Kingpin Page #2

in the men's room anymore.

And you call this a bowling alley?

You stroke a hell of a ball...

but I'll bet when you're off,

you leave a lot of buckets.

Excuse me?

Buckets. 3, 5, 6 and 9. It's from

coming in too light in the pocket...

and sending the head pin

around the 3.

You could tell all that

from seeing me throw one strike?

I didn't see it. I heard it.

Try moving a couple of boards

to the left.

Would you look at that!

Sweeter than Yoo-Hoo.

How come you know so much about bowling?

Maybe this will help explain it to you.

Oh, wow. That's really something.

What's that made out of?

14-karat gold.

Really? Looks like rubber.

No. The ring, not the hand.

Wow. State champion.

You state champion?

Was. Iowa, '79.

Name's Roy Munson.

Ishmael Boorg.

You've got as powerful a stroke

as I've ever seen.

You could lose a little

off the backswing, but you're not bad.

- What's your average?

- I don't know. 265, 270.

I've got to go.

- Bye.

- Whoa! Hey, easy does it.

What's your hurry?

We're just getting acquainted.

You're wasting your time.

He's from way out in Brimfield.

- So?

- Brimfield's an Amish community.

- He's Amish?

- No fooling you.

Wait up. I want to talk to you.

About what?

You got something special.

With your talent and my knowledge,

you could be a champion.

I mean that, and I know talent

because I manage bowlers.

Bowling manager?

Why would a bowler need a manager?

Don't you need a coach...

a friend, a brother?

Someone who will stick by your side

through thick and thin?

Someone who will be a loyal friend

and never, ever...

ever turn on you...

no matter what?

I'm sorry, sir,

but I'm not interested.

I hope you rot in hell, you loser!

You suck!

You don't deserve a car!

Where's the milk for the coffee?

We're all out.

Well, what do you call that

in the cooler?

Well, if you want to buy some,

help yourself.

but the freebies are all out.

Buy some? What, I gotta pay for mustard

if I get a hotdog?

If the freebies are out, yeah.

Can you break a 20?

Oh, and give me a box of Marlboros.

Do I gotta pay for matches?

Five, ten, here's twenty.

If you ever need to just talk,

call me.

Hey, whoa.

Let me help you here.

- Come on up.

- Thanks.

- Absolutely precious.

- Yeah.

That will come out.

Treasure these special times.

Look at you. Coochie, coochie.

Did you burn your little fingers?

- Adorable.

- Thanks.

Charge me for milk, will ya?

Ya lowlife.

- Give me the pocketbook, lady.

- No!

- Give me it!

- Okay.

Give it back.

What are you, sissy? You need a purse?

I'll slice your throat!

You burned me, you bastard!

Go ahead, you chickenshit!

Run home to Mommy!

P*ssy.

Here you go. You okay?

I'm fine.

That was a brave thing you did.

You are a hero.

A genuine hero.

I'm no hero.

I don't even know what happened.

Nine out of ten times, I'd be running

the other direction.

Oh, you know, about the rent...

Don't you worry about that.

You pay me the money whenever you get it

because I know you are good for it.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome. You... thank you.

What 50? We said 25.

I deserve a little extra after getting

third-degree burns on my pupils.

I didn't know you were going to use

a knife. I'm just buying some time.

- I don't want to give her a coronary.

- I had to make it look real.

Besides, that coffee wasn't even hot.

Now that's hot.

Where's your newspaper?

I got to take a dump.

- I don't have the paper.

- I need something to read.

Here. Use this shampoo.

"New and improved." I read this already.

You got any of that new Mentadent?

I know how you like to drink,

so I brought you some...

Why, you no-good son of a b*tch!

You crazy bastard!

How the hell did you get in here?

Get out!

That will be 100 now, you prick!

And don't come back!

- Munson!

- Some people never learn.

You are history.

I am calling the cops!

Wait. Whoa. Hey, calm down.

You have every right to be angry, okay?

Just take a deep breath.

There must be some way

I can work this off... make it up to you.

Well.

Oh, stop it.

It wasn't that bad.

Oh, my little Roy toy.

What is it about good sex

that makes me have to crap?

Guess it's all that pumpin'.

Pump and dump.

You really jarred

something loose, tiger.

Oh, boy.

Got two bits of advice for you.

Number one:
Forget about this bowling

business and get yourself a real job.

Number two:
You still owe me

another month's rent.

So if I were you, I would start doing

some tongue exercises before Friday.

Oh, top of the morning to you.

I'm Hezakiah Munson.

I'm passing through

on my way to Ohio.

Any shingling or butter churning

need doing?

Lucas. You know better than that.

We're waiting on your brother...

to come in from the fields.

How many children do you have,

Brother Hezakiah?

None that I know of.

What I mean to say is I was...

We... I'm unable to have children.

Nasty cheese-grating accident

as a young man.

Why are you late this time, Ishmael?

Sorry, Pa.

I was out in the cornfield...

and the stalks were broken...

and I thought I could fix them.

Hi, Grandma.

Please meet our friend...

from Ohio, Brother Hezakiah.

Hello, Ishmael.

Why did you come here?

We didn't get a chance

to finish talking.

You're only going

to make trouble for me.

Have a seat.

Look. My grandfather took me bowling

when I was a kid.

It was our secret.

If anyone here found out

that I went to that bowling alley...

I don't know what would happen.

There's a tournament

in Reno, Nevada, in a few weeks.

The best bowlers in the country

are going to be there.

With my help, I think you can beat them.

You hear me?

The first prize is $1 million.

We split everything

right down the middle.

No, sir. I think it's best

that you go.

By tomorrow, they'll find out

that you're a fraud.

We Amish demand more of ourselves.

You people work 8-hour days.

We work 12.

We do whatever you people do

plus a half. That's how we survive.

Believe me, keeping up

is not going to be a problem.

Pa! His bed's made, but he

isn't in there. He must have left.

Guess Brother Hezakiah was afraid

of getting his fingers dirty.

Morning! I hope you don't mind.

I got up a little early...

so I took the liberty

of milking your cow.

It took a little while to get her

warmed up. She sure is a stubborn one.

We don't have a cow.

We have a bull.

I'll brush my teeth.

Take Lucas down with the other children.

Keep an eye on them for us, please.

Brother Hezekiah, come with us.

The children?

I wanted to help with the barn.

You can help after lunch.

Go ahead.

Grab your tools. Follow me.

I don't know how a barn-raising

is done in Ohio...

but here in Pennsylvania,

no one runs for the dinner bell...

in the middle of lifting

a 2,000-pound wall!

Okay. All right. I mean...

Brother Thomas, you know what it says

in the Bible about not forgiving people.

Why don't you tell us all what it says?

Well, it's against it.

Thomas can raise a barn...

but can he pick up a 7-10 split?

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