King Ralph Page #7

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Parliament wants me to resign.

Hale agrees.

MIRANDA:
Will you do it?

RALPH:
I've never done

anything important.

I usually bail out

long before that.

I am the king,

even if I shouldn't be.

I don't want to be the one who

embarrassed the whole country...

and had to crawl

out the back door.

King Ralph the Chickenhearted.

What do you think?

I'm in no position

to give advice.

I'm sorry about all the stuff

in the papers,

all the things

they've been saying--

Ralph, there's something

I have to tell you.

After we first met at the club,

Lord Graves came to see me.

Graves?

He offered me money

to help my family...

if I would see you

and compromise you in some way.

You went for it?

You let him bribe you?

-To begin with.

-I don't believe this.

Ever since I've been here,

I had people saying,

"Stay away from her.

She's no good.

"She's the wrong class."

I ignored them.

I kept telling myself

everything's gonna work out...

once they know you, once they

find out how great you are.

And all along,

you were setting me up!

What did they give you

for the night in the park?

After that night,

I gave Graves his money back.

I told him I was out.

I didn't know about the photos.

Yeah, right.

That's why I said

I couldn't see you anymore.

-lt would've been too dangerous.

-I wish I could believe that.

I don't expect you to...or to

believe that I've missed you.

I wish we could still

see each other.

I was stupid. I was offered

an easy way out of my problems,

and I took it without thinking

about the consequences.

I don't know what to think.

I've been over my head here.

The only thing

I was sure of was you.

You were England to me, Miranda.

[Knocking]

Come in.

You wanted to see me,

Your Majesty?

Yes, Gordon, I'd like something.

Anything, Your Majesty.

No.

RALPH:
Just an explanation.

I'll see what I can find out,

Your Majesty.

Maybe you can find out why it's

written in your handwriting.

I...don't know anything...

about...anything.

Don't worry.

It'll all come back to you.

-Hi.

-Good day, Your Majesty.

-Your Majesty.

-Got a second?

DUNCAN:
Yes. It's been

a disturbing day, hasn't it?

RALPH:
Yes, but that's

not why I wanted to see you.

I was thinking of something

you said to me once.

Most things go in one ear

and out the other,

but this stuck with me somehow.

You said you were nervous

when you first decided on me,

or something like that.

-Did I say that, Your Majesty?

-Yes, you did.

It's the word "decide"

that got me thinking.

-Did it, Your Majesty?

-Yes, it did.

-I'm the king, right?

-Yes, indeed.

And as my assistant

private secretary,

you are sworn to give me

whatever information...

I might need, aren't you?

-Yes, Your Majesty.

-All right, then, Phipps.

'Fess up.

You wanted to see me,

Your Majesty?

Yes, Ced. Come on in.

RALPH:
Have a seat.

I've been talking to Dunc

about something he said to me,

and it came out that

maybe there was another guy...

in line for the throne

besides me.

Is that true, Ced?

I'm afraid it is, Your Majesty.

Was his claim as strong as mine?

Almost, yes.

His great-grandfather had

an unfortunate evening...

with a parlor maid.

-So he was English?

-Yes.

Then why wasn't

he chosen over me?

He begged to be let off.

He insisted that

he was undeserving...

of such an exalted position.

In other words,

you just couldn't face it.

Yes, Your Majesty, I couldn't.

CEDRIC:
I didn't feel worthy,

and I have no children

to continue the line.

So I swore Phipps to silence...

and decided to stay on

as your private secretary.

Why? So you'd pick up

a few pointers just in case?

I was determined to help you

do the job so well...

that " just in case"

would never arise.

It's easier to whisper

advice from cover...

than to risk its merit

at the point of attack.

I am sorry, Your Majesty,

both for my deception

and my cowardice.

I ought to be pissed,

but what the hell.

I had nothing else going.

I didn't get shot.

Plus, you are a relative.

Thank you, Your Majesty,

for your tolerance.

Phipps, call the Prime Minister.

I want to address Parliament.

-Parliament?

-Parliament.

GRAVES:
My lords,

members of the House of Commons,

His Majesty, Ralph l,

by the grace of God,

king of the United Kingdom...

of Great Britain

and Northern Ireland...

head of the Commonwealth,

defender of the faith.

Please be seated.

My lords and members

of the House of Commons,

I know it's unusual for a king

to address Parliament,

but I have some things to say,

and I must say them firsthand.

As you all know, I've made

some terrible mistakes lately--

mistakes which

have shamed England...

and cost its workers

some badly needed jobs.

I have no excuse for my actions.

I know I can't undo

what's been done.

I can only try

to make up for it somehow.

With that in mind,

I placed a call last night...

to King Mulambon of Zambezi.

[Murmuring]

I am happy to be able

to announce that Zambezi...

will begin full production

of Africa's first car...

by the end of the year,

and in a deal worked out

with Prime Minister Hale,

all of the engines will be built

right here in England.

[Cheering]

Good thing we had him around.

The plan calls

for the opening...

of three new plants

in the northeast.

In addition, Zambezi wants

to buy &200 million worth...

of English heavy equipment...

to help in the mining of

their vast national resources.

[Cheering]

Yeah!

As happy as I am about all this,

it doesn't make up

for my shortcomings as a king.

I have done my best

to learn the ways of royalty,

to try to be the kind of king

you could be proud of.

But I'm afraid my best

will never be good enough.

Too often, my personal instincts

conflict with my obligations.

For that reason, I have decided

to give up my throne.

[Murmuring]

But before I go, there are some

things I want to set straight.

Ever since I became king,

a member of this house

has worked to discredit me,

hoping that his family

would return to the throne.

The so-called scandalous

photographs you heard about...

were taken and delivered

to the king of Finland...

by a man working

for Lord Percival Graves.

This is an outrage,

a vile piece of slander!

I demand to knowthe source

of these accusations!

We have the confession of

a royal page, Gordon Halliwell,

who worked with Lord Graves.

I know no such man.

And several checks made out

to the photographer,

signed by Lord Graves,

whose fingerprints were also

on the photographs.

So? I sawthem at the ball.

RALPH:
Scotland Yard found

the negatives in his house.

[Murmuring]

By what right

can you order my arrest?

By the Treason Act of 1702...

forbidding interference with the

proper succession of a monarch,

enacted by--

[Whispering]

Charlie, Charlie, James again.

William III.

CROWD:
Shame! Shame!

Shame!

That's right!

String him up, wanker!

I didn't bring this out

to defend my behavior,

but when I embarrassed England,

it was unintentional.

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