Kingdom of Us Page #9

---

What do I take away with me?

"Sorry."

It just says sorry.

There's blood.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

So, like, a few weeks ago,

I wrote one poem.

Can I see it?

Don't read it out loud.

And don't move your lips.

- And don't, like, look at me.

- I won't read it out or look at you.

The theme was wonder,

and I did it more on the topic

of being abandoned...

sort of the feelings that go

with being left by someone and...

the sort of wondering about

whether they feel the same way you do

and whether it's the same story

on both sides.

Everything in my life,

the one thing that I couldn't control

in regards to my emotions

was having my heart broken.

And no song, no poem, no movie

can ever describe to a person

how much it hurts.

I think it has made me understand

maybe why Mum stayed with Dad,

even when things got difficult.

'Cause I have found

that when it was getting difficult,

I still wanted to carry on.

When I really feel over it,

I'll get the answers I'm looking for.

Well, I'll either get the answers

I'm looking for,

or I won't even want answers anymore.

But I already know, either way,

it doesn't matter, does it?

As long as one of them happens,

I'll be happy.

Today, we have a family therapy team

coming over to have a meeting

or a session with all of us

to talk about...

...mostly the day that Paul died.

To try and help Pippa, really,

to come to terms with that day

and how everyone felt and how she felt

and what she remembers from it,

because she was only six.

We talk about that day a lot.

But we've never, actually,

all of us spoken, as a family.

We can fit 13 people here.

It was a group experience but it

was also a very individual experience,

and it was Pippa herself who asked for it.

Are we talking about this day

as if it happened yesterday?

I think that year is such a blank

because Paul was...

- It was a very strange year.

- I left preschool that year.

- Did you?

- It's funny...

- That was real.

- Forgot about that until just now!

I don't ever go inside.

We didn't imagine that happening.

That did happen.

I remember Mum saying,

"You know Dad's been ill."

And then you were like, "I'm so sorry."

And you started crying.

I just was sad.

Waking up the next day

thinking it was a dream.

I don't remember hitting

Mum's car. Was I hitting Mum's car?

Going back to school and...

people were pretending

to slit their wrists 'cause they knew.

It was in the paper.

I felt like I had to cry

'cause you kept passing me tissues.

I wasn't really crying.

I was pretending to cry

because I wanted to be involved.

We all have things in that day

that, you know, if, if, if...

But it's what did happen

that we should try and focus on

because the ifs will just mess you up.

As long as we stand together,

we're okay.

It's so useful

because we've never done this.

We've never heard

everyone's individual story

and I think it's really good.

Pipsy? Hello!

- Hi!

- Is it gonna make her upset?

No, this will make her happy,

'cause she thought

she had a bad relationship with Dad,

but we're showing her

all the bits that are good.

She's so cute.

I tell you what,

I just want her to be her natural self.

How are you doing now, Pippa?

Do you know what? I think

every time you've asked me that question,

I've always said, "Pretty sh*t."

But this one, I think, like...

I'm actually okay.

And I feel as though...

I'm on the right track

for, like, the first time in my life.

I've been in hospital almost six months.

I'm doing better,

but I'm not getting discharged

anytime soon.

I don't know.

It is so hard to acknowledge

that something's wrong.

Because you can't admit it to yourself.

You're like, "No, I'm fine."

I don't think that you'll ever know

what you need.

I think that's a decision you need

someone else to make for you.

You know,

people die from not accepting help.

You know,

and we've all experienced that firsthand.

Oh, my God.

With death,

it's difficult because...

I could live my life being angry

at my dad and never forgive him.

But all that means is that I'm just

gonna be an angry person all the time.

Whereas I want to feel happiness

and freedom and peace and love.

- Am I gonna die up here?

- Yeah, the thing is cursed.

I dare you to jump. Jump!

I'm still just as wimpy as I used to be.

- Nothing has changed.

- Nothing's changed, Pip!

You can do it, girls!

Come on, Mirie!

That's it! Don't give up!

I think we're very lucky

to have had the life we've had.

Being able to play in the land,

and having so many siblings, and just...

There's a lot of happy memories,

and I think that's a sign

of a very lucky upbringing.

Bad things happen, but...

holding on to the happy memories, but...

letting the bad ones

help you move forward.

And helping you to learn for

different situations that happen in life.

Ooh, ooh

Remember when

We'd dance around

And we would fall to the ground

Ooh, ooh

Remember when

Today will be a memory

The same way we're remembering

And I will see

And I will see the seasons

Come and go...

I'm about to break the fourth wall.

The way the time unfolds...

Pippa, do you wanna

break the fourth wall with me?

It's not for everyone.

And I will fly, and I will fly away

I'll fly away to paradise

The way the time unfolds

Watch my wings grow

Times are hard, but spirits high

A love that's strong

Unbreakable bonds

We've grown together in different ways

We think of you and how you'd say

Today will be a memory

The same way we're remembering

And I will see

And I will see the seasons come and go

They come and go

The way the time unfolds

Watch my wings grow

And I will fly

And I will fly away

I'll fly away to paradise

The way the time unfolds

Watch my wings grow

The way the time unfolds

Watch my wings grow

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes