Kingpin Page #3

God blessed my brother

to be a good carpenter.

It's okay.

He blessed you, too,

and I'll give you a clue what it is.

It's round and has three holes,

and you stick your fingers into it.

You leave Rebecca out of this!

I'm talking about bowling...

your future.

Just drop it. Right now,

the only future I have...

is reshoeing Buttercup.

Holy cow!

Yeah, this is Buttercup, the biggest,

strongest horse in the county.

I'd like a word with you.

Okay, Pa.

Take the horse's shoes off.

Ishmael will be right back.

Don't be angry with your brother.

He's been under a lot of pressure

dealing with those bankers.

Is everything okay?

No, son.

The community's in trouble. They're

threatening to foreclose on the land.

Is there anything I can do?

Not unless you can figure out a way to

come up with a half a million dollars.

There's a storm on the horizon.

I guess the angels are bowling.

Maybe they'll bring us a messenger.

Took some doing,

but I finally got them off.

Where do you keep the new shoes?

What, I got a boog hanging?

Tell my parents that God spoke to me

to go on a mission with Brother Munson.

If the good Lord sees fit...

I'll be back

with enough money to save the land.

Promise me that you'll be careful

when you're out among the English.

Do not allow yourself to be corrupted.

Don't worry, Miss Rebecca.

Your goodness gives me strength.

Nothing can make me stray.

Buckle up, my friend. You're

about to embark on a great adventure.

- Smoke?

- No.

No, thanks.

You really should try to quit.

They say it's bad for your heart,

your lungs.

- Quickens the aging process.

- Is that right?

Who's done more research

on the subject...

than the good people

at the American tobacco industry?

They say it's harmless. Why would they

lie? If you're dead, you can't smoke.

You get warmed up.

I'll grab us a cup of coffee.

I don't drink coffee.

- Why not?

- It's a stimulant.

What do you think cigarettes are?

They are?

Make it extra-large,

two sugars, lots of cream.

Lots of cream.

You all right?

Ish, what happened in there?

I don't know.

I thought I played pretty good.

He's just a little better than me,

that's all.

Pretty good? 186.

You lost to a club player!

That's not supposed to happen!

You're carrying a 270 average!

What do you expect?

I mean, you guys with your 10 frames.

What do you mean, "10 frames"?

My grandpa always taught me

to bowl 15 frames.

Like I told you, we Amish do everything

half again as hard as you do.

Ten frames? That's for Quakers.

- I ain't going home.

- Look.

You wouldn't stand a chance

against those guys.

You said I was the best prospect

you'd ever seen.

You said you could make me a champion.

I've been liquored up for 17 years.

My judgment's not what it once was.

Pull the car over.

I want to get out of here.

- I'll drive you home.

- I don't want to go home!

I want to go to Reno!

Now pull the car over.

Let me out of here.

This is silly.

You've only been gone a couple of days.

They'll forgive you.

Yeah, you're right.

They'll probably forgive me.

They expect me to come home with my tail

between my legs, but I won't do it.

I'd sooner get Munsoned

out here in the middle of nowhere...

than lose face in front of my friends.

What did you say?

I don't want to lose face...

No, before that.

I said I'd sooner get Munsoned

out here...

in the middle of nowhere.

"Munsoned"?

What the hell is that?

You know. Munsoned.

To be up a creek without a paddle.

To have the world in the palm

of your hand and then blow it.

It's a figure of speech.

Congratulations, my friend.

You passed the test.

A true champion doesn't quit,

and neither did you.

You were testing me?

A little Roy 101.

You were just testing me.

Oh, Mr. Munson. Whoa!

Hop in.

I got to watch you.

So I did good, huh?

You did great,

but school's just beginning.

A bowler's two worst enemies

are his eyes and his ears.

You shut these, you close those

and you just feel it.

Coach, listen to this.

"English bulldog, one testicle.

$500."

For that kind of money,

you'd think you'd get two testicles.

- Don't you think?

- How the hell should I know?

I'm tired of all your questions.

I'm not here to teach you everything

about everything in the world.

I'm here to teach you about bowling,

and that's it.

Okay. Keep your shirt on.

I can figure some things out

for myself.

Wait a minute. I'm going to bet?

If we're going to make enough dough

to get to Reno, we're going to bet.

You can't have it both ways.

If you want to earn half a million

dollars and save your town...

you'll have to bend the rules

a little.

No way.

There's no way I can bet.

It's against my religion.

I was raised to not be a gambler.

- There's no way I'm going to bet.

- Hey, hey, Ish.

- No! No way!

- Hey!

Listen, you stupid banana head.

You don't have to bet. I'll bet for you.

Oh, that's cool.

What's the worst that could happen?

So, you two are dictionary salesmen.

You would be punctilious

in assuming that.

Your buddy tells me you're the best

salesman in the whole company.

You must be a smooth talker.

Yep.

You don't have to read them

to sell them, you know.

So, Steve, what do you say

we bowl a couple of games?

Steve?

Yo, Steve-arino.

Oh, right.

Okay, you want to bowl

for some big money, hey?

But I'll lose my entire bonus check

because I'm so bombed.

You get that way from ginger ale?

No, he was sniffing glue

in the parking lot.

I haven't heard this one

in a while.

How does the rest of this hustle work?

- Nice going, De Niro.

- It's "Steve."

You want to blow the whole thing?

If you guys want a straight-up money

game, go to this address tonight.

At midnight.

And bring some money.

Wow! Look at that!

Are you all right, sir?

I'm fine.

Just make sure you win.

We can't lose. It's the centurion's

faith that wins him divine favor.

Gotcha! Okay, park the shitbox

and come with me.

Come on.

He seems like a real cutup, huh?

You know, Stanley...

I don't necessarily feel

like we need to play for money.

- Why don't we just play for fun?

- Cut the bullshit.

I know you're a hustler.

Can your kid play or not?

He can play.

Fine. Then it's $1,000 a game.

Claudia, why don't you show us the way

to the bowling alley?

Isn't she the most incredible woman

you've ever seen?

She's hot.

And those babies are real.

Twice.

What's so funny?

I didn't want to be the one to tell him,

but with those narrow hips...

that girl couldn't have

more than 6 or 7 children.

An open frame in the 10th.

I was robbed, goddamn it!

He's got a 228.

You need three strikes.

Okay? Stay focused.

Snap it. Pull that string.

All right.

Now it's getting interesting, huh?

Bottom of the ninth,

two-minute warning, last frame?

There's no question farmer boy's a fine

bowler, but competing under pressure?

One more.

Boy, it's hot in here.

I need something to cool down.

I'm sorry. Where are my manners?

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