Knightriders Page #3

and be granted privileges

within our society.

So, being champion of the games

is no small thing to a knight.

Make it three and I'll buy you a beer.

- And the brave Sir Ewing...

- Yeah? You're on.

...the valiant Sir Alan,

they both deserve the honour well.

May the better man win!

Good night, sweet prince.

Sir Ewing, my lords and ladies!

- The champion of the day!

- Ewain, Ewain!

Hey, Pip! It's Ewain the invincible!

Nah, I'm all right. Get the bike.

It's OK. Go ahead.

Hi. I could sure use one

of those rubdowns tonight.

What's the matter?

Alan get all the townie action, huh?

Oh, geez.

Where's Julie?

Has she come back yet?

I don't know.

So, how in the

hell are we gonna find her?

She's probably gone home.

Come on, let's go.

I'll kick that kid's face,

calling me a fat slob jerk!

And now the part I know

some of you have been waiting for.

This is a traditional part

of our tournament.

So, those of you with your own bikes...

Just what the hell

am I signing away here, man?

Well, your... your intelligence,

your good looks,

and your social standing,

nothing really.

Here, put this on and keep it on.

And if nobody's

up for a direct challenge...

If you don't know

how to write your own name,

why don't you just make an X?

Don't forget to pick up the helmet.

It's the thing that looks like your head,

only it's got a chin strap.

Billy, I...

Aw, man.

You all right? Yeah?

I guess Little John's mace is too heavy.

This is...

Yeah. OK.

Look, what did you do out there, man?

You went under me like you wanted me

to smash you or something.

I mean, you wanna prove the mace is

too heavy, you don't have to die to do it.

Oh, Sir William? Could you sign

your name on your picture?

Could you make it to Billy?

Billy's my name, too.

- Look at that spread.

- What is this?

It's a magazine called "Cycle Riders".

Now, see, I... I didn't know about this.

Merl, I didn't know about this.

Must be the piece they did in Johnstown.

I mean, obviously that is you.

I mean, you were there.

Yeah, I was there.

Yeah, right, that's me.

I'm sorry, but I don't like

this kind of stuff.

All I want you to do is just,

you know, sign your name.

I can't.

See, I...

This is like EviI KnieveI

or somebody like that.

It's got nothing to do

with what we're doing.

Do you understand me?

I can't. I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Come here, my man. How about

the autograph of the next king?

You can be the first.

Oh, wow!

There, now you have something

to hang on my lance.

She's got plenty

to hang on your lance.

- I owe you, Grundy.

- Hey, retaiI prices, you know.

Thanks, man.

Very clever, very clever.

But he's a comedian.

- Speaking of clowns...

- Yeah, he's still here.

- What do you think?

- I don't know.

- What now?

- Let's go raise some hell!

All right!

Damn, he's good.

Hey! I'm really impressed!

But I wanted the axe back!

- All you had to do was ask.

- Thanks.

- By the way...

- Yeah?

...look out for that barn!

Aah!

Whoa! Whoa! Sh*t!

That's really not bad.

You looked pretty great there

for a while. But you lost your guts.

You gotta have guts

to do what we do, baby.

That's basic number one.

Said the signifyin' monkey

To the lion one day

There's a great big elephant

Down the way

Going round talking, I am sorry to say

About your mama

In a scandalous way

He's talking 'bout your mama

And your grandma too

He ain't got too much respect for you

You wanna chat? I sure am glad

Cos what he said about your mama

Made me mad

Signifyin' monkey

Sit up in your tree

You is always Iyin' and signifyin'

But you better not monkey with me

- Say what?

- Signifyin' monkey

- Hoo!

- Stay up in your tree

You is always Iyin' and signifyin'

But you better not monkey with me...

Take it, Tuck.

Everybody here made a conscious

adult decision to be here,

to be with you.

When you go crazy, you force them

to rethink that decision.

- You've got to...

- Compromise.

Change doesn't have

to mean compromise.

We're bigger now. Things are different.

Christ, we've got an overhead!

Publicity helps the overhead.

They're bringing in more crowds.

More sucker-headed

American driftwood

that can't tell the difference

between me and Jim Jones

or Charles Manson

or the Great Wallenda.

That kid... that kid thinks

I'm EveI KnieveI!

That kid thinks you're Billy Davis!

Sir William the knight! You're his hero!

I'm not trying to be a hero!

I'm fighting the dragon!

Always Iying and signifying

But you better not monkey with me

You better not monkey

You is always Iyin' and signifyin'

But you better not monkey with me

- All right!

- Nice! Fine!

All right!

I was never into

this King Arthur crap anyway.

I was into the bikes, man, the bikes.

That's how I got here.

He just recently found out

Morgan Le Fay was a woman.

That's all right.

Pip's known all his life he's a woman.

Are you gay, Pip?

In the sense of happy,

carefree, Light-hearted?

And can we have this discussion later?

Come on, be straight with me.

Come on, Angie. When did you

ever see Pip with a woman?

I see him with Rocky a lot.

Well, come on,

Pip hangs out with me a lot.

Yeah, but everybody knows

you're my main squeeze.

Oh, sure, with you hanging around

with anything that wiggles.

People probably think I'm gay.

Ever since I've been a grease monkey,

they've been thinking that anyway.

Yeah, right.

- Are you gay, Pip?

- God.

Great to have you around, Angie.

You really know how to cut through it,

don't you?

Damn it! You take it every day of your

life from poeple that think you're gay.

Well, I'm one of your best friends

and I don't know. Are you?

I don't know either.

I don't, OK?

Well, maybe that's why

you take so much heat, huh?

I mean, Rocky doesn't take any heat.

- Yeah, that's cos Rocky kicks ass.

- No, that's not true.

I don't take any heat

because I know who I am,

and very often I do kick ass.

Down a country lane

I strolled on a door, I chanced to knock

Have you any pots and kettles

With a rusty hole...

- Did you invite company?

- No, just you, I guess.

Oh, man.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus, it's the swine.

- I smell bacon.

- That's the swine, man.

Oh, whither goest, thou yonder?

Come on.

- Hello!

- Open up!

What's going on?

We got reason to believe there's

a controlled substance in this van.

- Oh, yeah? You got a warrant?

- Yeah.

- Right here.

- Jesus Christ.

- Hey, Tuck!

- Huh?

What the hell's going on, Tuck?

What the hell's going on?

It's a raid.

It's the cops from Bakersfield.

But there's nothing to raid, Tuck.

They're looking for something.

I snuck out.

I was afraid they'd find my still.

I keep telling you, Tuck,

wine's not illegal.

Well, it's more exciting

to think that it is.

Come on, Julie, let's go.

I better not go back there!

They're probably looking for me!

All right, you stay here with Tuck.

I'll be back.

This is unreal. This is totally unreal.

Hey, didn't you take

some vows or something?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes