King Of California Page #5

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Okay, Leonid.

Just a sec.

Excuse me, ladies.

Hey, so do you want to go

check out my suits?

I've got a major selection.

Huh?

I mean, we look

like we're about the same size, huh?

Uh, I think I'm...

I'm sorry, I think I'm going

to have to pass on the hot tub.

Are you sure?

Lt'd be really nice.

That water's, like,

fruit scented.

It's pineapple...

# Summer breeze

makes me feel fine #

# Blowing through

the jasmine in my mind #

Actually, I changed my mind.

The hot tub sounds good.

It does, doesn't it?

All right, come on.

So, I'm guessing

a G-string is out.

What?

[Gasps]

Wait, I got the perfect thong.

[Humming]

- A thong?

- What? Oh, no, no.

- Look at this.

- No, no, no.

All right.

- I got it!

- Oh!

- Parrots?

- Oh.

Check it out.

Look at that.

No? Okay.

One more.

[Expels breath]

Okay, I hope you dig this.

- Dude!

- [Gasps]

Check it out.

Look at this.

Oh, hey, it's all right.

Are you sure

this is a virgin?

[Sniffs]

Oh, boy.

[Laughs]

You know, um,

there's this...

- [puking]

- Oh, Christ.

- Oh, okay.

- I'm so sorry.

[Men speaking foreign language]

## [Jazz]

[Pepper laughing]

[Coughing]

- Hi.

- Hey.

- What's happening?

- Ugh.

So, um... look

what I got for you.

One with your own name on it.

Good. Great.

No.

Come on, your credit rating is great.

No, Charlie. No.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

So, Pepper here,

he used to work

for an alarm service

company.

Was that before or after

you went to jail?

Before.

And Pepper, he knows

how those alarm systems work.

Wait, Charlie,

what did you tell him?

What did he tell you?

[Chuckling]

[Loud clatter]

[Men shouting]

- [Gasps]

- [Speaking foreign language]

[Banging]

Charlie?

[Police radio chatter]

Charlie!

[Flustered utterances]

Is this what I think it is?

Charlie, what did you do?

What is going on?

Uh, I got behind

in the third mortgage.

- I didn't even know there was a second.

- Well, sure.

There's a third

to pay the second,

a second to pay

the first, and so on.

- How'd you get this?

- "And so on"?

They're taking everything.

Miranda, did you go

to that orgy?

L... It was a barbecue.

[Knocking]

Are you sure nothing happened?

Something happened, didn't it?

The swingers, they

got to you, didn't they?

Goddamnit!

What've I done?

I'm supposed to be

your father, you know.

And here I am, throwing you

right into the lion's den.

You didn't.

It was my idea.

Just tell me.

When you went

to the bank,

what was the reason

you gave them

for why we needed

the money?

Home improvement.

Okay.

What about the second time?

Swimming pool.

Ah.

You know,

but the timing's perfect.

When is the timing ever good

for getting kicked out

of your house?

Think about it.

Yeah.

It's the Chinese thing.

Catastrophe

equals opportunity.

[Man]

Excuse me.

It's time for you to go.

[Miranda]

"From the journal of Father Torres,

"November 30, 1624.

"When the savages

were silent,

"that was when the company

was most affrighted.

"Evidently,

they were gathered

"around the entrance

to the cavern,

"awaiting such time

as our hunger

"might overwhelm good sense

"and force us

out into the open.

"Ofttimes perforce,

the officers were compelled

"to use their muskets,

firing over

the natives' heads."

I'm getting

really good vibes here.

[Whispering]

I can't believe we're doing this.

[Alarm sounding]

- Where are you going?

- Running away. What does it look like?

We gotta stick

with the plan.

- Come on!

- We gotta get out of here...

Oh, God! Oh, God!

Oh, God! Oh, God!

It's over here!

[Clang]

Up here!

Where's my glasses?

On your head!

[System dialing]

It's done.

[Pepper]

Where's the propane?

[Miranda]

Over here!

[Police sirens blaring]

[Alarm sounding]

Right here!

That ought to do it.

Where are you going?

Outside, remember?

L...

What are you doing?

You really sure

this is going to work?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No... No problems.

Pepper, he fixed

the alarm box

so it would read

like a gas leak.

- And if that's the case we don't...

- Ahh!

[Alarm stops]

[Police radio chatter]

[Man]

Panel says "gas leak."

Smell anything?

Yeah, I found it.

Propane bottles leaked.

[Canisters clanging]

Perfect.

[Whispering]

Shh, tat tat tat.

I think we should

stay here for a bit.

Breaking and entering

makes everything

taste... different.

Makes it taste,

um, livelier.

In those days they would've

used pitch pine torches.

It's got to be here

somewheres.

[Sniffing]

- [Charlie grunting]

- Do you smell that?

What?

Ammonia.

They must've cleaned

the floor.

They cleaned your X off.

That does it, then.

Oh, no, I-I know

where to dig.

No, it's...

it's right here.

- Here?

- Yes.

No, it's... it's...

It's here.

Charlie.

Miranda, we're going

to dig here.

Are you sure?

[Sighs]

[Chuckling]

Well, l... I guess I'd better be.

You got the walkie talkie?

Yeah.

Pepper, is it all clear?

Yeah.

Come in, Charlie.

Charlie, come in.

[Jackhammer rattling

in distance]

[Hammering stops]

[Police radio chatter]

Evening, sir.

What seems to be

the problem?

Motorcycle's not working?

We hit rebar.

Well, I think

I might've flooded it.

[Muted buzzing]

There's the throttle

right there.

I know. I know.

[Buzzing stops]

Hey, let me try.

[Engine starts]

Hey!

[Siren chirps]

[Metal clangs]

[Siren chirps]

[Beep]

[Beep]

Miranda.

Hey.

[Siren chirps]

[Siren chirps]

[Siren chirps]

Don't step on that.

[Thud]

Hello.

[Hollow thump]

- Ugh!

- Hmm.

What is that smell?

- Ugh.

- You must've hit the sewer line.

No, the sewer's all the way

on the other side of the store,

under pet care.

Current is stronger

than I thought it'd be.

That looks a lot

like sewage to me.

It's the underground river.

Just like the journal

said it would be.

Where are you going?

[Officer, P.A.]

Sir!

Come on, sir,

you're just wasting gas.

[Miranda]

Pepper.

- Come in, Pepper.

- [Foot steps squeaking]

Charlie?

This store is great.

It's got everything.

What are you doing?

That should

be long enough.

The journal says the passageway's

about 40 barras.

That's Spanish for "yards".

So it should be

about 120 feet.

People get killed all the time

doing stuff like this.

I need you to hold

the other end tightly.

Stop! You're jumping

into raw sewage.

This is not sewage, okay?

It's sulfur.

I noticed before

when I tested the water,

it's warmer than

the room temperature.

And this brown color indicates

an iron sulfite hot springs.

There's no reasoning with you.

You have an answer

for everything.

That really bothers you.

I was hoping that I wasn't

going to have to say this.

- What?

- Don't make me say it.

[Muffled]

All right, then.

There's no gold, okay?

There's no treasure.

You're about to jump

into a sewer.

This whole thing

is a delusion.

Sir, put your arms

out to your sides.

Sir... put your arms

all the way out to your sides,

like Jesus on the cross.

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