Kindergarten Cop Page #4

of the clam chowder.

Uh, and the blueberry pie

with ice cream for dessert.

Ja.

I like how they talk.

I've been trying to get to

know the parents...

but some of them

are avoiding me.

Some of them

are like that.

It's a strange town that way...

especially with new arrivals.

What do you mean?

I think a lot of people

that come to small towns

are trying to get

away from something

or they're

hiding something.

Like what?

Well, for example,

what brought you here?

Me? Well,

there was an opening

for a kindergarten teacher.

Yeah, but what made you

become a kindergarten teacher?

I mean, it is a bit unusual.

John is a bit unusual.

Well...

You are.

I was born in Austria.

My father was a teacher.

My mother was a teacher.

So is Ursula.

Ja.

We have a tradition in Austria

where we follow

the footsteps of our parents.

So when I moved

to this country...

I taught geography

and physical education

in Arizona...

and then I coached basketball

at an all-girls school

in Rhode Island, but...

none of it made me

really happy.

Why weren't you happy?

Ja. Why weren't you happy?

Well, I got tired of

teaching teenagers...

because by the time

they came to me...

I felt there wasn't

much I could do with them.

I realized that the real action

is in kindergarten.

How long have you been

teaching kindergarten?

It's my second day.

Oh.

Ooh, excuse me,

but it's good.

It is good.

Thanks again.

Nice to meet you.

Thank you.

Bye.

I had a great time.

Ja, me, too.

Well, Kimble,

I think you scored.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What are you talking about?

I'm only interested in her

because she works

at the school.

She knows the children

and the parents.

If you were any stiffer...

we could take you surfing.

Now, I know you

like that woman.

What is your problem?

The only problem I've got

is that I'm doing your job.

You should be

cleaning up the paint

and reading stories

about bears that go shopping.

I'm stuck with your job.

Yeah. You are.

That's right. I am.

Look, you're going

to be out of here

in a few days.

You told me yourself

you had a few good leads.

You'll be back dealing

with junkies and murderers

in no time.

They're pushing me around.

Who?

The kids.

They're walking all over me.

Listen, Kimble.

You got to handle this

like any other police situation.

You walk into it showing fear...

you're dead...

and those kids know you're scared.

No fear.

No fear.

Today we're going to play

a new fun game.

It's called "police school."

I'm going to be your sheriff.

You're going to be

my deputy trainees.

Come on.

Stop whining.

You kids are soft.

You lack discipline.

Well, I've got news for you.

You are mine now.

You belong to me!

You're not going to have

your mommies here

to wipe your tushies.

Oh, no.

It's time to turn

this mush into muscles.

No more complaining.

No more, "I have to go

to the bathroom."

There is no bathroom!

Now, the first thing the

deputy trainees have to learn

is to freeze

whenever you hear this.

Now, the next time you hear

this whistle...

each one of you get

one toy.

How many?

One!

Good. Then bring it back

to the carpet...

pronto.

Ready?

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Sit down.

Ready?

Go quickly.

Get your toy.

Go.

Go for it.

Yes. Very fast.

Good. Quickly.

Bring the toy

back to the carpet.

Bring it back

to the carpet.

Quick, quick, quick.

Back to the carpet.

Quickly.

Emma.

Emma...

take your toy

to the carpet.

I'm not a policeman.

I'm a princess.

Take your toy

back to the carpet.

I'm not a policeman!

I'm a princess.

Take it back!

All right.

Very good.

You did very well.

Now we're going to

play another game.

When you hear

two whistle blows...

take your toy back

where you got it

and come right back.

How many whistle blows?

- Two!

- Two!

Good. Ready?

Go.

Come on.

Come right back

to the carpet.

Yes. It works.

This is great.

Faster, faster.

Come on.

Yes. Come back. Terrific.

This is working. Wait.

I mean, you're

very good deputies.

Your sheriff

is proud of you.

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

Wait! Take me.

Down. Up. Down.

Yes, yes, yes!

You've got it.

Yes, Wanda. Good.

Very good.

Big circles. Big circles.

Good.

Now do the same thing.

Way back.

And down in big circles.

Big circles.

Yes.

This is a fire drill!

This is a fire drill.

Run to the door.

Dominic, don't forget Ferret.

Yes. It's a fire drill.

Come on.

Oh, this is terrible.

Come on. Come on.

One more.

Come on.

Down and up.

Yes!

Yes!

Zach is the winner.

Come on, you guys.

March, 2, 3, 4.

March, 2, 3, 4.

Swing your arms.

2, 3, 4.

Swing them high.

2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

Wow.

1, 2, 3, 4!

Reading, writing, arithmetic.

Reading, writing, arithmetic!

Too much homework

makes me sick.

Too much homework

makes me sick!

When it's time

to pass the test...

When it's time

to pass the test...

kindergarten is the best.

Kindergarten is the best.

Yay!

E-l-E-l-O

And on that farm

he had a duck

E-l-E-l-O

All right.

Take your milk.

It makes you big and strong.

It's story time, Mr. Kimble.

All right.

We all like this one...

and if you read us a story now...

everybody will go to sleep.

All right.

I used to read this to my son.

What's his name?

Who?

Your son.

Oh, Alex is his name.

Where is he?

He lives with his mother.

You see, his mother and I...

we are...

Divorced. I know.

What's a divorce?

It's when your daddy

lives someplace else

and comes over

to take you places...

and your mommy says

he's a deadbeat.

No. It's when the daddy

doesn't want to see

his little boy anymore.

That's not what it is.

Why don't you want to see

your little boy?

Was he bad?

No, he was not bad.

It wasn't his fault at all.

You see...

his mommy and I,

we just nev...

Just sit down, okay?

Let me just start reading.

Why don't you all lie down?

Okay.

Good. And rest.

"If you were a bird

and lived on high

you'd lean on the wind

when the wind came by.

You'd say to the wind

when it took you away...

That's where

I wanted to go today.

Where am I going?

I don't quite know.

What does it matter

where people go?

Down to the wood

where the bluebells grow.

Anywhere.

Anywhere.

I don't know."

Huh!

Hi.

Hi.

I didn't mean

to startle you.

I must have dozed off.

I can't believe you

got them all to sleep.

I worked them hard.

I was wondering if...

you'd like to come

to my place for dinner

tomorrow night.

I would like that.

Yes.

Great.

Well, here are

the directions.

How about 6:
30, 7:00?

That would be fine.

What?

Um...

You... You've got

a little mustache.

Oh, it must be

from the milk.

Well, I'd better

get back to class.

I'll see you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

Freeze!

No!

No.

This is Henry Shoop...

my fianc.

Hi.

Your fianc?

Yeah, my fianc.

Henry, this is

obviously my partner...

John Kimble.

Oh, jeez.

Uh...

Hi.

How you doing?

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