Kindergarten Cop Page #5

Let me get this...

and I'll be right out.

Oh!

It's okay, honey.

I'll be right out.

It's my birthday.

Well, congratulations.

Thanks. He came up here

just to surprise me.

And he made me my favorite...

pasta a olio.

I love you, Henry.

I love you, too, Phoebes.

Uh... Well, I've got

to head back tonight.

I've got to work.

Henry's a chef.

I'm a chef.

You're marrying a chef?

I'm marrying

a great chef.

That figures.

You mean that,

a great chef?

Of course.

You're a genius, Henry.

Not just a good chef?

Well, nice to meet you.

Congratulations.

Happy birthday.

Thanks.

You want some of this?

It wasn't overcooked?

You're the best.

It wasn't a little overcooked?

No. Al dente.

Zach.

Excuse me. I'm John Kimble,

Zach's teacher.

I didn't know

he was following me.

Hi. I've been leaving messages

on your machine.

I'm sorry.

Things have been hectic.

What about now?

Uh...

Go for a little walk.

Your teacher and I

have to talk.

Uh...

I know what this is about.

I suppose you saw

the bruises on Zach's legs?

My husband has started

counseling about this.

He's been going

for three weeks now.

Please don't bring

the school system into it.

It will make matters worse.

He's beating you, too?

If he wasn't going

to counseling...

I could see the point

of saying something...

but I'm sure there won't be

any more occurrences.

You won't say anything,

will you?

Please?

If he does it again,

I press charges.

Zach.

You got the stuff?

Thanks, man.

Here, lady.

I gave her your stuff.

Where's the rest of my money?

Who are you, old lady?

Your fairy godmother.

Come in.

Hi. It took all day...

but I found out Zach Sullivan

and his mother...

aren't related to Crisp.

I just found out.

Oh. I got a bottle of wine

for your big date...

It's not a date, I know.

But Joyce shouldn't think that.

Thanks. I don't think

it's a good idea.

Quickest way to slip up

doing undercover work

is doing things

you normally wouldn't do.

Wait a minute.

You mean you wouldn't take wine

to a woman

who's invited you for dinner?

Of course you would.

And flowers as well.

Here you go.

She'll love them.

Well, here we are.

Wow. This is

quite a place.

They must be paying you

a lot more than

they're paying me.

I wish it was my house.

It belongs to a friend of mine.

After the divorce,

he said we could stay here

in exchange

for keeping the place up.

You must have nice friends.

Yes, I do.

Dinner won't be ready

for a few minutes.

Can you start a fire?

It shouldn't be a problem.

I'll show you

where the wood is.

Come on. Come on!

Right here.

In here.

This is my secret hiding spot.

Wow.

This is amazing.

I made it myself.

What's this?

Don't touch that!

It's a laser...

and it'll burn a hole

right through you.

Okay. I'll be careful.

Oh, don't shoot.

- Boom! Boom!

- Don't shoot.

I put up these lasers

to protect us.

To protect you from what?

The bad people.

Do you want to see

something else?

Come on.

What?

See that?

You mean the tower?

I'm going to plant one

of my lasers on that antenna.

But I'll have to do it at night.

Otherwise the bad people

will know where it is.

Last one to the table

is a rotten banana!

Have you guys had fun?

Yeah. Be right out!

What you doing in there?

I'm lost.

Where is the dining room?

This house is huge.

- Follow me, silly.

- Whew.

These are beautiful pictures

of you and Dominic.

Thank you.

When I was putting

Dominic to bed...

he mentioned you had a son, too.

That's right.

But I'm divorced.

I'm lucky. My ex got remarried

to a very nice man.

He's really good to my son.

I see him a lot.

What about your ex-husband?

Does he see Dominic a lot?

Uh, no. After the divorce,

he moved back to France.

What about child support

and alimony?

Does he take care of you?

I'm sorry about

being so personal.

I was so glad to see him go

I didn't worry

about that part.

Dominic doesn't even remember him.

I prefer it that way.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Why?

Well, Dominic was talking to me

about having to move around a lot

to keep the bad people away.

Bad people?

Something about having to leave

in the middle of the night

and leave his toys behind.

Oh, God.

I thought he'd

forgotten about that.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to upset you.

It's not your fault.

The truth is, my ex-husband

is a walking nightmare.

He didn't leave us, we left him.

He found out where we were

and tried to kidnap Dominic.

He doesn't know where we are now...

and I'd like to keep it that way.

Of course.

I'm glad he's in France

and doesn't live nearby.

He doesn't live in France.

I told Dominic

that he lived in France.

I didn't know who my ex-husband was

when I married him.

I was young and stupid,

and I made a mistake.

I don't want Dominic

to pay for it.

Look, nobody around here

knows anything about this.

I can't even believe

I told you.

You have to promise me

you won't tell anyone.

You can trust me.

That's very good. Perfect.

Okay. Let's try it again.

Mary, you first.

Fourscores and seven years ago.

Fourscores and seven years ago.

Our forefathers brought...

Four fathers?

Mr. Kimble, did Lincoln

have four fathers?

Uh...

I had three fathers...

One named Walt,

two named Ralph.

Did Lincoln have

four mothers?

As a matter of fact,

he had two mothers.

Unfortunately,

the first one died.

I knew it.

Um... Okay.

Let's take a break.

Come on.

I want you to walk around

in a circle. Go.

Start. Come on.

Well, Joyce's story

about the house checked out.

It belongs to a guy

who only uses it

during the ski season.

She's got under $1,000

in the bank...

no stocks, no bonds, no other assets

under the name Joyce Paulmarie.

Her teacher's salary is less than mine,

which is pathetic.

Keep looking. Check for offshore

accounts under Dominic's name...

She doesn't live like someone

with millions of dollars.

She doesn't even

seem the type.

Kimble, this might not be her.

It's got to be her.

Why? Because she

doesn't want to have

anything to do

with her ex-husband?

I know it's her.

Know what I think?

You want it to be her.

You really like her,

and it's scaring you.

Excuse me!

Surprise!

Ladies!

Ladies, surprise.

Obviously, I'm not

into baking cakes...

so I brought

these little things

to donate

for the raffle prizes.

Who the hell is that?

She's the one

I was telling you about.

Her husband ran away

with another guy.

It's been terrible for her.

You're not getting

mellow on me, are you?

3, 4.

1, 2, 3...

Hi.

Come on. 1, 2, 3, 4.

Come on. Go, go.

I see they stuck you

with the Gettysburg Address this year.

They sure did.

Company, halt!

Um...

About last night...

I've been thinking

about it, and...

I'm glad I told you

all those things.

So am I.

Um... I-I better

get going.

Yeah. I have

to get going, too.

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

See you tomorrow at the fair.

I'm looking forward to it.

What are you looking at?

Ha ha ha!

Shh!

March! 1, 2, 3, 4.

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