Krampus Unleashed Page #2

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- Not quite.

- And Tommy.

- Hi, Grandma.

- So big.

- Hey, welcome to the casa.

- [Blonde Woman] Hey, Daddy!

- That's my girl.

Will.

- Dale.

- How was your flight?

- Oh, it was better

than the drive.

- (chuckling) I heard that.

Well maybe the next time

you all come to visit,

we can build an airstrip for ya.

(chuckling)

- Oh stop.

- What, we don't

have enough land?

- Let's get you all settled in.

Dale, will you help

Will with the bags?

- [Dale] Yeah.

- [Grandma] Amber, I have

your old room prepared

for you and Will.

And I thought Tommy and Troy

could stay in the sun room.

And that leaves the

blue room for Fiona.

- [Amber] Perfect.

- Whoa.

- I'll say.

- Well, I see you fellas

met ole Blackfoot.

Now he's what you

call a real man-eater.

- Really?

- Yeah, when Amber was a baby

and David was a little guy,

that would've made me

about your age, Will,

when I first encountered

ole Blackfoot.

I swear, his eyes are faded now,

but, if you look real close,

you can still see

that look in 'em.

- What look is that?

- Hunger.

See, when an animal

gets a taste for man,

he goes crazy for it,

becomes an absolute beast.

He just can't get enough of it.

- This guy?

- (sighs) Yep.

Across the valley is

the Rogers' ranch.

Now, it seems ole Blackfoot

had acquired a taste

for old man Rogers' cows.

So he and his two sons decided

they were gonna put him down.

Now they picked up

his track easy enough.

But it was that night,

when they made camp,

that's when he got 'em.

- He killed them?

- Eviscerated would

be a better word.

He chopped those

bodies up so badly

that you couldn't tell

where one victim ended

and another one began.

- Crazy!

Is this you?

- Yeah, that's me

and ole Blackfoot.

You know, I could say

that it was due to skill,

but, really, it was pure luck.

I came across him at suppertime,

chewin' on an elk.

And it still took more

than half a dozen rounds

from my .308 to bring him down.

- Scary.

- I'll say.

Now when an animal

gets the hunger,

he becomes more than a beast.

He becomes

stronger,

quicker,

smarter,

and if you were to

get the drop on him,

it's only because he let ya.

You see, he's lost

all fear of man.

And he just gets cocky.

(bird caws)

(dog barks)

(bird caws)

(dogs bark)

- [Voiceover] Mornin', Rog.

- Sam.

- Find the big one?

- Naw, man.

Tracks have been scarce

up by Clayton's Pass.

- Well, you just keep lookin'.

Eventually, you'll find him.

- Yeah, that I will, man.

- Sam, why the hell are you

encouragin' this nonsense?

- Nonsense?

Sh*t.

Take a look at this.

- Lemme see.

- What does that

look like to you?

- Blurry nonsense.

- Sh*t, girl, you're crazy.

I took this photo

myself not two days ago.

And not a stone's throw

from Hangman's Wash.

I'm gettin' close.

I can feel it.

- Well, know what I think?

I think you need to

stop gettin' drunk

before you go huntin'.

- Later, Sam.

- Huh.

- What?

- Low fuel light just came on.

- Yeah?

- I thought we'd make it

there before running low.

Still, 600 miles is not

too bad on a single tank.

Troy?

- [Troy] Yeah,

Dad, that's great.

Happy for you, Dad.

- Well, we still

got a ways to go,

so if nature's calling, now

would be a good time to go.

- Uh, no way am I peeing here.

- I grew up here, babe.

There's nothin' to be afraid of.

Guess I need to fill up.

- I'm sorry, cash only.

- Really?

You can't be serious.

- I'm serious.

- Sh*t.

You got an ATM?

- Yep.

- Great, where is it?

- It don't work.

- Well that's, that's lovely.

That's lovely.

- You, uh, got a

bathroom around here?

- Yep, but that

don't work either.

- [Troy] Well sh*t.

(knocking)

(window whirs)

- David, I don't like it here.

That strange man over there,

he keeps staring at me.

- Take it as a compliment.

Just means you still got it.

I need some cash.

What do ya got?

Let me see your purse.

- [Woman] Hey!

- Honestly?

It's a total mess.

- Sorry it's not up to

your rummaging standards.

(bird caws)

- Yep, that's it

right there, man.

Told you.

No doubt.

We're gettin' closer,

Roger, I can feel it.

- Yes we are, man.

(birds caw)

- Closer to what?

- Close to the mother lode, man.

- The mother lode?

- [Roger] Yep, yep, yep.

- Hey, take a look,

take, take a look

at that right there.

You ever seen a track

like that before?

Naw, you ain't, have ya?

You wanna know

how come you ain't

never seen a track

like that before?

Ain't no man makes

a track like that.

And no beast neither.

Tell you what,

exceptin' for him.

- Him?

- Sasquatch.

- What?

- You know, Bigfoot?

Jesus Christ.

- (chuckling) You're

kidding, right?

- No!

- Bigfoot?

- What, you don't watch

the History Channel?

- God.

Aha!

20 bucks.

At least this'll

get us outta here.

- Glad to hear it.

- All right, Terry, man,

now to triangulate

this correctly,

we need to start up

on the 15 mile marker

by old Route Nine.

- That makes sense.

- Gosh, "makes sense"?

(chuckles) You

guys are priceless.

- Man, what the

hell are you doin'?

- Believe me, guys,

this is going viral.

- You need to get the

hell outta here right now.

- Make me.

- Ah, you little sh*t!

(Troy giggles)

- You best do what the man says.

- Get that outta my face, son.

(Troy growls)

- [Father] Come on, Troy, now.

Troy!

- Wait, they're getting mad.

This is the best part.

- You best do what the man says

before they wind up cleanin' up

what's left of your ass

with a goddamn spatula!

- [Troy] (giggles) Good one.

- [Father] Troy!

- Go run off to your dad, boy.

- [Troy] Have fun.

- Is that Will's car?

- It's a rental I guess.

I doubt they drove all

the way from Atlanta.

- Well, we know somebody

who doesn't care

about his carbon footprint.

Okay.

Let's get this party started.

- David, come here

and give me a hug.

- [David] Hey, Mom.

- Troy.

Hey!

- What?

- Get outta the car and

say hello to your family.

- (sighs) So lame.

(sighing)

- That must be Dave now.

- You ready for this, buddy?

- Are you?

- Hey, babe.

- Hey, Will.

- Hey, Dave.

- It's David.

- Right.

Sorry, David.

You remember Tommy?

- Of course.

How's it goin', big guy?

- Good.

- You remember your cousin Troy?

- Fiona, you are just

gorgeous, aren't you?

- Thanks, Aunt Viv.

- [David] Troy, let's

put the phone away

and join the rest

of the Homo sapiens.

Say hello to your

uncle and your cousin.

- What's up?

- So, Tommy's in what grade now?

- Seventh.

- Seventh?

God, how time flies.

- [Voiceover] That's me.

- [Voiceover] Santa Claus

will know if you

were nice to him.

Where's your sister?

- [Troy] Sh*t.

- Hey, you know we are

having dinner soon.

- So?

- So, your aunt and

your grandmother

have gone to a lot of trouble

to make a meal for everyone.

- [Voiceover] She

makes Daddy angry.

- Good for them.

- [Voiceover] So

sad that she cries.

- [Voiceover] And you,

does she make you sad?

- I'm sorry about that.

He's just going

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