Kinsey Page #6

Prok got worried

when he couldn't reach you.

Said he had to take histories

later this evening...

so he'd like an early dinner.

- Hmph.

- Preferably 5:
00.

Hardly gives me time to boil an egg.

- Can I help?

- No. I'll manage.

I just... I'm sorry

he made you play messenger.

No. I volunteered.

Mmm.

Hear that?

- What?

- The sound of an empty nest.

Must be a big adjustment.

Have you heard from Bruce yet?

No. He's loving college.

Maybe it's just

being away from here.

- Oh.

- Would you like a piece of pie?

- Rhubarb?

- Have a seat.

You know, Clyde,

I didn't like you very much at first.

I don't blame you.

- Most women would have had me murdered.

- Oh, I considered it.

I hate to think of myself

as conventional.

But if this had to happen...

I'm glad it was you.

And I... have to admit

there have been some benefits.

It certainly sparked things up sexually.

I suppose we'd both grown bored

without even realizing it.

I think you've handled it

remarkably well.

I learned something a long time ago.

Once Prok has his mind set,

it's no use trying to stop him.

Yes.

He is...

relentless.

Clyde?

You know, this thing

between Prok and me...

it was fine for a while, but...

I guess I just really miss

sleeping with women.

That's perfectly understandable.

It's clear from your history, you have

a greater sexual interest in women than men.

Good.

Then you won't mind

if I ask Mac to have sex with me?

I mean, only if it appeals to you,

of course.

- Would it be separately or together?

- Oh, definitely just you and I.

Oh, I think I might like that.

What do you think, Prok?

Mac. The Rockefeller Foundation

is coming today.

You-You know,

I enjoy this... tremendously.

We still have to catalog

those prints, Martin.

- Please.

- Coming, Prok.

- Please.

- Coming, Prok.

- It's just... It's a very full day.

- Mm-hmm.

Coming!

One key to understanding

a foreign culture is its pornography.

Every culture produces

its own peculiar sexual imagery...

as distinct as its cuisine.

As you can see, Brazil's imagery

tends towards zoophilia...

while Italy favors nuns and priests.

In England, one often sees depictions

of the stern headmistress...

wankers and spankers.

While in the Far East,

it's soft "flage"and light bondage.

You've amassed

an impressive collection.

Thank you. Only what I've been able

to afford from my own savings.

But if the Rockefeller Foundation

agrees to our grant...

some of that money will help us

build a worid-class library.

Um, Herman? That's 200 years old.

- Oh.

- Have you any idea when you might decide?

Prok, please, Dr. Gregg just got here.

Sometimes I'm amazed anything has survived.

The Library of Congress has a policy...

of destroying whatever

it considers too erotic.

The loss to science has been, uh, incalculable.

There's plenty of time to take

your sex histories before dinner.

Who'd like to go first?

I...

I- I... I don't, uh...

Early in my bug-hunting days,

someone asked me what I was looking for.

I said I wouldn't know

until I saw it statistically.

A scientist can only generalize

with reliable certainty...

if he has enough

statistical information.

Is this your first time

in Bloomington, Dr. Gregg?

Yes. It's lovely.

Hillier than I expected.

That's why I've broken

the American population down...

into 200 major social subgroups.

We'll get anywhere from 400

to a thousand histories from each group...

for a total of 100,000,

give or take a few.

It could take 20 years, but, at the end,

we'll finally be able to answer...

most of the basic questions

about human sexuality.

Herman, is the pot roast dry?

No. It's delicious.

The first publication

will be a male volume...

followed a year later

by the female study...

then another nine books dealing

with sex offenders, homosexuality...

pregnancy and abortion and art...

studied from a sexual standpoint,

of course.

With the children gone,

I don't get to cook big meals anymore.

Mac. Let's get to the point.

This project is one of

the greatest ever undertaken...

in connection

with the human animal.

But without support from the Rockefeller

Foundation, it will never get off the ground.

There are those who argue that...

sex is largely a matter of feelings

and psychological attitudes...

things beyond your training

as a zoologist.

That's like saying a biochemist can't

analyze cooking because he's not a chef.

- It's inane.

- Prok, come on.

That is, it's really a very stupid way

of looking at things.

One of the aims of science

is to simplify.

The only way to study sex

with any scientific accuracy...

is to strip away everything

but its physiological functions.

And this team you're proposing?

I'll need two pair of hands at least...

both with advanced degrees in science.

And Clyde Martin, of course.

Since you're working

in such a delicate area...

they need to be as clean

as Fuller Brush men.

Um...

Door-to-door salesmen, Prok.

I think what Dr. Gregg is saying

is that anyone involved in the project...

needs to have motives that are entirely pure

and scientific and above reproach morally.

- I couldn't agree more.

- Ah.

- Now, there's one more thing.

- Mm-hmm?

I hope you're not planning to dwell

on sexual oddities and perversions.

Science is always interested

in the rare.

Yes, but it's advisable

to stick to what's normal.

You don't want to shake people up.

Of course not.

I'm just a taxonomist... a measurer.

I'm happy to leave

the social policies to others.

Ah. Ah.

Well, that all sounds good.

Very good.

So, if you're ready...

I'd like to begin with

a few background questions.

No. All wrong. Start by putting

the subject at ease.

No. All wrong. Start by putting

the subject at ease.

- Would you care for a drink, Mac?

- Why, a glass of water would be very nice.

Do anything fun this weekend?

My daughters were in town,

so I never stopped.

We had a marvelous meal

Saturday night.

- Really? What did you cook?

- I started with a little...

See how much more relaxed

she's become?

If you ease in

with innocuous questions...

people forget

they're giving sex histories.

How did you first

find out about masturbation?

I invented it, son.

Sometimes I tie a rope

around my balls when I jerk off.

- And what other masochistic acts do you enjoy?

- Does that mean "queer"?

How often do you have intercourse?

- Two or three times.

- A month?

- No, a day.

- Mmm.

How often do you reach orgasm?

- Once.

- A day?

No. Only once.

About 20 years ago.

I was sitting on a piano stool

listening to music.

Mm. Oh, that's good.

How old were you when you first engaged

in sexual activity with a partner?

- Fourteen.

- How?

With horse.

How often were you having intercourse

with animals at age 14?

Is true. I f***ed a pony.

You are genius.

How did you know?

You just said

you had sex with a horse.

No. Whores.

Not horse. Whores.

Do you find my answers typical?

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