Kingpin Page #4

Synopsis: Roy Munson was raised to be the best bowler in the world (trained early on by his father). But a fellow bowler, Ernie McCracken and a misunderstanding with some rough punks, leaves poor Roy with the loss of his bowling hand! Not to let this get him down, he gets a prosthetic hand and becomes a travelling sales man. But it's really all down hill for him from that night on until ... One day he meets Ishmael who is Amish and sneaks away from the farm to bowl (his fellow Amish would disown him if they knew)! Roy convinces Ishmael to let him be his trainer and he'll make him the best bowler the world has ever seen. Reluctantly Ishmael agrees to go on the road and shortly afterwards actually finds that life outside the farm is quite fun. Soon their paths cross that of Ernie McCracken who is still a top ranking bowler. While Roy's career and life have landed in the toilet bowl, Ernie is still drawing huge crowds and all the babes! They both square off for the ultimate bowling championship ...
Genre: Comedy, Sport
Production: MGM Home Entertainment
 
IMDB:
6.9
Metacritic:
43
Rotten Tomatoes:
50%
PG-13
Year:
1996
113 min
2,035 Views


Does anyone else want one?

Yeah, I'll take a couple of jugs...

mugs.

Bottle. One bottle.

Don't trouble yourself, ma'am.

I'll get that.

What kind do you want?

Whatever.

Here you go, sir.

- Come on, buddy. Bowl.

- Yeah. I'm kind of nippy.

Yes!

What can I say? Good game.

My hat's off to you.

The great Stanley got beaten

by the farm boy on his own track.

Could I have a word with you

in the other room, dear?

Don't you ever pull that sh*t with me.

What's wrong with you?

Anyway, I owe you guys

a little bit of money.

Let's play another game.

Oh, no, not tonight.

We got a lot of stuff to do tomorrow...

and it's a school night.

- What the hell is that?

- What?

This. $100 bill

wrapped in Monopoly money?

You look like you want to hit me.

We don't raise our hands in anger

against others.

Well, we do!

Unbelievable!

You disgrace my home...

dishonor the game by betting

with money you don't even have?

You piece of garbage!

I want you to take them out back...

and make his left hand

look just like his right hand!

- Oh, Mr. Munson!

- What the hell? Get them!

- I got them!

- Get the lights!

- I got the punk.

- Where's the door?

You bald bastard,

I'll gouge your eyes out, you son of a...

Ah, sh*t!

- Give me the keys.

- Why?

Hey, nobody drives my car.

- Come on.

- Wait!

Ah, sh*t! Look at this.

Slow down.

You're going to get us all killed.

Sh*t!

I don't know why I did this.

I don't know where I'm going...

or what I'll do when I get there.

Why couldn't this have worked out?

He hit me, the bastard,

and hitting, I don't take!

Look, just calm down, all right?

Take it easy. Calm.

Like the kid back there. Look how...

Pull it over.

Ishmael always was a strange boy...

but he means well

and we love him.

- Please bring him back home.

- I will, Father.

I promise you

I will not return without him.

I walked past the mall

Just like I say

And I felt this hurt

that would not go home

I can't expect you all

to see this my way

But you might not remember

The trees that I'd known

And I want them to bring back

My old corner store

Damn this hand!

Where do you get something like that?

Prosthetics-R-Us, aisle six.

Right next to the glass eyeballs.

Must be tough

when you're spanking your monkey.

You have a monkey?

Hey, handsome. How about a dance?

Yeah, well, thank you, young lovely...

but I'm a little worn out.

I wasn't asking you.

She said "hand-some,"

not "hand-less."

- So how about it?

- I don't know how to dance.

Well, it's about time you learned.

Well, when there's things to do

And not because you gotta

When you run for love

Not because you oughta

Listen.

We appreciate your help with

your boyfriend and everything, but...

You look.

I did it for the kid.

Cheap hustler like you, I don't care

if they put a bullet in your head.

Oh, you care about the kid, huh?

I got a news flash for you,

Mother Teresa.

Just because you spend most of your time

in a missionary position...

doesn't make you a missionary.

This will work out fine.

What?

It's better that we don't like each

other, since we'll be business partners.

Checks and balances.

- Business partners?

- Yeah.

That's precious.

I saw your phony roll.

You don't have enough money

to get to Reno.

Why don't you just...

eat your chili fries,

drink your shake...

and go blow lunch or whatever you do

to keep your ass in business.

Look, Mr. Munster.

You're not exactly the smartest guy

I ever ran across.

Yeah? And who are you?

Alfred Einstein?

So this is rock and roll.

- I like it.

- Oh, God.

- It's my boyfriend, Skidmark.

- I'd like to meet him.

I don't think you do.

Your act is about as fresh

as a Foghat concert.

It really bites.

I know a little about this racket.

I learned it the hard way.

Yeah, well, I've got stake money...

500 bucks.

I'll tell you something else.

Ishmael likes me.

I promise you, you're not his type.

Oh, I'm his type.

I'm every guy's type.

You trying to pick up my woman?

You crazy or something?

Come here!

She was just teaching me to dance.

I didn't know how to dance.

You want to dance?

You saying you want me to dance?

No, not if you don't want to.

You're trying to move in on my squirrel.

I ought to stoot-slap your ass

right now.

We're going to drill you

another a**hole!

You want to kiss somebody, Goldilocks?

Kiss these!

Take that, you freaky piece of sh*t.

You don't mow another guy's lawn!

All right!

That was really heroic.

I did Ish a favor.

If I hadn't knocked him out,

those animals would've torn him apart.

- That's the thanks I get?

- You didn't have to have beers with 'em.

I didn't want them to think

that we were in cahoots.

You cleared that up

when you rubbed Tabasco in his eyes.

Could you move that seat up

so I can stretch my feet out?

Thanks.

Here. I had them wrap up your food...

'cause this is probably

your last meal...

seeing as you don't have

anymore money.

You're the greatest.

I just had a thought.

Seeing as how Claudia

has been so kind...

to us, I thought maybe...

she could join us

till she gets back on her feet.

If I could see you, I'd kiss you.

Isn't he the best?

You're the best, Mr. Munson.

Whatcha doin'?

Flossin'.

Where'd I get Munson from?

The name's Munson. What I'm doing

is flossing. This is called floss.

It cleans your teeth. You should try it.

You'll be amazed what you find.

I don't know much about life

outside of Brimfield.

I was never in a car before.

I never stayed

in a fancy hotel before...

never saw a man pick his nose

with a hook before.

When I stop and think about it all...

it can get pretty scary.

- It's an emergency. We got to leave.

- But what are we...

- No if, ands or buts. Get moving.

- I'll go get Miss Claudia.

No. Don't get Claudia.

I'll explain it all later.

- Just be quiet.

- Okay.

I think I tore my sack.

Are you okay?

What did I just say?

- "I think I tore my sack"?

- No. "Be quiet!"

The army evacuated everybody.

Yeah. A big military train derailed...

and this whole area is in danger of

being contaminated by a huge cloud of...

- Sh*t.

- A huge cloud of sh*t?

Wow.

I think I smell it!

Come on. Let's go.

Could we go have a little chat?

- Surely.

- Great.

Hey, everybody, there's

a sh*t cloud coming! Run for your lives!

A $60-a-night motel room,

and you're sleeping in the car?

- That makes sense.

- Don't I feel like a fool?

I know what you're thinking.

Let me explain.

Mommy!

You must have a really wide foot.

You got both of them.

I can't believe you were going

to ditch out and go to Reno without me!

I thought we were partners.

Spare me the indignant routine,

all right?

You've been rubbing your tits

in that kid's face since we met...

so you could steal him.

- What?

- Don't give me that "What?" crap.

Half the dresses you got,

you need two hairdos to wear. Admit it!

You been planning on taking him from me

and leaving me. I just beat you to it.

How dare you accuse me of anything!

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Barry Fanaro

Barry Fanaro is an American screenwriter of television and feature films. He has taught screenwriting seminars at USC, UCSB, AFI and Mercer University. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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