Kung Fu Page #3

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we saw our only son

killed in a fight.

Revenge can be devastating.

Do you understand?

Why don't you train us

to be top fighters

and we'll avenge them!

Becoming a top

fighter takes time.

Unless you're

a natural-born

kung-fu genius.

And they're one in a million.

GRUNTS:

It's obvious I'm the one!

Don't think so.

Everyone! We swore

we'd never fight again.

But we broke that promise today.

For your own safety,

please all leave!

In great power

lies great responsibility.

There's no escaping from it.

Donut, you're hurt bad.

Rest now.

BABBLING:

We can't understand

what you're saying.

Donut!

###

I know you, four-eyes!

You seem prejudiced against

the sight-challenged.

That's right. Especially

gold-framed four-eyes.

GRUNTING:

HISSING:

Gold frames

are perfect for clerks.

I think I look good.

So why keep

picking on me?

Help me!

GROWLING:

"Help me! Help me!"

Want to play, punks?

The Dragon Style?

The Tiger Style?

Come down here,

and I'll smash your

glasses. Come on!

You know I'd do it, right?

Swear to it!

Swear!

Have you no respect?

Where were you

when I needed you?

BARKS:

You sound like a wimp!

We always get beat!

We haven't gotten anywhere.

No killing, no arson,

no robberies, no rapes...

all because of you!

You're a numb-nut!

Follow me!

It's a stickup!

Where's the money?

Where's the money?

What're you looking at?

I'm serious!

I kill people for less!

Give me the money.

###

The money's in here.

SING AS A CHILD:

Let go of the girl!

He's a fool,

and she's mute.

Losers!

Go away!

You're dragging me down!

Go home and raise pigs.

Go, before I kill you.

BAND PLAYING MUSIC

MAN:

You! Whatsyourname!

Take this and get

some new clothes.

You're now an Axe!

For real?

Someone's waiting for you.

Brother Sum!

One look at you, and I knew

you'd do anything.

Right!

You just needed your chance.

Damn right!

We have an assignment for you.

Anything, Brother Sum!

###

SING:

"Research on abnormal people."

What's that?

A mental asylum.

ALARM BUZZING:

Soldiers!

Boy Scouts!

SING:

Tanks!

ADVISOR:

No worries.

When the Boy Scouts

change shifts, you have

exactly five minutes.

Follow the arrows

on the map.

Go to the last cell

and get the man inside

there out. Here's your tools.

What about you guys?

We're your lookouts.

WIND WHISTLING:

THUNDER RUMBLING

Five minutes. Hurry!

###

GASPS:

GRUNTS:

LOCK CLICKS:

###

BROTHER SUM YAWNS

The world's top killer

indeed looks the part!

It's only a title.

Cut the bullshit.

We want two people killed.

Name your price.

Name my what?

I've killed so many

trying to find

a worthy adversary.

So far, I've never found one.

That's why I stayed inside.

Had I met my match,

I'd have been out long ago.

If you find me

a worthy opponent...

I'll do it for free.

No charge!

LAUGHING:

Do you have someone?

Yes. Brilliant fighters

who are up to the challenge.

But first, will you

show us some moves?

Not that we don't trust you.

We want to see you in action.

You numskulls aren't worthy!

SNAPS FINGERS:

He doesn't look the part.

The slippers are a little crappy.

But he'll clean up well.

You sure you

got the right guy?

Absolutely. I swear I did

exactly what you told me.

Please show us some

moves, Mr. Beast.

Don't make it hard for me!

You dumb or what?

You know what

this is, old man?

Ever seen a fist this big?

Don't force me to fight.

I scare myself when I fight!

Really? Try me, then.

Is he okay?

LAUGHING:

So you say you can fight?

Harder!

GLASSES SHATTER:

Harder!

Harder!

You hit like that

and call yourself a gangster?

A foreign gun!

GUNS COCKING:

GUNSHO:

###

In the world of kung fu,

speed defines the winner.

The Beast is the best of them all.

The Axe Gang extends its respect!

SCREAMING:

The real masters,

together in one room!

Only the world's top killer

has such an aura.

BEAST:

Likewise.

Could you two be the fated lovers...?

Paris...

And Helen of Troy!

A pleasure, indeed.

We're here to deal

with the Axe Gang...

and only the Axe Gang.

BROTHER SUM LAUGHING

You should've killed me before.

Now you're committing suicide.

You're living on borrowed time.

You can't escape your fate!

What's this? A funeral bell?

SNICKERS:

With the Beast here,

let's see whose funeral it is!

LANDLAD Y:

So you're on their side?

Don't get me wrong.

I only want to kill you...

or be killed by you.

LAUGHS:

What do you think?

The good cannot coexist

with the bad. You can't

escape your destiny.

So be it. Let's do it.

Okay.

Let's do it!

###

Piece of cake. I can handle this.

BEAST CHUCKLING:

Good try, but a little off target.

LAUGHING:

###

HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING

The Lion's Roar?

GRUNTING & COUGHING

CHIMING:

HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING

GLASS SHATTERING

SCREAMS:

BEAST:

Wait!

I didn't know the Lion's Roar

could be done with a speaker!

What a blow!

GRUNTING:

Looks like they're not up to it!

Let's get them while they're down.

You do it!

I'm gonna puke!

I need to see a doctor!

Go to hell!

You! Come over here.

Hit him!

Yes!

The head!

Of course!

Hit him on the head!

Okay.

Here's your chance.

Got it!

Hit him!

Hit him!

Hit the sh*t out of him!

Right!

Hit him!

Hit him!

Beat the sh*t out of him!

What're you doing?

You want me to hit him

or beat the sh*t out of him?

You're making me

very confused!

SCREAMING:

###

Wow, that's a big fist!

Why did you hit me?

Where are they?

How could you

let them escape?

GASPING:

No one gets away from me!

###

Why did he save us?

Young people make mistakes.

But at least he

finally made good.

Look at him!

Beaten to a pulp.

Do you have

any last requests?

Hey, wait!

Why don't you write

in Chinese?

I don't understand.

###

There's no one here!

CHINESE MEDICINE

It's a miracle

he lasted this long.

The herbs should help him.

Herbal medicine can

only partly help. The key

is his own body structure.

All his bones

and tendons are broken.

It's amazing he's

recovering so fast.

It can't be possible...

Unless he's...

###

BANDAGES SNAPPING

What's that smell?

ALL SCREAMING:

###

SING:

You mustn't smoke

while you're hurt.

Let me handle this.

This makes no sense.

Who knew the Beast

could clear the chi flow

and thus unleash

the boy's true potential?

We should've guessed.

He is the one!

###

Is this for real?

You're still alive,

you turncoat?

Kill him, men!

What kind of move is that?

Kids' stuff!

###

If our son were alive,

he'd be his age now.

If he studies hard,

he could grow up to be

a doctor or lawyer.

A stuntman, more likely!

DINGING:

THUNDER RUMBLING

Not bad. Let's go.

I can even stop bullets...

CROAKS:

GRUNTS:

LAUGHING:

CROAKING:

What? The Toad Style

of the Kwan Lun School?

Oh, no!

SCREAMING:

BIRD SCREECHES:

Remember the Palm move

that falls from heaven?

That's the long lost

Buddhist Palm.

###

SCREAMS:

I surrender!

What kind of move was that?

If you want to learn,

I'll teach you.

CRYING:

Master!

###

Hey! Tell him not

to put snot on the glass.

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