad Paisley.

Trust me.

There you have it,

the new Gunther.

Happy ending.

And, great.

That's it.

That's all you need?

Yeah. No, I think we got it.

Thank you so much, again,

for letting us come by.

Absolutely.

Oh, you never found Blake, huh?

No, he disappeared

completely without a trace.

Hmm. Of course.

Well, I'm actually impressed

that you found me.

Because I had to move out

of my house that night.

I mean, there were cops all

over the f***ing place.

I was so f***ing angry.

It was such a huge mess.

I was pissed off.

And Blake better spend the

rest of his life running.

Because if I ever

see him again...

I did it! I did it! I

killed him. Did you see it?

- Yeah, I saw it.

- You saw it, right? You saw me do it?

- Can we please go home now?

- I killed him!

Blake!

- This is for Max, izzat, and

yong and Mia and barold.

- No, Blake, we just...

- and Ashley!

- Sure, Ashley. Let's go home.

- I, Blake hammon, killed Gunther.

- It's over. We did it.

- And if anybody doubted...

- hold on. Wait.

- What?

What's that sound?

Sh*t, he's good...

okay.

Yeah, yeah, here, 'cause I

have to tell you. Here we go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was

some pretty good singing.

Okay, here's the second verse.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah. Here she goes again.

-Okay, that was good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

that was perfect.

The first take is the last take.

No, I don't want to do it again.

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