King Rat Page #5

- Who was it?

That's Griffiths. He owns this cell.

I hired it at 3 bucks an hour.

- You don't get nothing for nothing.

- You hired the cell?

Griffiths is a smart cookie.

Thousands of guys here, right?

No peace and quiet. Griffiths hires it

out for anybody wants to do a Garbo.

I bet this wasn't his original idea.

There's no pulling the wool

over your eyes, is there?

How much you make on it, corporal?

Just an honest 10 percent.

Check the door seals, Tex.

This smell gets out,

we can get torn apart.

I think just a little more salt.

What do you think, sir?

I wouldn't know. I'm drooling so much

I lost my sense of taste.

Pete?

- Well, just a dash, just a dash.

- May I? May I?

You may be right.

Only a touch, mind.

Yes, well, thanks for licking

the spoon.

Now, come on, you've got to tell us,

where did you get it?

It's... It's Hawkins' dog.

- Mother of God. Hawkins' dog?

- You said pig.

- Now, don't kid us, will you?

- No, but you said pig.

No, you said pig. I didn't say anything.

Good night!

Oh, God, I don't know

what I'm gonna do.

What's the difference?

Dog, pig, what's the big difference?

Meat's meat.

He's quite right. There's nothing

wrong with eating dog.

- The Chinese eat them all the time.

- We're not Chinese.

- You're hungry, aren't you?

- That's not the point. It isn't any dog.

- This is Hawkins' dog.

- Now, wait a minute.

Just because you know it,

that makes the difference?

Boy, that's really British hairsplitting.

- Why don't you smell it?

- We don't need to smell it.

It's the greatest thing since Bisto.

It isn't that. It's what Pete said.

It is, huh?

Did you ever eat live lobster?

Take a fish out of the water,

put it straight in the pan?

Or what about them

geese they got back in Europe?

They nail their feet down,

then force corn down their gullets...

...through a funnel till their livers burst.

So don't tell me about Hawkins' dog.

Now, you don't want to eat it, just sit

there and watch. It's a free prison.

I suppose nothing so shocking about it

if you rationalize it.

I say there's a difference.

This is Hawkins' dog.

Correction, it was Hawkins' dog.

Now it's just meat.

You tasted it, didn't you?

Well, didn't you?

Tasted good, didn't it?

So, what are you pussyfooting about?

You've already eaten it.

Are we?

Are we under starter's orders?

Think fast. Off you go, lads.

Well, that's it for another day.

...541 pounds of rice

issued at 4 ounces per man.

One bag was short 10 pounds with a

balance of 20 and a quarter pounds.

- Dysentery?

- Yes. Got it back bad today, sir.

- Thank you, sir. See you next week.

- Yes. Take care now.

- Don't bother.

- Sorry, sir. Careless.

This weight's been tampered with.

What? That's impossible. Let me see.

No, it's not been tampered with.

This is merely a corrective hole.

This weight was probably a fraction

heavier than it's supposed to be.

You had me worried there

for a moment.

- They've all been tampered with!

- They're corrective.

Don't give me that. I know enough

about weights and measures...

...to know holes aren't allowed,

no corrective holes.

If the weight's wrong, it's never issued.

- What do you know about this?

- Why, nothing, sir.

- I don't believe you.

- You can't accuse me, sir.

- I don't know anything about it.

- We'll put it to the test, shall we?

I'm gonna go outside

and show everybody this...

...and we'll see what they do.

- Now wait a minute, sir.

You're right. But it wasn't me, sir.

It was the colonel.

He caught me pinching some rice.

Said he'd turn me in...

...if I didn't help him.

- Shut up, you fool!

You're not gonna listen to that.

The fool's trying to implicate me.

- I had no idea this was going on.

- But he's got the key, sir.

The key to the safe,

where the weights are.

- It couldn't have been me, sir.

- Shut up, Blakeley!

Now shut up, do you hear me?

How long have these weights been

in use, colonel? A year, two years?

I have no idea. If they're fixed,

it's nothing to do with me.

But you have the key

and keep them locked up?

Yes, but that doesn't...

Have you looked

at the bottom of the weights?

- No, I haven't.

- Well, isn't that a bit odd?

No, it isn't. I won't be

cross-questioned, lieutenant.

You'd better be telling the truth,

colonel.

Are you threatening me? If you are,

I'll have you court-martialed.

I don't know. I'm here legally.

The weights have been tampered with.

- Haven't they?

- I suppose so, yes, but...

- Right.

- That doesn't mean...

I'll tell you what it means.

It means you or Blakeley is responsible.

- You're the only two allowed here.

- It wasn't me. I swear to God.

- I only got one pound in 10.

- You shut up!

Please, sir, don't say anything.

They'll tear us to pieces.

- I hope they do, Blakeley.

- Listen, Grey, we can sort this out.

Maybe someone has meddled with

them, but the amount is insignificant.

Look, Blakeley, wait outside.

Stay where you are, Blakeley.

There's no need for Blakeley to go,

is there, sir?

No. Walls don't have ears.

You'll get a pound of rice a week.

- Is that all?

- Okay, 2 pounds.

And half a pound of dried fish.

No sugar or eggs?

They both go to the hospital,

you know that.

What do you say?

I tell you what I say, colonel.

I'm gonna go to

Col. Smedley-Taylor...

...and I'm gonna tell him

what you've just said.

And I'm gonna show him this.

And if there's a borehole party...

...and I pray there will be,

I'm going to ask to lead it...

...and I'm personally going to shove

you down, but not too fast...

...because I want to hear you scream

for a long, long time before you die.

Oh, my God.

I figure you Australian thieves are the

only thieves who can supply in bulk.

I'll tell you what I'm prepared to offer.

You supply the cages...

...and market the produce,

we'll cut you in for 50 percent.

- Are you interested?

- Yeah, yeah, seems like a proposition.

So we got ourselves a deal, right?

Nothing like dealing with

your own kind, is there?

When are you gonna start deliveries?

I got to get my organization primed.

Let me see.

- Kurt, what do you think?

- Five weeks outside.

They should have some meat

on them in a month.

Okay? We figured hind legs only.

Ten a week.

You know, make it a real luxury trade.

I gotta mention this. I'm not too keen

on selling to any cobbers.

You know, mates.

It just don't seem right, does it?

King, you know, he's got a point there.

Yeah, that's right.

We can't sell to buddies.

Yeah, well, I figured that one too.

Gentlemen,

our policy will be brass only.

- Brass only?

- Majors and up.

Genius. I tell you, he's a genius.

I've seen It. Col. Jones,

Quartermaster Sgt. Blakeley...

...and relieved them of their duties

as of today.

And now we'll forget the matter.

I say, "we," because

you are to forget it with me.

In fact, I'll make it an order.

You're to forget it ever happened.

We can't do that, sir. We caught them

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