Kinsey Page #7

- Am I normal?

- Am I normal?

Am I normal?

Yes. I found a book

in the dining room buffet...

under all the tablecloths,

and I used to put it under my shirt...

and go into the bathroom

and sit and read it.

But I was very frightened.

- She told her mother

that she didn't like it.

- How will I get it back?

Or maybe it was just

her mother who didn't like it.

Before you know it,

the police bangin' on the front door.

Hell, I didn't even know it was illegal.

- Now I'm in here for five years.

- One of them old gals

caught me out in the field.

I guess I was about nine, 10.

And she say she was gonna

show me a new game called "puddin'."

And, well, I guess I kinda liked it.

Horses in the stable, and by watching them...

The father said, "I put my roll of bills

in your mother's pocketbook...

- and I got you for change."

- But it felt good.

- I saw myself as nasty and terrible...

- I believe in God...

I went to my mother...

"Mama, is this true?

Do men put their thing in women?"

I only did it that one time.

If you weren't a virgin, you were

a fallen woman. Nobody would want you.

Tested us for, uh,

masculine and feminine traits.

- They were both naked.

- It was part of me.

You may kiss the bride.

Did you hear Professor Kinsey

found a place for us to live?

Oh, let me guess.

It's just a few blocks from here.

- How did you know?

- He likes to keep the troops in one place.

At least you passed the test.

- What do you mean?

- Well, he took your sex history, didn't he?

Mm-hmm.

Well, he wouldn't have let Clyde

marry you unless you fit in.

Uh, didn't Clyde mention

the calendars?

Prok likes for us to keep a record

of our sexual activity.

- Tell them about that dream

you had the other night.

- Mmm!

I was in the middle of

the most intense erotic encounter...

- He wouldn't say who with.

- When all of a sudden the doors flew open...

and there was Prok standing there

with that stern look of his.

"Gebhard, hurry up! You're wasting countless

thousands of hours of project time."

Well, needless to say,

the mood was broken.

So he woke up, and I had to take over.

It was the quickest orgasm he ever had.

We're trying to get pregnant again...

so, uh, there was no raincoat

to dull the sensation.

Oh.

Do the Kinseys know

that you talk like this?

Uh...

- Could I get a picture?

- Um...

why don't you call me when you

get back from the honeymoon?

We'll have a nice long lunch.

- Look at the birdie.

- Oh.

No, I've got the report.

Thank you.

Uh, often among boys

who live in cities and towns, comma...

Less often among farm boys, period.

Perhaps you wanna say

"boys from small towns"...

- instead of"farm boys."

- Say-Say farm boys. Farm boys.

What's the difference?

He's gonna rewrite it anyway.

Henry.

Everything looks in order here.

You can have either Thanksgiving

or Christmas off.

Your choice entirely.

Do you need anything before I go?

We'll never get this book done

if people start leaving early.

I'll stay if you let me

help you with these.

You don't have the time to answer

each one personally.

If people take the trouble to write,

it's the least I can do.

Mrs. Kinsey said to remind you

to come home to eat.

And your father phoned again.

Do you want me to talk to him?

No. I'll do it.

For thine is the kingdom...

and the power

and the glory forever.

- Amen.

- Amen.

- Hello, Mildred.

- Mr. Morrissey.

Come say hello to Father.

I'm very sad for you, Alfred.

Well, it's not as though

I'll be alone.

My daughter's too fat

to get a husband.

And my son's lost his business.

He moved back home.

The only one I got rid of

is the big scientist.

Now he's working on some...

secret project.

He was always the secretive type.

Would you really like to know

what I'm working on, Father?

Oh, listen to this.

He's gonna tell me his big secret.

It's really not a secret at all.

I'm trying to find out

what people do sexually.

You heard right, Father.

It's a sex study.

Well, what do you expect me

to do, applaud?

No.

But I would like you

to contribute to the project.

Oh.

And you first moved

to Hoboken at what age?

Sixteen.

Could have done this interview

without me, Al.

I haven't told you a damn thing

you didn't already know.

Let's move on then.

- How young were you

when you first masturbated?

- What?

- Touched yourself.

- I never did that.

The male without a history

of masturbation is almost nonexistent.

Well, he exists, Al,

and you're looking at him.

This isn't gonna work.

I don't know why I bothered.

Stay where you are.

I'll try again.

How often did your masturbation

occur in adolescence?

There was a problem, a...

A ch...

"chronic condition,"

the doctors called it.

How long did this continue?

I was outfitted...

with a tight strap

that I had to wear at all times.

It... It kept me from coming

into contact with my genitals.

It was a...

a highly embarrassing remedy,

but it-it proved effective.

The condition was cured.

How old were you?

I- I was 10.

I'm so sorry, Dad.

I'm feeling a little tired now.

Sounds to me like you're

wasting your time, Al.

Nobody wants to know

about these things.

How are you?

When can we see Dr. Kinsey?

- Hey. Hey, that's him! That's Kinsey!

- There he is.!

My name is Dr. Thurman Rice...

and I'd be happy to talk to you

about Professor Kinsey's...

- Over here.!

- Repugnant book.

You are free to read and take notes...

but under no circumstances

is the manuscript to leave the room.

I won't deny the going

might get a little rough.

Dr. Kinsey's findings are surprising,

sometimes even shocking.

For example, marital sex, which is really

the only kind everyone agrees on...

is only one of nine means by which

the American male achieves orgasm.

Premarital sex, extramarital sex...

masturbation and homosexuality...

are much more prevalent than anyone

has ever imagined before.

I can assure you that Dr. Kinsey...

has done everything in his power...

to present this book tastefully.

So, I thought this

might be a good time...

to ask for a formal show of support.

Those in favor.

I just hope it's not going

to bring too much publicity.

With any luck, Mrs. Spaulding...

the general public won't even notice.

#According to the Kinsey Report #

#Every average man you know #

#Much prefers his lovey-dovey to court #

# When the temperature is low #

#But when the thermometer goes way up #

#And the weather is sizzlin'hot #

#Mr. Gob for his squab #

- That'll be "sex-fifty" please.

- #A marine for his queen #

#A G.I. For his cutie-pie is not #

# 'Cause it's too, too, too darn hot ##

In an open society...

it is done through observation.

But in a Puritan culture,

sex remains a dirty secret...

often made dreadful through

plain ignorance of what to do.

Mark my words,

as soon as the publicity dies down...

the American public will greet this book...

with the thundering silence it deserves.

What brings you to New York,

Dr. Kinsey?

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