Krampus Unleashed

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(sweeping instrumental music)

(crickets chirping)

(crunching footsteps)

- Who's that?

(crickets chirping)

Somebody out there?

(crickets chirping)

(gun clicks)

You best make yourself known

before I light you up.

(crickets chirp)

(crunching footsteps)

- Christ, Harvey, a

bit jumpy, aren't we?

- Sh*t.

You tryin' to get a drop on me?

You're lucky I didn't

blow your heads off.

- Yeah, that's me, Mr. Lucky.

Anything yet?

- Rawlings and Lightfoot

have been up there all day

with that Kraut.

I'm startin' to think

this whole thing's nothin'

but a waste of time.

If there was somethin' here,

it was cleared

out long time ago.

That old German's got

us on a fool's errand.

- He used to run with

the Klaus Younger crew.

Bunch of crazy

old Germans robbed

every bank and stage

from here to Texas.

Now if he says this is where

old Eric Klaus buried his loot,

I think it's worth lookin' into.

- Hmm.

If you say so.

(crickets chirp)

(spade crunches)

(coughing)

(grunting)

(spade creaks)

(crickets chirp)

(spades crunch)

- Find anything, Ben?

- Nothin'.

- Maybe we're diggin'

in the wrong spot.

- Boy's got me diggin'

five holes today already.

Maybe this whole damn

thing's just a waste of time.

(digger speaking

foreign language)

- What's he sayin'?

- Nothin' friendly to be sure.

- I said if you Americans dig

as much as you talk,

we'd be to China by now.

- Ain't likin' that

mouth on you, ole boy.

- Hey, you don't touch me,

you (speaks foreign language)!

I will kill you!

- [Man On Right] Hey!

- Stuff it, kid.

There ain't no Kraut

gold down there.

- You quit now, Ben,

you lose your share.

- It's fine by me.

(man in suspenders

speaks foreign language)

You say somethin', sugar?

- Yeah, I said go!

Be gone!

- Well I don't take orders

from the likes of you.

- [Man In Suspenders] Oh really?

- [Voiceover] Hey, fellas!

- [Ben] I'll kick your ass.

I'll put you in that hole--

- [Voiceover] Fellas!

- You want some of me?

I'll bury you in

that f***in' hole.

- [Voiceover] Hey, hey.

- [Voiceover] I think

we got somethin' here.

- (laughs) I told you!

- Shut up, man.

Help me dig.

- [Voiceover] Come on.

(chuckling)

- [Man In Suspenders] Oh!

(chortling)

- This is it, Clayton, payday.

(chuckling)

(hammering)

(chains rattling)

(lock rattling)

The hell?

- Looks like laundry.

- Sh*t!

Don't that just beat all?

The great Klaus Younger treasure

ain't nothin' but a

pile of dirty skivvies.

Too bad we listened

to you, Kraut.

(speaking foreign language)

- Wait, I feel somethin'.

(foreboding instrumental music)

- Sh*t, find of the decade.

Good goin', Clay.

You found yourself

a shiny new rock.

- No, Klaus wouldn't

have buried it out here

if it wasn't worth somethin'.

- [Voiceover] It, it's got

some kind of writin' on it.

- Yeah, symbols.

Bring that light here.

(speaking foreign language)

- What?

- What language you

suppose that is?

- It's ancient German.

Stones like this have existed

since the dawn of time.

And when they appear,

they bring nothing but

great evil with them.

- You can read that?

- Yeah, I know what it means.

It's a summoning stone.

- Looks like a

piece of coal to me.

- Yeah, it's coal.

Coal that was placed

into the shoes

of those who were cursed.

Those who angered the old gods.

- That is some story, ole boy.

- St. Nicholas himself

possessed just such a stone.

He stole it from the pagans.

He sent it to his

enemies as a warning.

To those who would not convert.

To those who opposed him.

- St. Nicholas?

- Yeah.

- You mean Santa Claus?

You boys hearin' this sh*t?

- Look, please, you

must put it back.

Please put it back.

This is not something that

you wish to trifle with.

Please.

- [Ben] Cursed stones.

Santa Claus.

Well I've heard about enough.

(shouting)

- [Voiceover] Hey,

hey, hey, hey!

(shouting)

- Get your damn

hands off it, Ben!

Oh!

(shattering)

- Sh*t, look at that.

(eerie instrumental music)

- This ain't right.

- You mean that might

be worth something?

- It means we're all dead.

We're all dead men!

You stupid fools!

You have awakened him!

- Who?

- Krampus!

- (sighs) Bullshit.

That's what I say.

(roaring)

- What the hell is that?

- He's coming!

- I don't like this, Clay.

- You stupid fools,

we're all dead men!

You've damned us!

- Let's get outta here.

- Yeah, you called it, pardner.

(eerie instrumental music)

(roaring)

- Christ crucified,

what the hell is that?

- [Bald Man] Sounds

closer than before.

- I'm not stayin' to find out.

(eerie instrumental music)

(dramatic percussive music)

(pulsing heartbeat)

(squishing)

(groaning)

(roaring)

(groaning)

- Oh God!

(growling)

- Get outta here!

- Clay!

- Run!

(growling)

(gun fires)

- Oh my God!

(crunching footsteps)

(eerie instrumental music)

(panting)

(dramatic percussive music)

(growling)

(screaming)

(blood splatters)

(dramatic percussive music)

(groaning)

(crunching)

(gagging)

(clomping footsteps)

(water splatters)

(mysterious instrumental music)

(crickets chirping)

(roaring)

(splashing)

(growling)

(screaming)

(squishing)

(dark instrumental music)

(bright, cheery

instrumental music)

Oh the weather

outside is frightful

But a fire is so delightful

Since we've no place to go

Let it snow, let

it snow, let it snow

It doesn't show

signs of stoppin'

And I brought some

corn for poppin'

The lights

are turned down low

Let it snow, let

it snow, let it snow

When we finally

kiss good night

Good night

How I hate to go

out in the storm

Oh no

But if you really

hold me tight

All the way home

I'll be warm

The fire is slowly dyin'

Dyin'

And, my dear, we're

still goodbye-ing

Goodbye

As long as you love me so

Love me so

Let it snow, let

it snow, let it snow

Let it snow, let

it snow, let it snow

But as long as

you love me so

Let it snow, let

it snow, let it snow

Oh yeah

(smooth jazz music)

- Okay, according

to the nav system,

we're on the homestretch.

- How ya doin', kiddo?

- I'm okay.

- But?

- It's just weird.

It doesn't really feel

like Christmas this year.

- Lots of places don't

snow at Christmastime.

- I know.

- And aren't you excited

to see Nana and Grandpa?

- I can't even remember them.

- I know, honey.

It's been way too long

since you've seen them.

And that's one of the

reasons we're doing this.

And your cousin

Troy will be there.

- I hate Troy.

- Tommy,

we don't hate anyone, buddy.

- But he always tries

to mess with me.

- And he's a total little perv.

When they came to

visit us last year,

I caught him trying

to take pictures of me

through my window.

- That's not good.

- Well, it's been almost a year

since we last saw our my

brother and his family.

Maybe Troy's grown up.

- Well here's hopin' we can

say the same for your brother.

- Funny.

- You made it.

So good to see you, sweetheart.

- You, too, Mom.

- Hi, Will.

- Good to see you again.

- This can't be Fiona,

she's all grown up.

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