Kong Curling Page #2

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- Is that you, Truls?

- There's no need for screaming!

Gordon is in the hospital

with a lung collapse.

They say max 2-3 months

if he can't find a donor!

Donor? are you screaming

"donor" on my stairs?

What will the neighbors say?

Donor? Now you have to shut up!

That's disgusting.

Everything is okay, Truls.

I will get it!

You know I don't inhale?

No no!

I inhale, stop the throat,

it's standing still and exhale again.

Just like not smoking.

Here are 295 prospects on Ulvesvingen.

But I need 5 pieces,

so I must go to the storage.

Gordon?

How are you doing?

Do you know how he's doing?

He's going to die if he doesn't get a

lung donor, just like me.

And I'm in front of him in the queue.

Which means that I get the lung

first, if there even is any.

Would you get me a sip of water?

Yeah.

If you try

to sneak him in front of me -

- I will rip off your balls.

You get me?

Thank you.

Now I will drink water.

You have to wake up!

Pelle has diarrhea.

Kiss Pelle.

Great atmosphere!

My dick is going to carve

its way into -

- the second floor of your moss

infested old c*nt museum!

I said that the bord should not be in the middle

of the tablecloth. That's the point with bord.

But she would not hear of it.

I said, "Try a test patch."

But she wouldn't, because then she

would feel that she is bad at sewing.

I said, "Test patch is to test sew."

But she wouldn't.

It's not called a bord in the middle.

The pattern is in the middle.

I said, "You get to do it your way,

but it's going to look ridiculous..."

You know...

I just saw Truls race past me?

Truls, yes.

The madman.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I didn't hear you.

- I have learned to walk silently.

- Oh?

Get real!

These pill dumb you down.

You know Gordon is dying

at the hospital?

Yes, I've been to see him.

We must save Gordon!

I've heard of this

privately funded operation in the US.

To half a million. Do you have a

half a million in your pocket?

Earned a little extra

working in the evenings?

F***ing hell!

Do you remember this?

40th anniversary of Gordon.

Me and you and your father.

Truls Paulsen

is back on the track again!

Nice to see you again, Truls.

It was unexpected.

Thought you'd retired from curling. Are

you getting the team back together?

No, Gordon's sick, so...

Sick, yes. that's right.

I heard.

Lung problems as well, right?

It really hurts.

It's the worst kind.

Really long donor queues and...

Absolutely impossible, they say.

It's going only one way, then.

It does you know?

It's only...

You were really attached to him,

weren't you?

Attached?

And so were you?

But you were perhaps the most attached?

Well, you get linked.

Fond of each other.

He was a father-figure,

wasn't he? Wasn't it like that?

- Let's go.

- Truls, what are you doing here?

Truls, you should not be here.

It's the only place

you should not be.

The first program in a new

season of the popular series -

- "Where no one would believe

that someone could live ".

You can blame yourself.

The agreement was: no contact

the old environment. And then you do!

But if you're smart -

- you'll learn from this.

You don't sulk but you learn.

Daddy is worse than you

on the the dressage course.

You learn faster.

Today we are going to visit a fellow -

- who lives in a place where no one ever

would believe that someone could live.

This place lies deep inside the fjords, -

- far away from anything reminiscent

of a city or other civilization.

It's called...

- Championship.

- What are you doing?

Over the niche sport curling.

One of the sport's most ardent fans,

Arild Brekke -

- Recently won

one million kroner in the lottery.

To create publicity

about his favorite sport -

- He has decided

to donate the money prize -

- to the team that wins this year's

Norwegian Championship..

Curling is a niche sport.

Why spend so much money on

something so few are interested in?

How many times have I said -

- I'm not going to answer

questions with the word "niche" in it?

Now I repeat words

I will not hear today:

Niche, narrow,

special interests, marginally...

- Arild is giving away all his money.

- Go to your room!

- It is your job to create publicity!

- Do not watch the TV.

This fantastic final in

the "inventors"!

Candidate no. 1 is a lady

who has invented a tramway -

- That it's impossible

to get your bicycle wheel stuck in.

Candidate no. 2:

Twin brothers from Mjndalen who

has invented a soap dispenser -

- that you can attach the arm

while showering!

We're going live to

our man in the shower.

As we see it's straightforward to squeeze

out a suitable dose of soap...

The direction of the device

was certainly a bit misplaced.

Then we get ready to see -

- How Lisas tramway

makes it through the product test.

She gets ready,

approaching the critical point...

I'm leaving now.

And then -

- I want a divorce.

The journalist is biased. He wants

the tram sh*t to win.

He's like:
"Oh, what a shame

the dispenser squirted the wrong way!"

But you can see on his face

he hates the dispenser thing.

What did you say?

I want a divorce.

And I'm leaving.

I'm going to save Gordon.

He says he's should be separated. wants a

divorce. And looks like he's packed sensibly:

Coat and lamp

and Scrabble and... puff?

Loony express is coming!

Now you have to watch out!

Can confirm coat,

lamp, Scrabble and puff.

Do you think he has met someone and is going

to have kinky sex with Scrabble and puff?

Espen?

- Espen?

- Yes, hi.

- Did you run away?

- Huh?

- Did you run away?

- Yes.

As if I am ten years old?

What do you call that?

Lamp, Scrabble and puff?

I have very good news.

Arild Brekke has won a lot of money.

He has set up a half million

in prize to whoever wins NM.

We must gather the gang and win NM

in curling and save Gordon.

The medicines have made you

become a complete vegetable.

We're never going to make it.

You can just forget it. Sorry.

Turn it off.

F***!

Turn it on again.

Throw them out, for fucks sake!

For fucks sake!

- Are you here?

- Yes!

- Why you screaming so bad?

- These f***ing pillows!

Is it not possible to find one pillow

who has the right angle for your neck?

Why should it be

so damn difficult?

It is the height that is the problem?

Sure it's the height!

The high is too soft -

- And the low is too hard

and this dun-thing is too shitty!

Look at this thing!

I might as well have just used

the cover! Ridiculous!

F***!

I'll go and collect the guys tomorrow.

Then we'll begin to practice a little.

This thing is a tablecloth!

I am extremely attracted to you.

It's just that simple.

And I shouldn't be.

It would be indecent and unethical.

Simply unethical.

Fiercely attracted.

And I can't be in my profession.

Can't be attracted to the patient.

I'm attracted to you, girl.

Most importantly,

when you are out and chasing ladies:

You must never look them in the eyes

when you want them.

You get it?

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