Kiss Me Kate

Would you get the door, Paul?

- Hi, Paul.

- Mr. Cole Porter, sir.

- Thanks for coming.

- Hello, Fred.

You're right on time.

Everything's set.

Keyboard's dusted,

and the piano's tuned.

That is a matter of opinion. By the way,

what was wrong with my place?

- You want Lilli to do the part, don't you?

- Very much.

Then psychologically,

this is the proper setting.

- Here? Where you lived together?

- Oh, Lilli loved the apartment.

She'll be dying to see

if I've changed anything.

Even if she does come,

there's no guarantee she'll do the show.

Of course she'll do it. It's a good

script, a great score, fat part.

You're forgetting one thing.

Besides directing the show,

you'll also be playing opposite her.

Most actresses would

consider that an inducement.

Under the circumstances, I should think

things might be a little strained.

Because we used to be man and wife?

Oh, Cole, that's archaic.

- We're adults. We're civilized.

- Oh, forgive me!

I'd forgotten.

Just one thing. When Lilli gets here,

start with a love song: "So in Love."

- She's a pushover for a sentimental lyric.

- Okay.

That's her ring.

She always leans on the bell.

Hello, Paul. How's the bursitis?

Better, thank you, Mrs. Graham.

I mean...

Lilli Vanessi.

- Cole, how wonderful to see you again.

- Lilli, darling.

- Hello, Fred.

- Hello, Lilli.

- You look wonderful, Lilli.

- Thanks.

Peace of mind.

It does wonders for you.

- You ought to get rid of that spot.

- Never. It's a keepsake.

- You threw the inkwell, remember?

- I'm sure I had provocation.

- Well, did you like the script?

- Oh, I loved it.

- Would you care to hear the score?

- I'm dying to. That's the reason I'm here.

- The only reason.

- Well, Fred...

...this is sort of a musical version

of The Taming of the Shrew.

- Shakespeare, you know.

- Yes.

Let's see. Where should we start?

Why don't we start

with a love song?

- "So in Love"?

- Yes, it's great for Lilli.

It's a duet.

Well...

So it is.

It's beautiful, Cole.

- You sang it beautifully.

- Thank you.

But tell me something.

Do you really think

I could play the shrew?

You'd make a perfect shrew.

What I mean is, it takes an actress

of real stature, like Judy Marlow...

- Constance Collier.

- Connie Collier, Lynn Fontanne...

- Great actresses.

- The costumes are great.

For your entrance,

we've picked red velvet.

- She looks wonderful in it.

- I know...

There's another good song

in the score for Lilli. "I Hate Men."

Now, here's what we had in mind

for the wedding scene.

- Pretty, isn't it?

- It's certainly tempting.

- Then you'll do it?

- It's difficult to refuse.

I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll...

Well...

- Expecting someone?

- No.

Yes, though not just yet. I...

Another bell-leaner?

Hello. Hi, sweetie. Am I late?

- No. Early.

- Oh, that's great.

I just dashed over

between shows at the Copa.

I hope you don't mind my legs.

On the contrary.

Oh, this is Miss Lane, the young lady

I was telling you about.

- Telling me about?

- For the part?

- Part?

- Bianca.

- The younger sister.

- Younger?

- Only in the play.

- Oh, of course. Bianca.

It's a thrill meeting both of you.

I just love your songs, Mr. Porter.

And I'm just nuts

about your ex-husband.

Sweetie, we're out of ginger ale.

Anybody want a drink?

- What'll you have?

- Nothing, thank you.

- Not right now.

- If nobody wants anything...

...how about doing the number?

- Number?

The big one I'm going to do,

the "Too Darn Hot" number.

That must be the boys.

Hi, fellas, come in.

Didn't you tell her the number's out?

You told her she could play Bianca?

Fellas, get over by the piano, will you?

Mr. Porter, would you sit here?

And, Fred, sweetie, you sit over there.

There, that's a square deal.

Okay. Go, boys, go.

- Delightful.

- Thanks, honey.

- How was I, Mr. Porter?

- Wonderful.

- Great!

- Thanks, fellas. Take 10.

There's a slight problem. We've taken

the number out of the show.

Out of the show?

But you can't, Mr. Porter.

Sweetie promised it to me.

He promised faithfully.

- You crossed your heart!

- He always does.

- It didn't fit, honey.

- There's no place to put it, you see.

No.

Hey, wait a minute.

Now it's coming through to me.

She wants to do the number.

You gave it to her!

Why, that's absurd!

I wouldn't dream of displaying my legs.

What's the matter with your legs?

Are you knock-kneed?

- Why don't you ask Fred?

- Ladies, please...

I don't think I ought to do the show.

It might interfere with my honeymoon.

- Honeymoon?

- Yes. I'm being married, you know.

Gee, congratulations!

Sorry, Cole. Goodbye, sweetie.

Oh, let her go. I can play Kate.

I can do the part.

"Friends, Romans, countrymen,

lend me your ears."

Great idea! You'd be wonderful

in the part. Wouldn't she, Cole?

Oh, now, look, Fred...

Oh, sure! I'll get the sketches.

I'll start coaching you.

You'll look wonderful in that dress.

- You can't see my legs.

- We'll shorten it.

- To here.

- Gee!

Now, just a minute! What do you mean

giving my part to someone else?

No, you're right. Nothing must stand

in the way of your honeymoon.

Oh, no, you don't.

You're not talking me

in and out of a hit show.

- My script.

- Sweetie gave that part to me!

Ladies, ladies.

All right! All right, let's set

the final curtain calls.

Back at 7 sharp, Sully.

First call:
Petruchio, Katherine and

Bianca. Miss Vanessi. Miss Lane.

Madame.

Could you manage to smile,

Miss Vanessi?

All right. Let's have

a nice curtsy, ladies.

We'll have to do better than that.

Watch Miss Lane.

- It's really simple.

- It must be.

Just raise your skirt and...

Oh, I forgot! Your knees.

There's nothing wrong with my knees.

You may step out now,

Miss Vanessi.

Second call:
Bianca

and the three suitors.

Where the devil is that partner

of yours? Lucentio!

Bill Calhoun!

I think he went to the chiropodist.

How am I doing, sweetie?

I mean, Mr. Graham.

Very nice. Go to your dressing

room and relax until curtain time.

- Let your mind go blank.

- Whatever thou sayest.

Miss Vanessi,

I'd like to run over your bow.

You were a bit awkward, you know.

You louse!

On-stage, everybody!

Bill? Where is he?

He's a prisoner of the Star Cab Company.

Shoot you for it.

Double or nothing.

- How much is it this time?

- Two dollars, lady.

Oh, great!

Thanks, lady.

Honey, you're the cutest

piggy bank in town.

Yeah.

- Sure the donkey's housebroken?

- They guaranteed it.

Well, if anything happens,

you're responsible.

Bill Calhoun, have you

been gambling again?

- How much did you lose?

- Two G's.

Two thousand?

You haven't even got two dollars.

- Signed an IOU.

- An IOU?

- But not with my name.

- Whose name did you sign?

Your boyfriend's.

Frederick Graham.

Oh, Bill, no!

This is our big chance.

- Do you want to work nightclubs all your life?

- What's wrong with nightclubs?

Nothing, if you like smoke, noise and drunks.

You thought they were great

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