Kingpin

All set, Charlie.

Hey, Pa!

Whoa.

You got time for a game before supper?

Go get your ball.

I'll meet you out back.

Okay, Roy. Come on.

I want to see some smoke on this one.

- Whoa! Okay!

- Yeah!

Son, you put that in a bottle,

you got something sweeter than Yoo-Hoo.

Beauty!

You got a great gift, son.

It's as if angels

came down from heaven...

and put a blessing

on your three bowling digits.

You can apply everything

that I've taught you about bowling...

to your daily life...

and if you do that,

you're gonna be decent...

you're gonna be moral...

you're gonna be a good man.

All set, guys.

Can you believe this?

Me on a professional bowling tour?

It's your calling, son.

One day, when people say the name

"Munson," they're gonna think "winner."

Just like DiMaggio is to baseball...

or "Unitas" is to football.

That's what "Munson" will be to bowling.

- That's right.

- Yeah, Roy.

I hope so, Dad.

I want to make you proud.

Maybe you can get

this old piece of crap working...

of if you get in a pinch, maybe

you'll get a couple of bucks for it.

Thanks, Dad.

- You go get 'em, son.

- I will.

It all comes down to this roll.

Roy Munson, a man-child...

with a dream to topple

bowling giant Ernie McCracken.

If he strikes...

he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters champion.

He's got one foot in the frying pan

and one in the pressure cooker.

Believe me, as a bowler,

I know that right about now...

your bladder feels like

an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag...

and your butt is kind of like

an about-to-explode bratwurst.

Do you mind?

I wasn't talking when you were bowling.

Was I talking out loud?

Was I?

Sorry.

Good luck.

Big problem, my friend.

Engine blown.

Someone put sugar in your tank.

- Sugar? That's impossible.

- Here! Sugar!

Maybe the bad kids around here.

How much is it gonna cost to fix?

$2,000.

$2,000! That's gonna wipe me out!

I'm sorry. Did I wake you, Fatima?

Ethyl supreme. Top it off.

Right away.

Watch the door. Hey, pinhead,

juice the tires for me, will you? Today?

Oh, Roy!

I didn't expect to see you so soon.

Hi, Mr. McCracken.

Hey, call me "Ernie" or "Big Ern."

Young bowler like yourself...

the tour can be very difficult,

very expensive.

Tanqueray and Tab.

Keep 'em coming, sweets. I got

a long drive. Do me a favor, will you?

Would you mind washing off that perfume

before you come back to our table?

Little bad luck,

like you had here today...

all your dreams can go up in smoke.

That's why even we veteran bowlers

work our way, tournament to tournament.

We need the supplemental income.

- Supplemental income?

- Supplemental.

It means "extra."

- You interested?

- Interested?

Would you be interested

in some extra income?

Extra income?

Want to make more money?

Why don't you go eat that outside

and then come on back in?

Not you.

Do people actually bowl here?

They live here. They die here.

They get their mail here.

I don't know about this.

Something doesn't seem right.

It takes guts to say no, kid.

You got a lot of courage. I don't think

I could call my mommy and daddy...

and tell them I didn't have

what it takes to make it on the tour.

All right, let's get going.

Better call them

before they go to sleep. Hurry up.

- All right.

- Nice flip-flop. Way to go.

Two more for my young friend here.

- I got it in the nose.

- Here. Take it out of that.

Say, buddy, you gonna buy the beers

or the whole place?

This is just my bonus.

I had a good month.

"A good month."

This punk shattered

my monthly record.

I had the entire company record

21 times.

He shattered it.

Look at this bonus.

What do you sell?

Dictionaries.

Yeah. Door to door.

What do you say we play

a couple of games?

- Maybe 20 bucks a game?

- No!

- You're not gonna bowl drunk again.

- I insist.

What do you want to risk?

You have everything going for you.

You're on a gravy train

with biscuit wheels.

You've just shattered my record.

What do you want to lose it for?

This is a Gran Torino looking at you.

Don't do it. Let's just have

six, seven drinks and go.

Hey, buddy boy...

you looking for

a little friendly action?

I just might know somebody

to accommodate you.

Speak of the devil, and he appears.

I'm gonna play the jukebox.

Yes!

- All right!

- God!

He was robbed.

- Game, set, match, fellows.

- Yeah.

I believe you owe us another $100.

We're not getting much mercy

here tonight.

You guys have to forgive me.

You see, bowling for money...

that's my only vice.

- Here's your drink.

- Thanks, sugar.

Okay, two vices.

That's still very good.

All right, let's go.

Thank you for the education, gentlemen.

We've just received a PhD in stupidity.

Doctor, shall we?

Give us a chance to win our money back.

Are you crazy? Padre, how much

are you into us for already?

$350.

That's a landau roof and power steering

down the drain.

Could be in your pocket right now.

Let's go.

Double or nothing

I can pick up that spare.

- I think I can do it.

- That's the 6-7-10.

You'll pick up that spare the same day

my hair starts falling out.

- Let's get out of here.

- I can do this.

For $700? No way.

No, not for $700.

What have you got here?

For $1,500. Guys?

You want some of the action?

Come on, you chickenshits.

I'm good for the money. Put up my share.

Now, Mr. Big Shot, Mr. " I wear my pants

high and pick up every spare...

drunk or sober."

- Come on, guys.

- We'll take that bet.

Fine, my so-called friend.

Take your silly little ball...

and make your silly little spare...

or miss it!

Come on, boy. Bowl!

The name's not "boy."

It's Roy.

Roy Munson.

How'd he do that?

What did I tell you?

This feels weird.

Are you sure this is legal?

I don't know.

It's fun though, isn't it?

What's the sugar for, Mr. McCracken?

Didn't I tell you to call me "Ernie"

or "Big Ern"?

It's for my morning coffee.

Get out of the car, wise guy!

- What do we do?

- Sometimes a bowler...

just has to face the music.

- Come on.

- There you are. Let's go.

And that bowler is you.

- You're in deep sh*t, kid.

- I don't know what I'm doing here.

Let me see that hand.

I thought I recognized...

that name.

Father, please do something.

I'm a priest like you're a dictionary

salesman, you piece of sh*t.

Get him inside.

- Come on.

- Don't do this.

What are you doing?

I'll pay you back, I swear to God!

Get him up there.

Do it!

Do it!

Hey, Herb. How's life?

Taking forever.

Morning, Mike.

Can you get sick drinking piss?

I think you can.

Even if it's your own?

Captain Hook!

Wait up.

I want that rent by tomorrow,

or you're out of here!

I got you down for a 50-gallon drum

of lane oil and a case of bowler's tape.

Every week, I tell you the same thing:

We don't need nothing.

What about...

a gross of fluorescent condoms for

the novelty machine in the men's room?

Those are fun even when you're alone.

- Yeah.

- You get it?

- This is the hula-hoop of the '90s.

- No!

We don't even have a novelty machine

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